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[prismaticbleed]

2 hour delay so NO MORNING MASS.
Slept in naturally until 8. Body felt decent, which was nice.
Decided to plan day around 1130 mass, as we miraculously have the car an extra day, and DO LAUNDRY AT LONG LAST

Audio notes so I don't forget=
Laurie pointed out that one of the main reasons she's blurring so hard into the core personality, is because the cores are talking to her like they used to talk to Genesis!!
Genesis said that's not cool, Laurie said no it isn't, because he's the only cool guy around. Cue the sunglasses.

Lynne saying that her surname needs to change because she no longer holds her Original role, Which was quite literally standing between Laurie and Julie so they didn't kill each other. That was why her original surname was Stabelle,  Because her presence was needed for there to be any stability!
But now that function is no longer needed but SHE is still needed--  Which is stunning because remember she literally died, And we implored her to come back, And she came back extremely unstable at first, ironically, But she did stick around thank God-- And that's why now her color brightened and she became more warm, With her stability function changing to that of community stability, Through friendship and communication?  Which is an extremely orange function.
By the way Laurie has also been saying lately that her surname needs to  Permanently change.  Her color also appears to need to stay violet, not purple!  There is too huge of a difference between the two colors and it's breaking her function.  She literally needs to go back to her roots without losing all her spiritual growth & softening of heart, BUT SHE ALSO NEEDS HER BRUTAL EDGES BACK.  Laurie's existence NEEDS to be this paradoxical yet perfect harmony Between those two "extremes."

Later=
1130 Mass! Got there for 11 to say the Joyful Rosary before the Tabernacle.
We FORGOT how IMMERSIVE our mystery meditations are in such a context-- even moreso than with visual aids or with music-- the only tradeoff is that we get so caught up in the emotions and visuals that we lose track of the actual recited prayers. So we need to learn how to balance this. But in any case, it is SO important TO be able to "feel" the mysteries like this; without such "personal experience" they become just theory, just data, and the "meditations" on both their events and gifts are hollow.

I forget the exact homily-- I'm writing this too late and I don't know who was fronting to get the memory; there's always a lot of social interference in church-- but the priest was the same guy that gave us that heavy confession on Saturday, so there were some very nasty floating voices throwing hate at him. Which is BIZARRE, because consciously we were GRATEFUL for that chastisement, and we still liked him very much as a person, but not the floating voices, those invisible devils. So that was a distressing war again during Mass.
BUT. THE HOMILY SPOKE DIRECTLY TO THAT SITUATION.
Again, I wish I remembered the words. God, remind me if you can. If not, I will trust that the forgetting is better. Nevertheless, it felt personally delivered, and it helped us in the fight.
What helped the MOST, though, was what happened AFTER Mass, when we got home-- Laurie and the Core revisited the confession data. As in, LAURIE spoke those EXACT SAME WORDS to the Core, NOT a thriskefoni, to see how we TRULY reacted to those words in a CONSCIOUS context.
Let me tell you: it changes everything. There is NO hatred, NO anger, NO pride or bitterness. It's Laurie, for heaven's sakes, we're used to her speaking so roughly, we know it's all in love. And THAT made us fully realize the BIGGEST TRUTH= JESUS IS THE ONE SPEAKING THROUGH THE PRIEST, AND JESUS LOVES US EVEN MORE THAN LAURIE DOES!! So whatever the priest said, IT WAS FROM CHRIST, translated through His servant, FOR OUR GOOD. I'm making a mess of words. The priest, in the confessional, is guided in his speech by the Holy Spirit, for the sake of the Sacrament. So we can TRUST EVERY WORD of what he said to us as TRUE AND GOOD.
And, again, hearing it from Laurie helped us truly grasp that fact. Hearing her say, "kid, you've got too much time on your hands," made us realize that wait, we actually do, because we're NOT ALLOWING OURSELVES TO DO ANY PRODUCTIVE WORK, instead "running away" from EVERYTHING except obsessive prayer-- even our most basic bodily needs are frequently put on hold for its sake. And there's nothing wrong with prayer! The problem is that we're ABUSING IT and using it as a compulsive escapism from "REAL LIFE," and therefore ALSO from REAL PRAYER. We have too much time on our hands because we won't spend it. We WANT to. We WANT to invest it in work, in healing, in reading, in love-- but no, we keep forsaking it all for the sake of "the holy schedule." What a fool.
Stop, we're getting switchy.
But yeah, it helped SO MUCH, it defused ALL the "imposed hate" and foreign anger. I still don't know where that comes from. They're NOT our emotions; they feel totally outside and alien and we DON'T WANT THEM. But they keep coming. Is that the ego-dystonic thing? I guess all we can do is consciously affirm what we ARE feeling, truly, and don't give those wrong-fake emotions any attention at all.
What else did Laurie repeat back to us? Oh yeah, "you're making up sins." That's because we're obsessing. And she pointed out, we LITERALLY ARE-- when we're doing an examination of conscience, we ALWAYS say, "there HAS to be more, there MUST be more things that count as sins!" and we LOOK FOR THEM. There's a fine line between a healthily thorough examination and what we're doing, which is doubting that we CAN be good at ALL. We literally EXPECT to sin, and ASSUME that "well, I'll confess that I did this, because I probably did, and if I DON'T confess it, I'll go to hell for hiding it!" et cetera. And READING an examen is WORSE, because EVERY QUESTION gets a terrified mental response of, "did I?? I don't know, I probably did, I know I'm just that bad. Oh man I should confess it just in case, I can't believe I did such an evil thing..." et cetera!! So our confessions can get REALLY long and ironically nebulous, because our personal past just feels like an infinite haze of sin and no matter how much we confess, there's always more, and our future feels doomed already. The priest was right. We're "making up sins," in the sense that we're actively trying to label things as sins because we feel this unbearable guilt at all times and we're trying to ascribe it to every possible cause, and hopefully confessing them will find the "right one" and finally give us peace. That's textbook OCD, you loon.
What else... oh yeah. Oh MAN. "You think Christ can't forgive you? At Christmas?" Dude Laurie went on a SPEECH about that, it was deeply moving, I wish I could quote her but it's not recorded data. Just trust me, she GETS IT and she drilled it into our head. I remember the gist of "He was born so he COULD die in your place, to pay the penalty of your sins so YOU won't have to die," basically. But hearing her say it, the way she does, it hit harder than just reading it somewhere. She knows what it means to suffer for someone you love, because they really screwed up, and you're only bleeding so they don't have to, although they really deserve it. But you love them. You want them to be better. And if this is the only way to save their stupid butt until they wise up, then so be it. That's my words, but you get the idea I hope. Jesus takes it to the ultimate perfect extreme. But Laurie does reflect that to us, like a moon or a mirror, but still a true reflection. God does that a lot. It's why the System is so important.



