121923

[prismaticbleed]

 

Bad night again.
Midnight fire alarm
Horrible flashback-adjacent nightmare. SLC & CNC both fused.
Very disturbed upon waking (4am) from what it revealed about my mindset in those situations.

Mom shopping
3 HOURS for two stores haha. At least i got to spend time with her.
Still we ALWAYS TALK WRONG. We say things that aren't true, we exaggerate, we play side against side, we never remember what we said afterwards. We feel legitimately possessed, like someone else is in our body. Our voice and mannerisms even change. It's disturbing and we can't seem to stop it because WE DON'T HAVE ANY AWARENESS UNTIL HINDSIGHT.

BK @1520 😂

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VOTD = Psalm 47:1.
"This verse is unconditional! No matter how you're feeling or what you're going through, keep giving God your best praise. Pour out your heart to Him, and He will lift you up."
1) It really is, which I never noticed! That goes to show you how there is a proper way of reading Scripture; it cannot be read casually. It is ALIVE AND ACTIVE. When there is a command, an unconditional statement like this, it MEANS SOMETHING TO ME, NOW.
2) Don't make excuses. What is the best praise you can offer tO God, right now? It's not about "quantity," either. You're not trying to impress God, or impress yourself, with how much you can do, or how difficult the effort is. That's actually not the point. "Best" does not mean "most skilled." It means "most heartfelt." We're talking "quality". Maybe your very best praise, the highest quality you can give, is simply feeling pure gratitude for life itself in this moment. The depth of sincerity and love in that simple action, directed towards God with all your heart, even if its not "impressive," is REAL worship.
3) KEEP GIVING IT.
4) A wonderful thing happens when we praise God despite our pain and struggle... God changes our hearts. The very act of praising Him opens the door for transformation, enabling Him TO lift us out of our shadows and into His light.
...

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KVOTD = Luke 2:13-14
"Can you imagine what it sounds like to hear an angel singing? I'm sure it's more majestic than the "Gloria" in our Christmas carol. And guess who got to hear it? The shepherds. Not the most important people, not the well-adjusted winners, but the last of the last, the lowly smelly shepherds. God's Love still sings. You have to listen for it. It's deeper than the "love songs" you hear on the radio and it's deeper than the songs that you sing to yourself. His Love still "sings sweetly o'er the plains," if you'll listen for it. Listen closely, and you'll hear "Gloria.""
...this absolutely moved us to tears.
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Universalis today=

"There is also, perhaps, one more lesson to be learnt from Samson: the conventional ways in which the Spirit works, or through whom the Spirit works, are not necessarily those of a ‘plaster-cast saint’. We have no right to confine the Spirit to the ways we think the Spirit should be working! Our conceptions of the ways in which the Spirit works are not necessarily the same as God’s."
1) This gives me so much hope I could cry. THERE'S NO "PLASTER CAST" PROVISO.
...
2) "Why is that so important to you?" You may ask. "Why are you so obsessed with becoming a saint?" My response: because to me, living as anything less than a Saint is a wasted life. The thought is unbearable. If my life ISN'T completely consecrated to God, and spent for His glory, can it even be called a life at all?
...
3) It just hit me, how outrageously arrogant it is to "should" the Holy Spirit, and yet how COMMON this claim is in our country. This is related to our recent topic on "not expecting to see Jesus." What conceited impudence, disguised as orthodoxy!
...

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ttywpf = Another GUTPUNCH.
"[Jesus] seems to show no mercy to those who have taken... the reality of a God Who is close, God Who is walking with His people, Who became man... and distilled it along with their many traditions and made it simply an idea, purely a precept, thereby alienating so many people... Indeed, Jesus will accuse these people of being proselytizers... They go halfway around the world to look for someone to proselytize, and then they burden them with all their laws and precepts. They alienate people [from religion and from God]. Jesus taught us another way: that of going out— going out to give witness, going out to take a concern for brothers and sisters, going out to share, going out to inquire. To become incarnate.
What is the difference between someone who makes Jesus into just an idea versus someone who shares the faith by going out and encountering others? What do their lives look like? How can you avoid making Jesus into a set of rules and instead let Him be as He Is, a Reality?"
1) God is not an idea. Christianity is not an idea.
2) I used to do this. I didn't have a relationship with God so I couldn't understand how to be a Christian, let alone how to "make others Christian." It was entirely the wrong motivation.
I really did alienate people.
..
3) Witness, concern, sharing, inquiry-- these DEFINE "incarnate"  as opposed to "idea"??? REFLECT ON THIS
That word "encounter" is key. The Pope heavily emphasizes it, and with good reason.
...
4) Am I still making Jesus into a set of rules?
5) JESUS IS A REALITY. That tiny article is essential. It makes Him personal. Just declaring that He "is Reality," however profoundly true, is still conceptualizing Him.
...


