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[prismaticbleed]

✳ I keep second-guessing my mealplan choices, thinking that they're stupid/ unhealthy/ will "kill me" in the long run? ...SO, do I ask the nutritionist to change it? [Or] do I try [whatever I get] anyway? ...For all I know, I might LIKE [it]. SO we'll give it a shot, & then we'll KNOW for the future. See? God lets it ALL work out for good. And let me state this first: I DON'T WANT TO "EDIT" MY MEALPLANS ANYMORE. THAT'S "REAL LIFE" PRACTICE! I've gotta DECIDE, & then ROLL WITH IT. If it's "not as good as I hoped," THAT'S OK!! WE TRIED & LEARNED MORE ABOUT OURSELF! AND WE GOT A NEW EXPERIENCE TOO, that we CAN & SHOULD & WILL find/ CHOOSE enjoyment in regardless. ...BTW thank you Laurie for SERIOUSLY GRILLING ME ON MY CHOICES but letting me try in order to compare, [so] we learned! ...Seriously GIVE THANKS TO GOD FOR IT ALL & OFFER YOUR DECISIONS UP TO HIM TO USE FOR HIS GLORY & OUR HIGHEST, TRUEST GOOD, because HE WILL. He KNOWS we did our best. We chose what we sincerely felt were GOOD choices, to be enjoyable yet adventurous, & get a few extra calories to help our body rebuild. WE DIDN'T "SIN." So we CAN ask God to help us make it ALL into WORSHIP! Every "disappointment" BECOMES A BLESSING. [Another important note:] THERE IS NO "OBLIGATION" TO EAT [SPECIFIC FOOD COMBINATIONS]. Free your mind of that box! ...BUT!!! THE ULTIMATE GOAL IS NOT TO EDIT OR SECONDGUESS. You CAN ASK for extras WITHIN REASON, but DO NOT "RELY" ON THEM. Be ADAPTABLE, DETACHED, & GRATEFUL. BE LIBERATED from COMPULSION AND PERFECTIONISM. You MUST develop the SKILL of INTUITIVELY, FREELY, PEACEFULLY DECIDING, and STICKING WITH IT. TRUST YOURSELF AND TRUST GOD'S LOVE & POWER TO MAKE IT ALL GOOD FOR YOU NO MATTER WHAT-- THAT MEANS EVERY CHOICE IS A GOOD CHOICE, SO DON'T EVER FRET OVER IT!! ♥

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UNIQUE THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR TODAY...
1. Getting another surprise chance to try peanut butter for BK (the OTHER kind too!) and realizing that I DO NOT LIKE IT! And THAT'S OK! But I was BRAVE in trying TWICE!
2. Starting the "PAST" collage & seeing it begin to come together & feeling SO MUCH LOVE for the System & our shared history. I adore them. Thank You God for US, now and then.
3. Being DARING/ ADVENTUROUS, kind of BOLD & ASSERTIVE on our menu plan & our nutritionist said "I LIKE IT; YOU'RE MAKING IT YOUR OWN." "GOOD PRACTICE" for the real world.
4. The existence & fragrance & color of the tiny, brilliant purple flowers on the bush in the main courtyard-- & for the childlike enthusiasm-daring to finally go over & look at it/ cherish it.
5. Seeing our new roommate asleep this morning, perfectly peaceful, & she looked so beautiful it stunned me. I may never get to know her but I cherish her existence & I pray God blesses & heals her abundantly.
6. The meatloaf for lunch had the ketchup border that tasted just like grandma's. The sunlight reflected off the glass of water & sparkled on my face. Laurie talked with me as we ate cauliflower. The chips looked like art in the light.
7. Having a mom who laughs easily & readily recalls all the good times from my past when I forget. She also remembers GIFTS & ABILITIES I have that I forgot! She IS a cheerleader to me, and my biggest fan. I love her lots.
8. We went outside for dinner too & I got to see the autumn sunset, all coral-peach fading into dusky blues, with the forest a black silhouette against it, and the stars just beginning to appear. Grandma's song was playing.
9. Worried about our mealplan choices. Journaled about it. Realized in this very effort how we HAVE grown in integrity, flexibility, adaptability, & confidence. Even our "mistakes" are TRULY paths to deeper virtues.
10. We get a blueberry poptart for snack & they will always make me think of Leon now. I'll have to eat it with him. And we'll get to GO OUTSIDE for the FOURTH TIME today! Life is truly lovely in all these little blessings. Thank You God for today!