So it's 1525 and Laurie just asked me why I haven't eaten breakfast yet today, except for a single carrot. I said it's because I got carried away praying and typing. Then without even thinking about it, I said "I just love God more than I love food."
TILLY I HOPE YOU HEAR THAT.
That was honestly her BIGGEST TERROR. She was so afraid, trapped in the eating disorder, that we DIDN'T love God more than food. But... just now, despite being hungry and tired, I sincerely spoke the opposite from my heart, and by my actions. I love God more. I really do.
God, thank You. Thank You so much for the grace that allowed this to happen. Please keep us here in this grace forever, and help us to love you more and more every day.

Evening=
LOTS of mom communication today. It hit us how friendly we are now, how she will call us just to tell us things, or to express stress and then just have us listen. We're... we're harmless to her now. She used to be afraid of us. She SAID so several times before. But now... now she is so open and amiable around us.
I cannot express how much that means to us. It's a huge and ancient prayer suddenly realized as answered.
God, thank You, thank You. Help us always be the daughter she needs.


Praying wall prayers, saying the "death acceptance" one, and suddenly feeling this absolute rush of love for RAZOR.
I literally went into headspace, where we were both kneeling in "dualspace" (the level of headspace that is a direct "overlay" of the outside on the inside; need better jargon but that suffices for now), took her face in my hands and just pressed our foreheads together for a moment, cherishing her existence, virtually in tears. I remember her placing her hands on my own, and the mind kept translating them into x-acto knives, on and off, like it was some hidden layer of her form. But it was harmless, too. She felt like an artist, not a weapon.
I remember looking into her eyes and just saying "I'm so grateful you exist." I know I told her I loved her, too-- "philia" love, but no less sincere and strong than any other. It's still love. I remember the bloodslick color of her hair in the dim light, and her porcelain-pale skin, looking so thin I could practically see her network of veins through it... I remember her eyes, so strange, those x-pupils shifting into x-scars as her presence shifted in the dim evening haze of our shared mind. But she was looking at me too, her irises just as deep a red as the wounds she used to carve into my legs, but in her gaze there was only this disarming innocence, this tenderness and awe... this quiet gratitude for me, too, and for the fact that we were friends, and for us both being alive in this small moment under the glittering dark and warm-rainbow lights.
i want to remember that for a long, long time.

i miss everybody, but not in a lonely way. it's a joyful missing. i know they're all here, they're all around, if i look for them i will find them, one way or another. the missing is only in the sense that they are missing from a place i want them dearly to be in at this moment-- in my arms, close to my heart. all of us together. i miss them with such love it makes me weep. and i thank God for it.
we must start taking serious scheduled time to just be in headspace, in heartspace, every single day. not just at night, in brief blessed flashes. we need hours. like we used to.
we will only move forwards, in the healing and hope God offers us, if we do it together.