Passion =
"The Cross of Jesus is the revelation of God’s judgment on sin. Never tolerate the idea of martyrdom about the Cross of Jesus Christ... The Cross did not happen to Jesus: He came on purpose for it. He is “the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world.” The whole meaning of the Incarnation is the Cross...
The Cross is the exhibition of the nature of God, the gateway whereby any individual of the human race can enter into union with God. When we get to the Cross, we do not go through it; we abide in the life to which the Cross is the gateway.
The centre of salvation is the Cross of Jesus, and the reason it is so easy to obtain salvation is because it cost God so much. The Cross is the point where God and sinful man merge with a crash and the way to life is opened— but the crash is on the heart of God."
1) Martyrdom is "to die rather than renounce religion," or to die "on behalf of a belief or cause." This is NOT WHAT CHRIST DID. He died AS A SACRIFICE. He IS what religion worships. He IS Who we believe in; He IS the First Cause, as it were, being GOD in His very essence. He wasn't witnessing to anything greater than Himself.
...
In a way, our "crosses" are also not inherently occasions of martyrdom? The very nature of a cross is a capital punishment after all. We can't "appropriate" our trials & tribulations to that end, as they are from the Hand of God, and what is there to die for besides Him? We cannot be martyrs to ourselves, OR BY CHOICE. It is a GRACE given by GOD.
Martyrdom only occurs when there is a crisis point-- either to choose God and die, or reject Him and survive.
Jesus was not making such a declaration. He went to the Cross under a criminal sentence. He was going in OUR PLACE. He was not putting Himself in a position of righteous testimony; He invited no sympathizers, made no statements.
...
Our crosses only become "martyrs crosses" when they are united to CHRIST'S Cross, accepted for HIS sake... otherwise they're just our deserved instruments of execution.
They don't "just happen" to us either, but for different reasons-- we do not have the right to refuse or avoid them. We deserve them. God gives them justly. We cannot choose them on our own.
...
2) I am forever astounded by the FACT that Jesus was effectively SLAIN FROM THE FOUNDATION OF THE WORLD. His Incarnation and Crucifixion are outside of time
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3) The Cross exhibits God's Nature BECAUSE it is the door of unity.
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4)...


MDE =
"When she was walking up to communion, she said to herself, "In a few minutes, I am going to meet Jesus. I’m going to take Him in my hand and I will ask Him for His help.” While she was a Catholic who received communion often, this time she looked at the sacred Host and said, “I know You are really here. Today, when You come into me, take away this fear. Heal me if You want, but please do something for me.” ...That woman was healed. I wonder how many of us come to the Eucharist only physically present, without any expectant faith, any excitement over what we are doing. Perhaps we come to the Eucharist only for what we get out of it and we do not thank God or praise Him for giving Himself to us."
1) The simple and direct INTIMACY of her statement amazes me, as does her CHILDLIKE TRUST.
2) her prayer, and its reliance on His Presence
3) ...Where is my expectant faith? What am I to be expecting?
4) Am I excited or afraid? Am I scared to admit the intimacy of what's happening? Am I afraid I'm signing a contract that I never actually read? I can't say no, I don't want to say no, but what exactly am I agreeing to? Why am I so scared? Am I projecting all the sxtrauma onto this??
...
5) ...oh wow what a distinction. I AM coming for "what I get out of it"; but it's fearful. I'll die and be damned and go to hell if I don't, if I even miss it once. Where's the recognition of the Self-Gift of God?? Where's my gratitude for such generosity? Where's my love in return for infinite Love?


