"how we feel" march 1-8 2025
Mar. 8th, 2025 08:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
prismaticbleed2025 Sat Mar 1 2:44 AM
I'M FEELING = FRIGHTENED & DEAD INSIDE
WHY = Blood sugar UP.
Twitchy, sick, angry apathy. Very frightened.
God please help me.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself;Social Subsystem,Home;Couch,Disordered Behavior;Going To Bed;Sick
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2025 Sat Mar 1 12:00 PM
I'M FEELING = MISERABLE & BURNED OUT
WHY = Too crushed & hollow to get up.
Hate tumblr. Seriously think I'll delete it ALL for lent.
Parade outside triggering sheer panic freeze.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home;Couch,Just Woke Up;Getting Ready For Church;Getting Ready For The Day;Tumblr
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2025 Sat Mar 1 4:04 PM
I'M FEELING = BURDENED & PATHETIC
WHY = Confession.
CONTEXT TAGS = Parish Community,Church,At Church
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2025 Sat Mar 1 6:37 PM
I'M FEELING = GRATEFUL & EXHAUSTED
WHY = TONY BOUGHT US VEGETABLES ;___; GOD BLESS HIM
BUT we are eating breakfast at 640PM BRO WTF
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home,OCD Rituals;Getting Ready To Eat
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2025 Sat Mar 1 9:33 PM
I'M FEELING = REMORSEFUL & REGRETFUL
WHY = Nausea panic BP.
I feel so stupid. Wasted MORE money AND time.
Begging Jesus to save me & change me.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself;Praying To Jesus,Home;Commuting;Kitchen,Disordered Behavior;Cooking;Getting Ready To Eat
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2025 Sun Mar 2 1:48 AM
I'M FEELING = MISERABLE & DESOLATE
WHY = This damned disorder is burning through our bank account and killing us in the process.
I'm so tired.
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,Kitchen,Disordered Behavior;Cleaning;Going To Bed
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2025 Sun Mar 2 11:46 AM
I'M FEELING = DISGUSTED & TROUBLED
WHY = Eating disorder nightmares.
I feel like a prisoner in my own skull.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home,Just Woke Up;Trauma Triggers
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2025 Sun Mar 2 3:58 PM
I'M FEELING = WEARY & DOWN
WHY = So tired of eating.
So tired of OCD.
So tired of fighting my own mind.
At least we get to read the Bible now.
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,Home;Kitchen;Cleanup Room,OCD Rituals;Getting Ready To Eat
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2025 Sun Mar 2 4:45 PM
I'M FEELING = PENSIVE & AFRAID
WHY = Scripture is giving hope and conviction both.
Distracted by psych ad about procrastination; brought my head into a bad space.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home;Table,Eating;Reading Scripture;Psychology Work
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2025 Sun Mar 2 11:48 PM
I'M FEELING = SCARED & DISCOMBOBULATED
WHY = Tomorrow is going to be hell.
No idea how to schedule it. There's too many variables.
CONTEXT TAGS = Family,Lou's House,Day Scheduling;At Lou's House
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2025 Mon Mar 3 6:30 PM
I'M FEELING = DISTRESSED & FRIGHTENED
WHY = Last hell bp before lent, when God willing it STOPS FOREVER.
CONTEXT TAGS = In Public,Commuting,Driving;Disordered Behavior;Getting Ready To Eat
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2025 Tue Mar 4 3:11 AM
I'M FEELING = SAD & PATHETIC
WHY = Prayer cards fell behind the oven.
I feel so sick & sad & forlorn.
I want to get better.
I'm so tired.
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,Kitchen,Cleaning;Going To Bed;Sick
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2025 Tue Mar 4 3:43 PM
I'M FEELING = RUSHED & AGITATED
WHY = Why do I feel like I'm in a huge hurry?
Probably because I know I need the car tonight and started breakfast late.
God I'm exhausted and want to cry.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home;Table,Eating;Praying
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2025 Tue Mar 4 9:57 PM
I'M FEELING = ASHAMED & HOLLOW
WHY = Disordered idiocy. Happy fat Tuesday i guess.
So ready for Lent to end this.
CONTEXT TAGS = Family;In Public;In The Store,Home;Commuting;Mom's House;Shopping,Driving;Disordered Behavior;Shopping;Going To Mom's House
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2025 Wed Mar 5 2:00 AM
I'M FEELING = NEGLECTED & BURNED OUT
WHY = I want to rest so badly .
Schedule packed for next two days though.
No sleep tonight.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home;Couch;Cleanup Room,Going To Bed;Day Scheduling
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2025 Wed Mar 5 3:38 PM
I'M FEELING = STRESSED & WEARY
WHY = Lent begins.
Feeling the full weight of my sins.
Acutely aware of my absolute powerlessness to stop sinning on my own. My weakness and ineptitude and inclination to selfsabotage is humiliating and crushing.
I feel completely broken.
God alone can help me.