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VOTD = Matthew 6:25
"Whatever you're worried about, Jesus tells us to trust God to meet all our needs. We don't have to worry, because "God's got it!" He will take care of you; He will meet your needs, day by day. So free yourself-- free your mind of the worries of day to day things! Free yourself to think about things that actually matter! Free yourself to think about how to make a difference, and how to live a life that honors Him!"
1) There are no exceptions to this. Physical needs, spiritual needs, emotional needs, psychological needs, social needs, financial needs... EVERYTHING IS WITHIN GOD'S JURISDICTION AND HIS POWER. Do you realize this, the truly omnipotent scope of His ability to aid you?
And don't skew this by thinking that "God won't send a boat," like that famously convicting joke. You don't think God can work in and through His Creation? Would you separate what He has joined in Christ, unwilling to accept Divine aid by physical means? Are you so proud that you demand either a miracle response or nothing? Do you ignore the humble backstreet wonders of Jesus and brazenly ask for a "real" sign from heaven? Are you so blind? Do you put such limits on the Lord? You impose your own rules upon the King? You entitled fool, are you so afraid that your truest need is to be brought low before Him? If your prayer is answered in a way that humiliates you, if your need is met in a way that scandalizes you, would you rather never ask God for help at all? Where is your trust? Is it all in yourself, you worthless idol?
I'm off topic but I'm not.
The point is, some part of us is genuinely terrified that God, being Spirit, can only meet our needs IN Spirit. As in, we still think like a bloody gnostic. We are scared that, if we're hungry and literally need physical food, God won't consider that a "real need," because "spirit is more important, and your REAL need is TO be hungry." Same with a "need for rest." "The only rest you REALLY need is the rest of heaven, so until then you won't get any." In less harsh words, of course, but the fact that our brain is phrasing it that way betrays who is REALLY putting those thoughts into our head.
Listen. Look at the FACTS. Has God EVER withheld your physical needs? NO. Countless times you've been moved to tears because God met a need with such TENDER CARE & UNEXPECTED GENEROSITY, even in smallness & simplicity, that all you could do was sob "God, you're so kind to me!!" THIS HAPPENS ON A REGULAR BASIS, KID.
But tie this back into the main point. God meets EVERY need, in EVERY context, JUST THAT LOVINGLY, and yes He CAN and DOES and WILL meet those needs WITH PHYSICAL THINGS IF THAT IS NEEDED, because guess what? HE MADE YOUR BODY, AND THIS EARTH, AND HE CARES FOR BOTH OF THOSE THINGS TOO, NOT JUST YOUR SPIRIT. Stop being so darn dualistic.
We'll need to make lists later, just brainstorm, see who contributes, to exactly what we instinctively would label as "needs" and even "wants" in contrast, in all those contexts, and then see how God HAS met them all. But now isn't the time. We're too switchy.
Just remember the heart point here= everything is in His care, and under His power, and He WILL help you. So you CAN trust Him for EVERY SINGLE NEED you can possibly imagine. Take that as simply and totally as possible. Don't overthink it. If you have a need, even if it's a childish need, God will meet it, as it needs to be met. So TRUST HIM.
2) If we have a need, God ALREADY KNOWS IT. Don't ever fear that He "overlooked" something or "doesn't understand the situation" or "underestimates the urgency." No. Its you that cannot see clearly. God already knows your need, in minute detail, and He has the entire universe at His disposal to meet it... in the proper way, at the proper time. But He's "got it", don't worry. He doesn't miss a beat.
3) God CAN AND WILL MEET OUR EVERY NEED... if we allow Him to. Even now, He never forces or imposes. Like a loving mother trying to feed a hungry but stubborn child, if he won't open his mouth for her gentle offers, for whatever reason, he's going to stay hungry-- and he can't blame her for it! She won't pry his mouth open and force him to eat, lest he see her as cruel and violent and lose all trust & comfort in her. God is similar. He WAITS for us to turn to Him, like a child, with total confidence and surrender that He WILL act, as is BEST for us.
But He can only step in if we're not blocking the door, or refusing all help on proud principle. If you doubt He even will help, or doubt that He CAN help, that's the biggest obstacle of all. Doubt keeps Him at a distance, by your own doing. You can't blame Him for "not helping" if you yourself won't accept that He CAN AND WILL. This is why we MUST trust Him, and have faith in His Love, because if we don't, we're screwed. It's the ironic "just deserts" of insisting that "I can take care of it myself!" No you can't, but God won't try to talk you out of it if you won't listen. He'll just stand back, sadly but respectfully, until you experientially realize that truth and turn to Him-- and He'll be ready with arms full of every possible help, the instant your heart so much as glances in His direction. He won't abandon you. But you can still turn your back to Him. Don't.
4) God meets our needs DAY BY DAY. This is the "Our Father"! It's also Proverbs 30:8-9, and arguably 1 Timothy 6:6-9! And it's absolutely the manna and the Eucharist! God gives us everything we need for today. That's all we ever need. We don't know if we'll see tomorrow, or if God will call us home tonight! We must stay present & focused in the NOW, which is the only moment we're ever able to reach God in, for it is His. He is HERE, NOW. When "tomorrow" gets here, it too will be Now, and God will be there still, as generous and all-sufficient as always.
5) Trusting GOD to provide gives us FREEDOM from DAILY WORRY. But we, bizarrely, struggle the most with this?? It's because it's so direct & personal & mundane... and because we're such a control freak with the OCD. We can trust "in theory" that "God will provide," but when we are faced with a very individual loss or lack, our knee-jerk response is that devilish twist: "Maybe God's "Providence" IS this lack?" But it's too stupid to even debate.
Listen. God is not under ANY obligation to cater to your expectations or assumptions, especially because they're typically very foolish and blind and unloving. You think you know what you need and when and how. Newsflash: you absolutely do not. There is consistent historical proof of this-- just as there is invincibly unwavering evidence that God DOES know, because He ALWAYS GIVES IT TO YOU.
And yes, actually, God DOES and HAS provided for you THROUGH "LACK," because you were getting GREEDY OR GLUTTONOUS and His precision deprivation was a surgical strike at the root that HAS ALWAYS RESULTED IN A GAIN OF SIMPLICITY & VIRTUE.
