prismaticbleed | tbhu worksheets = self-esteem (Reply)

WHAT IS SELF-ESTEEM?

GOD CREATED ME = I AM VALUABLE!
I HAVE A GOD-GIVE PURPOSE = I AM IMPORTANT!
GOD MADE ME GOOD AND THAT IS STILL IN ME! = I AM LIKEABLE!

I AM NOT INFERIOR; GOD SEES NO ONE HE CREATED (LOVES!) AS "LESS THAN"! IF I AM NOT "EQUAL" TO SOMEONE ELSE IN TALENT/ ABILITY/ ETC., IT DOES NOT AFFECT MY WORTH OR VALUE! GOD INTENDED FOR ME TO BE DIFFERENTLY GIFTED, AND I CAN ALWAYS STRIVE TO BE BETTER & LEARN MORE-- BUT FOR JOY, NOT FOR COMPETITION!!
✳ In the big picture, there is NO SUCH THING as being "better than" others! Difference in skill does NOT affect worth/ value! (REJOICE IN EACH OTHER)

✳ HEALTHY SELF-ESTEEM REQUIRES BALANCE= DIGNITY/ HONOR BOTH SELF & OTHERS NEEDS; I AM JUST AS WORTHY/ VALUABLE AS EVERYONE ELSE)

✳ I AM NOT INADEQUATE. GOD HAS GIVEN ME THE GRACE, GIFTS, & CIRCUMSTANCES I NEED TO DO WHAT HE WANTS ME TO DO, AND THAT IS WHAT MATTERS! AND BY HIS GRACE I CAN AND WILL DO IT! I AM FULLY ADEQUATE IN HIS LOVE!!

✳ MY OWN OPINIONS & VALUES DO MATTER BECAUSE I MATTER

✳ SELF-ESTEEM IS NOT "BEING PERFECT"; ONLY GOD IS! BUT TRUE PERFECTION = LOVE!! WE ARE LIKE GOD WHEN WE LOVE OTHERS!

✳ WE LEARN & GROW FROM OUR MISTAKES; they are INEVITABLE & NECESSARY (HUMILITY)
✳ "ALWAYS WINNING" DOES NOT DEFINE TRUE "VICTORY"

✳ "ALWAYS BEING HAPPY" IS NOT THE POINT; SADNESS IS A BLESSING TOO! EVEN ANGER CAN BE HOLY!

✳ YOU ONLY NEED GOD'S APPROVAL; EVEN IF ALL HUMANITY HATES YOU!
+ "PLEASE GOD, AND THE WORLD'S OPINION WILL NOT MATTER"

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INFLUENTIAL FACTORS THAT SHAPE SELF-ESTEEM

How others respond and react to you
"slave/ alien/ freak/ bad girl/ troublemaker/ puppeteer" etc.; being ignored/ rejected at school & work

Being compared unfavorably to others
"Never smart/ good/ holy enough"

Religious views of family or community
verses "queer" identity & "mental illness"

Traumatic experiences
DESTROY sense of worth/ value/ goodness; "broken forever"; become "WRONG" in an almost innate way

Cultural view towards you
"weird queer kid" not conforming properly to gender/ social roles

Chronic illness/ disability/ abuse
✳ MY "SELF-IDENTITY" HAS LEGIT ANCHORED ITSELF INTO THE CHRONIC TRAUMA??? IN DIRECT OPPOSITION TO THE LEAGUE that WAS "BEFORE" IT???
(HOW DOES OUR FAITH PLAY INTO THIS, CONCERNING THE RELIGIOUS TRAUMA?) (which was ALL LIES btw)
✳ THE LEAGUE IS TIED TO US BEING A CHILD OF GOD!!!

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WRITING YOUR STORY
Have you had negative experiences that have negatively impacted your self-esteem? Indicate how they did so.

HARDSHIP: family "poverty mindset"? Rejection/ bullying at school? Family fighting, lack of social connection or friends?

ABUSE: Emotional/ psychological/ religious/ sexual. Doubt own emotions & thoughts, objectified, scrupulous, "bad girl"

TRAUMA: "Shattered self"; "irreparably damaged"; "tainted, broken, corrupt, ruined," etc. "Not worthy of good things anymore"?

PEOPLE: Mom's big & competitive expectations/ demands; bully girls at school? Social/ cultural messages that exclude/ condemn?

EATING DISORDER: Treated body as garbage; waste/ destroy all health/ comfort/ good things; reliving trauma; compulsive "people-pleasing" choices

✳ FEAR OF JUDGMENT/ REJECTION influences me too much. "Will they hate me?" "Am I a bad person?"

✳ My ideas/ opinions mocked, rejected, torn apart. Faults & weaknesses highlighted = "not good enough"; must be "the best"; "simple pleasures" a "waste of time" = all behavior/ activities must be approved/ dictated? "Is my life of any value (USE) to you?" Extreme = others tying my purpose to money/ sex

✳ HUGE LOSSES & DEFEATS. Could never "live up to" demands. "Failed" at being a daughter/ sister/ girl. See self as inherently unwanted, alien to world/ society. "What's wrong with me?" "No one likes me"? UNIMPORTANT unless PERFECT/ SUCCESSFUL. "People only pay attention to me/ care about me IF I'm entertaining/ the BEST/ useful/ etc."

