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[prismaticbleed]

✳ I need to "forgive myself" for "NOT LOVING THEM 'ENOUGH' TO HAVE WANTED/LIKED' WHAT THEY DID TO ME"
✳ SAYING "NO" WASN'T AN OPTION FOR THIS REASON

✳ FORGIVENESS means "EVIL DIDN'T "WIN"!!"
RESENTMENT means THE VICE STILL "CONTROLS" YOU (you're giving YOUR POWER TO DO GOOD AWAY TO VICE & DESTRUCTIVE NEGATIVITY!!)
✳ CHOOSE MERCY. FREE BOTH OF YOU!!
(RECONCILE, IF ONLY THROUGH WILLING IT IN YOUR HEART)

✳ WE NEED INFI BACK TO FEEL THE REAL EMOTIONS

✳ WOULD IT HELP TO RESOLVE/ COPE/ PROCESS THIS IF YOU PUT IT IN "STORY FORM"; USING "INTROJECT" DATA TO REVEAL/ WORK THROUGH THE "REALITY" YOU ACTUALLY EXPERIENCED???

✳ SHOULD WE DO SOME SORT OF SYMBOLIC/ RITUAL "FUNERAL/ BURIAL" FOR SLC/CNC AND GET CLOSURE?? EVEN JUST ON THAT "ERA" OF OUR LIFE ("CLEAN BREAK")??

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"YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOOK A CERTAIN WAY TO BE THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE"

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I had another trauma-processing nightmare last night, but the ONLY THING I ACTUALLY REMEMBER from it is KISSING CHAOS ZERO. And I woke up with GENUINE LOVE like a FLAME in my heart. THAT is what I WANT TO LIVE FOR. That is WHAT I NEED TO LIVE BY. When you feel lost, REMEMBER HIM. Remember US. We have 18 YEARS OF HISTORY AND LOVE and it is STRONGER & MORE REAL than ANY disorder or illness. Even if no one else sees or knows it, WHAT YOU HAVE & FEEL & ARE is TRUE & GOOD & BEAUTIFUL. So LIVE THAT LOVE.