Lastly, on that note, you're really bad at the "day by day" thing. You HOARD, buddy. You always buy more than you need "just in case." You have a famine mindset, a disaster predisposition. You are always so darn scared that you'll run out and God won't do anything about it. Don't be ridiculous, you sightless sod, has that EVER HAPPENED, even when you lived out of state and were dying from a bloody eating disorder??? GOD HAS NEVER EVER FAILED TO PROVIDE FOR YOU. When the heck are you going to just trust Him to meet your daily needs as HE LITERALLY ALWAYS HAS??? He's NOT going to change!! Oh, but you're scared, you insist, "well, if I DO trust Him that much, He'll say, "time to level up," and then He WILL start exposing me to REAL famine, to test my trust, and wean me away from the world as much as possible!" Well first of all, if He DOES "expose you to famine," HE STILL WON'T ABANDON YOU. You can STILL trust, paradoxically but absolutely, that He is STILL providing for your needs-- IF YOU TRUST HIM TO. That's your biggest obstacle to actually LIVING in the freedom He offers: you are just so scared that the "real God" is going to just leave you homeless and penniless and hungry and cold and say "this is what you REALLY need!" First of all, THAT'S PUNISHMENT LANGUAGE, and you're PROJECTING it onto God. STOP. Secondly, I repeat, if God ever DID do that, HE WOULD STILL BE CARRYING YOU IN HIS ARMS, and even like those absolutely traumatic nights in CNC where you were "briefly homeless" and eating out of garbage cans and supermarket scraps, you poor lunatic, God STILL GOT YOU THROUGH, even when you got freakin' mugged you KNOW that ultimately THAT ACTUALLY WAS THE BEST THING THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED at the time. It's insane but it's TRUE. GOD HAS NEVER ABANDONED YOU, OR DONE ANYTHING FOR SPITE, EVER. AND HE NEVER WILL. Listen I'm just rambling now but START TRUSTING HIM TO DO THE DAY-BY-DAY THING. Because He already does, and if you just paid active grateful trusting attention to it it would LITERALLY CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
6) On that ultimate note: Daily survival isn't what actually matters. That seems impossible, but it's Biblical. "Whoever would save his life"... etc. One translation of this very verse says "‭You should not worry about how to stay alive"! And why? Because "your life is more important than the food that you eat. Your body is more important than your clothes." Note the details. Your life IS important. Your body IS important. But SO IS YOUR SOUL. AND THEY ALL GO TOGETHER. Just like you CANNOT take care of your soul to the point of neglecting and hating your body-- WHICH YOU HAVE AN AWFUL TRACK RECORD OF DOING-- you also cannot obsess over your body to the point of shoving your soul to the backburner! WHICH YOU ARE ALSO DOING, IRONICALLY, every time you get low on food or cash.
Except... not all of us do. There ARE a LOT of us who actually instinctively DO TRUST GOD and ACTIVELY SURRENDER OUR CIRCUMSTANCES into His Hands when things get tight, and they KNOW He will show up and get us through, and HE DOES. EVERY SINGLE TIME. Don't get so upset with one bunch of system-disconnected foni that you forget that a WHOLE LOT OF US inside DO TRUST GOD and it is BEAUTIFUL and FREEING and we wish we could do it even more, and better, and more completely.
One last bit: an unidentified grafifoni wrote this earlier:
"Oh of course it's important to care for our physical lives, but all our worrying about the particulars? That's unnecessary. Not only will God provide what we need, but we have HIGHER and ETERNAL needs, and THOSE ARE WHAT REALLY MATTER, even at the expense of the temporal ones!!"
That closing bit is what I want to speak on briefly, because it can very easily be twisted to promote that gnostic-dualism and body hatred/ neglect. That's NOT what Jesus wants you to do. HOWEVER, He DOES want you to realize that they ARE STILL SECONDARY NEEDS to the eternal and spiritual. They're still needs, don't misunderstand me, but if they are ever in conflict with your soul, they must be set aside. This is something that ONLY THE HOLY SPIRIT can discern; your own mortal opinion is going to err either to false humility or to indulgent sloth so don't trust it. Trust GOD. Honestly if THAT is your only litmus test-- just sincerely striving to trust God and serve God in EVERYTHING you do, even in recognizing & meeting needs, then you're going to be headed in a good direction. The Spirit will help you every step, if your intentions are pure, and your heart open to His guidance concerning them.
7) On that very note-- what sort of "difference" are we finally talking about? One that honors God. Those two "things that matter" are necessarily united. We actually cannot "make a difference" of any lasting sort, not as mere mortals, as unwise and misled and temporary as we are-- BUT if we let GOD work through us, if we really are living as the Body of Christ, if our every action is directed towards eternity and our hope of heaven, then "we" WILL "make a difference" in our world, because it is God doing His work through us, and He alone directs all change and progress.
But here's the essential bit. We must cooperate. We must THINK ABOUT HOW we can open up to this; to HOW we can "make a difference" in the sense of WHERE we can offer ourselves as a servant of the Lord, to let His grace work through us to truly change another life, even in a small way. We aren't robots, we aren't mindless automatons. We are in a RELATIONSHIP with God and we have to WORK WITH HIM, it's supposed to be joyful and free, and we can ONLY do that IF WE AREN'T WORRYING ABOUT "OUR OWN NEEDS." If we're so myopic, we won't be ABLE to see anyone ELSE'S needs that GOD WANTS TO MEET THROUGH US. And yes, He CAN AND WILL do that, because WE'RE PART OF CHRIST'S BODY, and Christ spent His WHOLE LIFE serving others, giving His Life, feeding people with His very Self. He wants to continue that IN YOU. Honestly if you're a Christian He MUST, if you want to remain united with Him!
So TRUST GOD to take care of you. Seriously, remember that you're saved by His Son, and PART OF HIS CHURCH-- do you really think God wouldn't care for such a soul? If that's the reason you need to cling to, then do so. But TRUST HIM. And when you do, use your freedom of mind and emotion and schedule and attention to HONOR HIM WITH YOUR LIBERATED LIFE.
Oh, but that's terrifying to the ego. The ego WANTS to distrust so it CAN be selfish. Isn't that awful? The proud self, the "me" mindset, doesn't want to be free, because then the soul will insist on higher aspirations and truths.
I can't phrase this well. Here's the gist of it: don't be afraid of freedom. That animal fear isn't you. It's a devil thought. Push it aside. Embrace the freedom of trust in God, however "scary" that wide-open vista of life is, especially after a life spent in a prison cell. I promise you, it's only "scary" because it's so grand and new and strange, but it is beautiful. God wants to embrace you and send you out to embrace others in His Name. Say yes! Put your life in His Hands, and then use your unshackled arms to reach out in love to the lives of those around you.
I can't say any more on this. It speaks for itself.
We know what it's like to trust God, and to doubt Him. The latter is unbearable suffering. The former is childlike bliss. Please, always choose to trust Him, especially when that requires a leap of faith. Those sacrificial surrenders always result in the most wonderful "little miracles." God is faithful. He will always be faithful. Follow Him. Live for Him. He'll take care of all the details. 


