help

[prismaticbleed]

I'm going to humbly yet boldly ask for help tonight, as I do not get food stamps for 2 more days but my kitchen is empty except for a bottle of olive oil, two bags of broccoli and a container of Pedialyte.

But I feel avaricious asking for help. I can absolutely survive on that for two days. But I can’t deny it’s difficult and I am losing weight. Plus, at the risk of whining, I’m also going to run out of my meds before Wednesday (June SSI) and I haven’t washed clothes in two weeks– I need physical funds to do both.

My brothers are provided for though!! I made sure they have plenty. I will be going up their house to clean next week; I couldn’t yet because I no longer have a reliable vehicle. But I do always still think of, pray for, and care for them as much as I can, even if only remotely. They are family forever and I love them.

This month, the first without grandma, has been so difficult for us all. No one is eating or sleeping well, and posthumous expenses are getting scary, now that we lost grandma’s massively supportive presence and income both. We might not be able to keep the house. I thank God that he answered my prayers for this apartment, and I have offered it as refuge for my brothers if they need it (they do have many social connections, unlike myself, so they have options but I would never want them to feel unwelcome here).

As for me, I have the Lord, and those who love Him. In these difficult days God has helped me profoundly, most notably through all of you, whose generosity on my birthday literally paid my bills this month. I am so grateful for that I could cry.

For this final week of May, all the monetary help I get will be used to buy dinner.

In any case, please pray for me. I am learning to suffer better but I am weak yet. Nevertheless God has not abandoned me, miracle of miracles, somehow He still carries me, wretched thing that I am. I love and thank Him always, even in the very midst of darkness.

God bless you. 🙏🥺