I need to trust that He WANTS TO and He WILL.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home;Exercise Bike,Spiritual Reading;Exercising;Getting Ready To Eat
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2025 Wed Mar 5 10:05 PM
I'M FEELING = SPENT & PENSIVE
WHY = Reading the Catholic Answers mags before donating them. Getting some real edification.
Still burnt to a crisp mentally, physically, emotionally.
Spiritually exhausted. I don't want to do spiritual gluttony during Lent like "I" did last year, but I cannot be slothful or complacent either.
Pray for the discernment & discipline to find and pursue that balance.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home;Exercise Bike,Spiritual Reading
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2025 Thu Mar 6 5:10 AM
I'M FEELING = BURNED OUT & SPENT
WHY = Going to TRY to nap after we leave mom off, before church + adoration at 1045.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Couch,Physical Pain;Just Woke Up;Going To Mom's House
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2025 Thu Mar 6 9:33 AM
I'M FEELING = DESPAIR & ANGUISHED
WHY = dream hack.
Still barely any sleep.
MORE PLUMBERS.
stupid food drop-off today.
I want to sob. I'm so tired.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself;Maintenance,Home,Just Woke Up;Cleaning;Day Scheduling
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2025 Thu Mar 6 2:16 PM
I'M FEELING = HEARD & VALUED
WHY = Finally got to meet our new therapist, Annie!
SHE IS SO RESPECTFUL AND PROFESSIONAL AND COMPASSIONATE AND HONEST.
THANK YOU GOD WE NEEDED THIS SO BADLY.
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System;With Our Therapist,Psychology Office,Psychology Appointment
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2025 Thu Mar 6 5:31 PM
I'M FEELING = BURNED OUT & DREAD
WHY = ANOTHER FAMILY CRISIS with these darn cats.
We have to go up that house ALL DAY tomorrow.
We're terrified.
But it's a cross we must carry.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home;Couch;Phone,Eating;Talking To Mom
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2025 Fri Mar 7 12:51 AM
I'M FEELING = SPENT & CANCELLED
WHY = Why won't this stop.
I'd rather be dead.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Kitchen,Disordered Behavior;Cleaning;Going To Bed
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2025 Fri Mar 7 7:24 AM
I'M FEELING = SPENT & GRATEFUL
WHY = WOKE UP AT 7 AND RAN TO FIRST FRIDAY MASS ♡♡♡
Fitting penance for last night's idiocy.
CONTEXT TAGS = In Public;Praying To Jesus,Church,Just Woke Up;At Church
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2025 Fri Mar 7 1:54 PM
I'M FEELING = FRUSTRATED & AFRAID
WHY = Afraid of eating 1200 calories.
Want to exercise but have to go to Stations.
Don't want to eat.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home;Kitchen,Meal Planning;Day Scheduling
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2025 Fri Mar 7 3:24 PM
I'M FEELING = UNCOMFORTABLE & AGITATED
WHY = Can't seem to feel clean, again.
Scrupulosity acting up as well.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Cleanup Room,OCD Rituals;Getting Ready To Eat
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2025 Fri Mar 7 9:19 PM
I'M FEELING = THANKFUL & REMORSEFUL
WHY = Bp almost over.
Said all my prayers.
But spent the Spotify bill money on addiction.
Now we have a silent Lent.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself;Praying To Jesus,Table,Disordered Behavior;Praying
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2025 Sat Mar 8 12:57 AM
I'M FEELING = MISERABLE & AFRAID
WHY = BP recovery horrible. Ironic because it didn't get us sick DURING. Miserable, very scared.
God why can't I stop though ???
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home;Couch,Physical Pain;Going To Bed;Praying;Sick
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2025 Sat Mar 8 2:30 PM
I'M FEELING = WORTHLESS & APATHETIC
WHY = I don't want to live anymore, if my life is full of sin.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home;Couch,Just Woke Up
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2025 Sat Mar 8 9:58 PM
I'M FEELING = DISENCHANTED & OKAY
WHY = Made it through a meal.
Sick and discontent, no joy in it.
Thinking too much in Scripture study, not soaking it in.
But we didn't binge or purge.
God please change our heart for good.
REFLECT = "Feeling disenchanted can be especially difficult when seeking fulfillment in activities like scripture study. What do you think might help you reconnect with a sense of joy or meaning in these pursuits?"
REPLY = To STOP MAKING IT AN ANALYTICAL SLOG. Spending so much time just bookmarking and comparing translations isn't bringing me closer to Christ. We need to be DISCUSSING IT AS A SYSTEM and even TAKING NOTES that APPLY TO THE SYSTEM SPECIFICALLY!
Also, THANK YOU for saying "seeking fulfillment in activities LIKE Scripture study". THAT'S why we're feeling so hungry & starved-- we ALWAYS pair Scripture with EATING and we're NOT LETTING OURSELF DO EITHER.
INSIGHT = "Finding joy in scripture study can be transformative when it shifts from an analytical approach to a more engaging, relational one. Recognizing the connection between emotional fulfillment and how activities are paired can lead to healthier practices and a deeper connection to personal beliefs."
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home;Table,Cleaning;YouTube