More from Universalis =
"Happy the man who has placed his trust in the Lord, and has not gone over to the rebels who follow false gods... As for me, wretched and poor, the Lord thinks of me. You are my rescuer, my help, O God, do not delay."
1) IF YOU DON'T TRUST GOD, YOU WILL INEVITABLY TRUST IN IDOLS. There literally is no other option. Instinctively you MUST trust in something, even if only yourself. That's all idolatry. You are making YOURSELF a "false god"!!
2) Such untrusting people are REBELS!!
3) The Lord thinks of you. Yes, you.
4) God never delays, truthfully. That's a beautiful consolation, however difficultly it may play out.


A very important distinction we personally NEED TO REMEMBER =
"Jesus never said not to think about your basic needs. He did say not to worry about them. Recognizing your physical needs can remind you of your spiritual needs— an invitation to trust your ultimate Provider."
1) This is a humbling chastisement! We can indeed to go to this extreme, as we mentioned before, especially the thriskefoni-- they love to do 24-hour fasts, to refuse to sleep, to expose the body to harsh weather, etc. But self-mortification is one thing-- the active refusing to admit that the body is loopy from hunger and dehydration is a whole other thing. We HAVE to take care of this body. We HAVE to pay attention to it and treat it kindly. So yes, we DO have to realistically consider its NEEDS, which DO include food, drink, rest, and cleanliness, to say the least, and then we have to MEET those needs as God expects us to do. Does that sound shocking to you? Do you feel like "I can't feed the body until God TELLS me I can?" Relying on the spiritradio is too risky, kiddo. If we're seriously hungry and exhausted enough that our body is begging for us to pay attention, then the frequencies you're going to pick up are NOT going to be any less distressing.
2) Ironically, that's WHERE your "worry" comes in ALL THE TIME. You start obsessing over "what the floating voices are telling me to do/ not to do," and you PANIC over so much as eating "one slice of carrot without permission" because then "that's a mortal sin." You think that doesn't count as worry? What the heck else is your brain doing in those moments? You're TERRIFIED. And you're NOT THINKING OF GOD, not truthfully. God doesn't string you along with conditional statements, weirdly particular directions to "test you," or punishments for eating one single loop of cereal "too many." I know you don't believe me. I know we definitely need to discuss this more, ideally one-on-one (J make a note). But worrying is not serving God, in any case. If you put your heart into the position of trust, like a child, I guarantee you, the Spirit would guide you to do whatever actually needs to be done or not done, without any fear.
3) THE PHYSICAL SERVES THE SPIRITUAL. THE BODY AND SOUL ARE UNITED. You literally cannot split them up! I know we've NEVER believed that before but IT'S LITERALLY BIBLICAL, it's the most astounding truth of Christianity we have learned recently, and it's TRUE so you NEED TO LIVE ACCORDING TO IT. Jesus died and rose again and KEPT HIS BODY and so you're gonna keep yours!! So TAKE CARE OF THE POOR THING. But also realize that IT IS MEANT TO BE IN HARMONY WITH YOUR SOUL. What I'm trying to say is, when you recognize what your body needs, somehow, it echoes what your soul needs. They both hunger and thirst, albeit for different things. They both need warmth, and rest, and breath. You get the idea. But seeing your physical needs LIKE THIS is actually hugely edifying, and beautifully compassionate, because then you're truly honoring the body AS A TEMPLE OF GOD, and not just as some "meat vessel." That's cruel and unkind and irreverent. The body reflects the soul and you cannot deny that. I can't claim much else on this topic as it's new and we're uneducated, but I can tell you what we feel in experience: when we neglect the body, when we don't take care of it, when we don't recognize or respect its needs, it doesn't help our soul one bit. Again, there's a BIG difference between honestly reverent "mortification" and outright abusing the body under the pretense of piety. Which is WHY our priest LITERALLY BANNED US FROM FASTING, you goof. You take it way too far. If you start thinking that it's fine and dandy to just not eat, because you hate eating and don't want to think about the body, well I hate to tell you kiddo but sooner or later that's gonna bleed into the same sort of subtly bitter apathy towards your soul. What you stomp on will come back to bite you. Whatever is motivating such unloving behavior does NOT have your soul's best interests in mind. Don't be fooled.
4) God is our "ultimate Provider." He's the fundamental, absolute, final, greatest, etc. in that respect. That means He can provide everything and anything and nothing else in the entire cosmos can. Everywhere else you look, there will be lack and dearth and limitation. You will find deserts and droughts. But God is a watered garden. You get the picture. And He is like this UNCONDITIONALLY. He created BOTH your body AND your soul and He KNOWS what they need and HOW to meet those needs and WHEN-- He even knows WHY, which is really beautiful to reflect upon.
The point is: you need to trust God COMPLETELY with BOTH your spiritual needs AND your bodily needs-- not just in the sense of His ability and willingness to meet them (which are both constants, btw), but ALSO in the sense that you GIVE THEM BOTH TO HIM EQUALLY. You trust Him TO meet both and you ACCEPT that care from Him FOR both, equally. You can't "have a favorite child" in this regard. You must love ALL parts of your existence just as equally as God loves them. 
...I daresay that has a far profounder meaning for us as a System. Take it that way. It's true, too.


