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prismaticbleedGOALS =
ENJOY & CHERISH LIFE;
+ GROW IN THE VIRTUES OF HOPE, PATIENCE, COURAGE, TRUST
+ "BIG PICTURE" PERSPECTIVE?
"ETERNITY MINDED"
"THE VIEW FROM THE CROSS";
DISTRESS becomes a DOOR to SPIRITUAL GROWTH
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A CRISIS is highly-stressful BUT SHORT-TERM!! So CHRONIC TRAUMA ISN'T CRISIS?? IT DOES LAST LONG!
"Crisis survival skills" are NOT meant for solving ALL your life problems, OR "everyday" problems = They are NOT meant to "make your life worth living." Skills are STILL "SURFACE LEVEL." WORTH is of the HEART. (GOD-GIVEN!) (DEPTHS)
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"STOP" SKILL
- PAUSE! BREATHE! CENTER!
- NOTICE THOUGHTS & FEELINGS!
- NOTICE OUTSIDE SITUATION FACTS!
★ CONSIDER YOUR GOALS FOR THIS SITUATION AND YOUR LIFE!!
★ WHAT ACTIONS WILL BE IN LINE WITH YOUR VALUES?
- WHAT ACTIONS WILL IMPROVE OR WORSEN THE SITUATION?
★ CHOOSE THE WISE GOOD AND ACT ON IT!!
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"Accept reality with your BODY." = SMILE when you feel ANNOYED/ IRRITATED/ LOST/ etc. MAKE THIS A HABIT
"Be creative in finding ways to accept with your WHOLE SELF (mind, body, spirit)" = REQUIRES THAT EVERYONE IS INVOLVED!!
"Engage in the behaviors that you WOULD do IF you accepted what seems unacceptable" = "NOW" vs. "POSSIBLE" CRISIS SKILLS; you COPE AHEAD by DISCERNING OPPOSITE ACTIONS & IMAGINATIVELY REHEARSING THEM so you CAN EASILY PUT THEM INTO PRACTICE WHEN THE ACTUAL CRISIS OCCURS (NOT CAUGHT OFF GUARD)
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"Do PROS/CONS if you find yourself resisting practicing acceptance" = PARTIAL!
YES PROS = obedient, continue structured treatment, get new insights, practice self-denial, help others?
NO PROS = free to own timing/ planning of meals, quiet day, free to do creative work, free to exercise, free to worship
YES CONS = on camera for 7 hours, controlled schedule & mealplans, watched while I eat, constant forced socializing
NO CONS = disappoint case worker & therapist, seen as "stubborn/ rebellious," possible 302 risk
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"RADICAL ACCEPTANCE" is NOT approval OR opposed to change!!
★ We ARE still afraid, because of our OWN "black/white" distortion habit, that "ACCEPTING" the trauma is "SAYING YES" to it. But it's NOT-- it's ONLY accepting the FACT that it HAPPENED. It DOESN'T JUSTIFY IT!!
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WILLINGNESS = THIS IS TRUE & GOOD & BEAUTIFUL ♥
"What NEEDS to be done RIGHT NOW, in line with WISDOM and REALITY/ TRUTH?" (What is GOD'S WILL?)
"Listen TO and act FROM your WISE MIND" = HOLY SPIRIT!! (SCRIPTURE HELP!!)
"Willingness is ACTING WITH AWARENESS that you are connected to the universe-- to the stars, to the floor, to the people you like and don't like, etc." = "BIG PICTURE"/ "ETERNITY MINDED"/ "HEAVEN ORIENTED"
When I am willful = not getting "what I want to eat," especially when "expecting" it
When I am willing = SEEING life as ADVENTURE and a GIFT FROM GOD!!
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"TURNING THE MIND" = towards acceptance, and away from rejecting reality (which is SATANIC; NO HOPE!)
✳ Choosing to accept = GETHSEMANE! = GOD IS IN CONTROL OF REALITY. SURRENDER TO HIS PROVIDENCE IN THE PAST AND PRESENT AND FUTURE. (TELOS = TRUST)
✳ "The CHOICE to accept is NOT acceptance itself; it only puts you on the path" = it is ACCEPTING the CROSS = in LOVE! But you STILL HAVE TO CARRY IT TO CALVARY!!)
✳You DO REALIZE that UNLESS we DO ACCEPT the REALITY of the trauma, we will NOT BE ABLE TO HEAL AND INFI WON'T BE ABLE TO RESURRECT
✳ We MUST have the CORRECT DEFINITION & UNDERSTANDING OF ACCEPTANCE FULLY INTEGRATED BEFORE we CAN ACCEPT!!! UNTIL then, TRUST that it/ this IS TRUE & CHOOSE TO TURN!!!
✳ "Not accepting" = bitterness, anger, annoyance, but ALSO AVOIDING EMOTIONS. (ironically those negative emotions are often the RESULT of avoiding DEEPER, more PAINFUL ones!)
✳ "I can't stand this" = DOOMING YOURSELF? despair vs. "I CAN do ALL things THROUGH CHRIST"
✳ "Why me?" "It shouldn't be this way." = REMEMBER THE BOOK OF JOB! GOD KNOWS WHY EVEN IF YOU NEVER DO. TRUST HIM.
✳ Go within yourself (TOGETHER!!) and MAKE AN INNER COMMITMENT (HOPE) to accept reality as it IS. = DON'T DENY THE TRUTH! = AS A SYSTEM WE CAN CHOOSE. We LIVED it TOGETHER after all!