✳ Ultimately see self as SUBHUMAN/ INHUMAN and therefore UNDESERVING OF BASIC HUMAN DIGNITY; THIS FUELS THE EATING DISORDER

What do your answers indicate about your self-esteem?
✳ It's QUITE POOR. It implies a LACK OF SELF-AGENCY/ CONFIDENCE/ TRUST/ DEFINITION/ POWER. It's a shrinking, timid, frightened, submissive, "SERVANT" mindset = "my existence MUST be utterly inoffensive/ consumable/ entertaining/ useful/ PERFECT" for OTHER PEOPLE (who CONTROL me thereby) or it's "WORTHLESS" and I'm "BAD/ UNACCEPTABLE/ WRONG/ UNWANTED/ INTOLERABLE/ REJECTED/ ABUSIVE/ etc." THAT'S VICTIM BRAIN. It ALSO reveals a LACK OF FAITH!! When I BADE MY WORTH & VALUE IN GOD, AND SEEK TO PLEASE HIM ABOVE ALL-- God Who IS LOVE-- then I CAN HAVE CONFIDENCE because HE MADE ME & GAVE ME HIS SPIRIT OF POWER!!

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HEALTHY SELF-ESTEEM CHECKLIST

I KNOW LIFE HAS PURPOSE AND DIRECTION.

I am wanted by others.
MOM SAID SO!!! ♥

Other people value me.
GROUP SAID SO!!! ♥

I can make contributions to others.
THE FACTS PROVE THIS!

I can receive and believe compliments from others.
TRUST THEIR SINCERITY. CHOOSE TO "BE" SUCH A PERSON!

I feel confident.
"WITH FAITH" = TRUST in MY ABILITY/ ADEQUACY; "I CAN DO IT" (GOD IS YOUR STRENGTH!)

I don't really worry about making mistakes.
They AREN'T "FAILURE"! They TEACH you BETTER!

I am able to state my opinion.
IT DOESN'T INVALIDATE THOSE OF OTHERS! YOU'RE ALLOWED TO HAVE OPINIONS!

I can make decisions and feel comfortable with them.
EVEN WITH UNEXPECTED RESULTS!! YOU'RE NOT "BEING TESTED"
✳ HAVE MORE TRUST IN YOUR ABILITY AND EFFORT TO CHOOSE WISELY, AND STOP DEMANDING "PERFECTION" (B&W THINKING)!!

I feel comfortable around others.
(WANTED/ VALUED/ WELCOMED)?
LET GO OF "FEAR OF JUDGMENT/ REJECTION"
✳ LIKE YOURSELF FIRST!

My mind is peaceful.
(MINDFUL) "PEACE OF CHRIST" = GET OFF THE WHEEL!

I am, for the most part, content.
TRUST IN GOD'S PROVIDENCE NO MATTER WHAT

I don't worry what others might think of me.
THEIR THOUGHTS DON'T DICTATE REALITY EVEN IF THEY ARE NEGATIVE (MATCH TRAUMA DISTORTIONS/ LIES)

I can ask for what I need.
YOU DO HAVE NEEDS! YOU DESERVE TO HAVE YOUR NEEDS MET TOO! NO EXCEPTIONS OR DOUBLE STANDARDS!

I can look at others directly and with confidence.
LOVE them; LISTEN & CARE
✳ TO LOOK & SPEAK is harder; it requires VULNERABILITY! YOU MUST VALUE YOURSELF TO BE HONESTLY OPEN WITH OTHERS!!

✳ WHAT YOU FOCUS ON IS WHAT YOU GIVE POWER TO. Positive focus ENLIVENS you. Negative focus DEVOURS you.
✳ "WHAT KIND OF PERSON DO YOU WANT TO BE?" FOCUS ON/ AFFIRM/ MANIFEST THAT LIGHT!!! (TRUTH) "DARKNESS CANNOT DRIVE OUT DARKNESS." YOU MUST CHOOSE TO SHINE DESPITE IT.
✳ YOUR MISTAKES/ FAILURES/ DISAPPOINTMENTS CANNOT DEFINE YOU. ONLY GOD CAN DEFINE YOU AND HE LOVES YOU INTO BEING EVEN NOW.

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SELF-ESTEEM CHECK-UP=

I need to be OKAY WITH "MISTAKES" & "FAILURES" AS PART OF BEING HUMBLY HUMAN!! This ties into HANDLING CRITICISM WELL, and being ABLE to TRUST MYSELF EVEN WHEN I'M NOT PERFECT! I'll also solve problems BETTER when I'm FLEXIBLE & OPEN ENOUGH to ALLOW "MIS-TAKES" SO I CAN LEARN WHAT DOESN'T WORK & DO EVEN BETTER BY IT!!

✳ I'll RESPECT MYSELF better when I LET MYSELF BE MYSELF, & STOP "DISRESPECTING" MY OWN UNIQUENESS & PERSONHOOD. Then I'll ALSO LET MYSELF ENJOY & CHERISH BEING "ME"!
✳ COMPLIMENTS "AFFIRM" THE GOODNESS I STRIVE TO MANIFEST/ EMBODY. I AM VALUABLE BECAUSE OF GOD!
✳ OTHERS REJECTING ME DOESN'T DAMAGE MY WORTH OR INVALIDATE/ CONDEMN MY PERSONALITY!!
✳ MY LOOKS DON'T DEFINE MY SOUL-- MY SOUL BEAUTIFIES THEM! (I AM EXACTLY WHO GOD MADE ME TO BE, & MY JOB IS (BY GRACE!) TO REMOVE ALL THE LYING OBSTACLES OF POOR SELF-ESTEEM THAT SUPPRESS ME!)
✳ GOD DESIGNED MY UNIQUE SOUL & PURPOSE & TALENTS & RESONANCE etc. BEFORE I WAS BORN! I CANNOT LOSE IT, EVER!

(I REALLY DO LOVE WHO I AM. THANK YOU GOD!!)