"Advent prompts us to embrace a sense of trust, letting go of anxieties about the temporal and embracing the eternal significance of Christ's coming... to shift our focus from worldly worries to spiritual anticipation. [After all,] God knows what you need before you do. God knows your prayers before you pray them... So, let’s seek Him first. During this season of Advent, reflect upon the work entrusted to us while trusting in Him for provision [to live and do that work]. And let's not waste another second on worldly worries!"
1) I like this new spin. We aren't just to actively choose to trust, in particular circumstances, but to "embrace a SENSE of trust." We are to live in trust like it's the air we breathe.
2) Oh man, this too-- the depth of meaning that Advent GIVES that trusting atmosphere is FOUNDED IN CHRIST. That's amazing. We have "no reason to worry" not just because God is our Provider, but because Christ has come to earth and THAT is what brings that truth home more than anything?
Pause, stop talking, and let it sink in. Christ came to earth as a human. He united Himself to humanity, FOREVER. His first Advent was the fulfillment of thousands of years of promise and waiting-- for what? For a SAVIOR! Isn't that simple fact alone enough to erase all your anxieties forever? And then consider that this Savior is GOD HIMSELF, in a human form, which HE CHOSE specifically to be one with us... there's such a profound peace in that, it's staggering really. Just pondering that for a moment fills our heart with such quiet comfort and consolation. Jesus Christ is the very manifestation of "everything is going to be okay," because He exists. He has come to us, and He will remain with us forever.
3)
4)