✳ "DO IT AGAIN, over and over. Keep turning your mind to acceptance each time you come to the fork in the road where you can accept OR reject reality." = "FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT" + "RENEW" PROMISES to do so: "REINFORCE" THE VIRTUE!! (PREVENTS BACKSLIDING↓)
✳ "DEVELOP A PLAN for catching yourself in the future when you drift out of acceptance." = SLOTH/ NEGLECT/ CARELESS; SCRIPTURE WARNS ABOUT THIS
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Radical acceptance works on THREE LEVELS =
MIND = ADMIT & ACCEPT THE FACT; logic/ reason/ will
HEART = FEEL your emotions? DON'T RESIST; but CHOOSE to ACCEPT (TRUST); move INTO LOVE
BODY = FEEL & RELEASE TENSION! This is a VITAL STEP because ALL IS CONNECTED, & NOT RELEASING FUELS THE E.D. PURGING???
"Radical acceptance means all the way, complete and total... you stop fighting reality, stop throwing tantrums because reality is not the way you want it, and let go of bitterness." = HAVE WHOLEHEARTED FAITH/ TRUST IN GOD'S PROVIDENCE! GRATITUDE/ TRUST/ WONDER help a LOT.
"Everything has a cause, including what causes you pain and suffering" = THE SYSTEM IS LIVING PROOF
"Life can be worth living, even with painful evets in it." (IT ALWAYS IS!!! ♥)
"Rejecting reality does not change reality. Changing reality requires first accepting reality." = THIS IS WHY WE AREN'T GETTING ANYWHERE WITH TRAUMA WORK; NOT LOOKING AT IT IS A FORM OF REJECTION!!
"Pain cannot be avoided; it is nature's way of signaling that something is wrong. Rejecting reality turns pain into suffering, and can keep you stuck in painful emotions such as bitterness, shame, anger, and sadness... acceptance can cause sadness, but deep calm usually follows."
✳ "The path out of hell is through misery. By refusing to accept the misery that is part of climbing out of hell, you fall back into hell." = DISMAS VS. GESTAS!!! + THIS IS THE TRUTH OF THE CROSS!!
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TURNING THE MIND = COMMITMENT TO TRUTH! KEEP CHOOSING TO REORIENT TOWARDS HOPE
WILLINGNESS = OPEN HEART & HANDS; PARTICIPATE FULLY IN THE LIFE OF ALL CREATION
HALF-SMILING & WILLING HANDS = ACCEPT REALITY WITH YOUR BODY; SPIRITUAL/ MENTAL/ PHYSICAL CONNECTION
ALLOWING THE MIND/ MINDFULNESS OF CURRENT THOUGHTS = DON'T FIGHT; JUST WATCH & LISTEN; OBSERVE AND ACCEPT WITHOUT ENGAGING
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HALF-SMILING & WILLING HANDS = WHILE YOU ARE CONTEMPLATING A PERSON YOU DISLIKE OR ARE ANGRY WITH.
(EVEN if you ONLY dislike something they DO/ SAY! REALIZE & FOCUS on the FACT that you LOVE THEM! "SEEK & SEE THE GOOD")
✳DO THIS EVERY SINGLE DAY (focus on CERTAIN PEOPLE)
✳Imagine the person AS LOVABLE even when admitting what you dislike/ are annoted by
✳ALWAYS SEE THEM AS BELOVED BY GOD, PRECIOUS TO HIM, & IRREPLACEABLE!!
✳CHOOSE TO LOOK FOR & FIND BEAUTY & GOODNESS IN THEM; YOU WILL FIND IT!
✳The more you "look into" this person's life with a spirit of COMPASSION & GENUINE INTEREST, AS WITH A FRIEND, the more you WILL love them & appreciate them. TO LOOK for signs of what brings them joy & sorrow INCREASES care & softens your heart, and MOVES you to CONTRIBUTE to that joy & SOOTHE their pains. The more you try to see through THEIR eyes, the CLOSER you will move to their soul, & the more you will SEE THEM AS A WHOLE PERSON, with unique motives & history, hopes & fears. And when you recognize WOUNDS, like trauma/ addiction/ abuse/ malformed views/ etc., you WON'T JUDGE, but will HAVE MERCY. PRAY FOR THEM. PRAY FOR them, NOT "ABOUT" THEM!! Lift them up to God in LOVING COMPASSION, ACTIVELY WILLING & WANTING THE BEST FOR THEM-- which INCLUDES FORGIVENESS, REDEMPTION, CONVERSION, HEALING, LOVE, ETC. And TELL GOD WHY you dislike/ are angry with them, IN TOTAL HONESTY, ASKING HIM TO HEAL THAT IN YOU, & TO COMPLETELY replace it with LOVE-- that HE ENABLES YOU TO SEE & LOVE THAT PERSON AS CHRIST DOES!!
✳DO THIS OVER & OVER. The devil will try to plant bad seeds. THIS UPROOTS 'EM. CHOOSE LOVE.
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✳"Ask, "what sensations are these thoughts trying to avoid?" Turn your mind TO the sensation, then come back to the thought. Don't block, judge, or suppress anything. Just step back, breathe, and watch." = AND LISTEN!! Thoughts are ALWAYS there for a REASON; simply observing isn't enough! They are there to COMMUNICATE and TEACH YOU what you wouldn't be able to discover on your own!!
✳"Try playing with your thoughts. Try loving your thoughts" = FIND THEIR FONI. LOVE THEM.