EGJ =
"Are we willing to be like Joseph, who committed his life to loving and raising a child toward whom he had no obligation?
This is a big day, a potentially life-changing day. Sit in silence and listen to the Spirit whisper one small way you can share love with the least among us. Commit to it not just once, but at least once a month for the next year.  Whatsoever you do for the least around you, you do for Jesus. How you treat the least around you, you treat Jesus. How you respect the least around you, you respect Jesus. How you love the least around you, you love Jesus."
1) Arguably, we all have an obligation to each other by virtue of just our common humanity-- even moreso as fellow children of God! But there is no exception in truth. We may not have a "legal" obligation, or even a sentimental one, but all such ties are far less binding than our common DNA, for heavens sakes. So. TREAT PEOPLE LIKE IT. You ARE obligated to love and support your fellow man, because he IS a fellow man!
...
2) And yet Saint Joseph takes it a step further: to deeply personal commitment.
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3) EVERY day is a big day. EVERY day could change someone’s life. Ponder that, seriously.
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4) Who ARE the "least" in my community? Do I know?
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Catena tonight was very thought-provoking so I'm NOT QUOTING IT. All this pasting is lazy. I'm going to put things in our own words, as we were affected, to drive the core message home.


Suffering only ever comes to us as the will of God? As in, it cannot happen to us "by chance or accident." Suffering has purpose, but more humbly, it is "just"-- we are sinners, and such is the result of sin, even if we are ultimately redeemed from its tyranny. We still sin in our weakness. No man can deny that. It's in the Bible, 1 John 1:8-10. Same with Romans 7.
But... 1 Peter 4 speaks powerfully. It means that, even though this world & body damaged by sin will inevitably suffer because of that damage, those who cherish sin will run from suffering at all costs?? Such people seek luxuries & pleasures & parties & fun, all sorts of entertainment & comforts, running from pain & trouble & death at every turn. They deny sin. They reject penance. They therefore see no purpose to suffering and that scares them the most.
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There is a BIG DIFFERENCE between suffering as a sinner and suffering as a Christian. That distinction is key, here. We CANNOT "endure our suffering patiently" if we ARE suffering for sin, because our offended pride will refuse to submit to it.
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However, there is a greater danger even than fleeing, and that is fighting. That is active refusal, violent opposition to God's will, just because it hurts. That is rejection of the Cross, blind denial of its Truth and Power, because of its scandal. To fight suffering is to say not only "I do not want what God wants," but "I do not deserve this pain." So we do everything we can to stop it, unable to rest, miserable in our struggle. The problem: we are not God. We are all helpless mortal men. We have no power to come down from our own cross. So will we be Gestas or Dismal? Only one of those tortured thieves found peace despite the pain, despite death itself, and it had nothing to do with his own strength or effort.
To put this very simply: patience is a virtue, and a powerful one, but human power can never achieve it. All the might & muscle & mindpower in the world cannot conjure up an ounce of patience, especially not when suffering strikes. Patience is given, not gotten. But then how do we receive it? First, we must stop fighting. We must surrender.
Whoever insists "I can handle this myself" is closing the door on God. Such a person cannot endure suffering, for he cannot stop trying to stop it or control it. He refuses to see or admit God's Will in the situation, and sees suffering only as an obstacle to overcome, a problem to solve. He cannot let go, because he cannot put things in God's Hands.
This sort of person has no faith. They do not trust in God. They don't trust His Plans in suffering, because they don't trust His Character; they don't see God as Good, or Wise, or Merciful, or Just. They don't have faith in God because they don't love Him. And that is the greatest suffering of all.
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If we love God, then we trust Him like a Father. We have faith that He will always be Good to us. So, when we suffer, we recognize that HE is still watching over us, protecting us, helping us, and we CAN bear all suffering with patience & courage, in surrendering obedience to His Will. This endurance strengthens our own will to do good, not of our own doing, but through the grace we received by the faith that enabled such endurance to begin with!
Another perspective = when we love God, then we even rejoice in suffering because it unites us more closely to Christ. We cannot share fully in His Life if we don't share His Passion! Through this, suffering even becomes a cause for joy, as it brings us to the Cross Itself, the very floodgates of grace, the Throne of our Compassionate King.
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When, through the grace of charity, we have dedicated ourselves to do God's will, and to submit in trust to whatever He sends us, then we will suddenly find the grace to triumph over human weakness-- as Christ did in Gethsemane. Although we naturally fear pain & death, when we say in loving trust "Thy Will Be Done" and accept the Cup as a profound blessing, that love and faith will overcome our mortal frailty with the Spirit’s power. "Love conquers all"; the Cross is the very means of victory; why then would you fear it? 


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