The daily prayer is really powerful and worth pondering thoroughly=
"God, You know what I need and what I want. And regardless of what my current situation is-- I believe that You are enough for me. Your provision is enough for me. Your love is enough for me. Your will is enough for me. So today, I surrender my concerns for the future and my current worries. I will pursue You and trust that You will take care of me."
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KVOTD = Luke 4:1-2, an unexpected compliment to the VOTD.
"God cannot tempt us; temptations never come from God, but from the devil. So, as the Body of Christ, when we are tempted in our deserts, we should rely on God and not ourselves, and persevere in our resistance to evil, because God will come through for us and deliver us by faith. Never give up your faith in God, even in your most difficult seasons, because during the difficulty & temptation itself God will give you the strength and help you need to overcome all the temptations that are set before you."
1) With all the Catena reflections on temptations lately, and how they CAN and ARE opportunities for virtue, we must be VERY CAREFUL to clarify that GOD USES THEM FOR THAT PURPOSE. The devil does NOT intend that when he tempts us. Remember the book of Job! This is spiritual warfare, but God just loves to take all the angry attempts of evil and transform them into training-grounds for His kids. He knows that patience only flourishes when we are being tempted to haste, to irritability, to arrogance. So God lets the devil do his dirty work in tempting, while the Spirit is handing us armloads of grace-ammunition, haha.
2) AS CHRIST'S BODY, we are connected to Him in His experiences like this??
3)


"God, You have already given me everything I need to say "no" to temptation-- with the help of Your Word and the Holy Spirit, sin has no place in my life. Thank You for taking such great care of me."
1) God has "already" acted, before you even asked, or realized you needed to ask!
2) Specifically, God already "gave." He charges nothing, He demands no payment, He doesn't check credit scores. God GIVES, and He does so already, before the need makes itself known.
3) God gives EVERYTHING we need.
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4) What is our "everything" needed? GOD'S WORD & SPIRIT.
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5) We CAN "say no" to temptation. I don't just mean it's technically possible, but that it's ALLOWED. As strange as that sounds, as a chronic trauma survivor that became a "victimized abuser", this is perpetually an essential lesson.
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6) In this same real context, the devil-- the Tempter-- is an abuser; THE Abuser.
7)

The questions are STRIKING=
"What can we learn from Jesus’ experience in the wilderness?
+ I can overcome temptation by trusting in the Truth of God's Word.
+ The enemy will often tempt me when I am already tired.
+ The Holy Spirit gives me power and wisdom to avoid sin."
1) Boy, is THIS ever relevant to life lately, especially with all the genuinely disturbing antitruths we see all over YouTube and Tumblr, whenever we foolishly stumble into either. And yes they're more than just "falsehoods" or "lies." They are actively anti-Truth, and often just as brazenly anti-Christ. It's genuinely terrifying, to realize THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING in the world around me RIGHT NOW.
And yet, like Christ Himself in the desert, we can overcome, because we HAVE THE TRUTH. We KNOW what is ACTUALLY REAL, and it is GOD'S WORD!
No matter what heresies and blasphemies may become popular, even promoted, if we put all our trust in Scripture alone then we will have solid ground to stand on.
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2) OH MAN CAN WE EVER ATTEST TO THIS ONE!!!
Still... oh wow, Jesus went through this too. I never realized that. He gets it. He KNOWS how hard it is. Jesus was TIRED, and hungry, and overall suffering physically in that wilderness. He was not in "top shape." And the devil TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THAT. I told you he was The Abuser!!
But Jesus DIDN'T GIVE IN. His mortal body and mind, however hassled, were NOT the source of His moral strength! His power to resist the devil's temptations came from His TRUST AND LOVE FOR GOD HIS FATHER.
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3) I note the word "avoid" here-- not just escape, not just fight, not just overcome, but AVOID!
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The prayer lottery gave us THIS, which I MUST take line by line=
"Jesus, I believe You are alive."
RIGHT NOW, Jesus is ALIVE. And yes, not just "as a spirit." He HAS a body, a HUMAN body, and HE IS ALIVE. Do you seriously believe that? Do you ACCEPT that reality, as shocking at it is, enough TO believe it in earnest? Or are you still too afraid of bodies and hum

"Jesus, I believe You are ever-present."
Even in your most humiliating, frightening, unhinged moments? Are you willing to admit His Presence even then, in you, living stone?

"Jesus, I believe You are working in the world around me."
Don't blunt the impact by making this a generalization. Look at the world AROUND YOU, right now. How "small" is it? On your bleakest days, is your "world" just these four walls? Are you homebound? I'll? Poverty-stricken? Are you isolated, ostracized, afraid? How small can your world get? Look at it. Do you believe Christ is still working there?
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"Jesus, I believe that no matter what circumstances I face, You are Good."
Emphasize different words. Jesus, YOU are Good. You ARE Good. You are GOOD. Feel the entire breadth of meaning.
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"Jesus, I believe You weep, mourn, and rejoice with Your children."
THIS is what stopped me dead in my tracks. Do I believe this??
Why does some very old and loud part of our psyche still see God as emotionally apathetic?
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"Jesus, I believe You are my God and my Redeemer."
Do you truly believe the "MY"? Do you realize just how personal that pronoun actually is?
Of course you do, deep down. That's WHY you're afraid to say it with sincerity. The intimacy scares you.
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"Jesus, I believe You are making all things new."
"Are" is an active word. Right now, in this very moment, Jesus IS making ALL things new-- and "all" MEANS ALL. There is NO exception.
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"So come what may, Jesus, I will place my hope in You."
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We're bring crazy & starting another Advent reading plan.

"Advent simply means "coming into place, view, or being; arrival.""
As soon as I read this Mimic smirks & says "I like this one already." SAME BRO
1) Christ IS "coming into place." Isn't that astonishing? Although He hails from heaven, this world of ours, that little manger, Mary's womb, our hearts, are His place.
Consider the sense of "finality & connection" we mean when we use that phrase ourselves. "Things are finally coming into place!" We've been waiting, we see the pieces lining up, but there hasn't yet been a fulfillment, a conclusion. Nevertheless, it is on the way, we see the star, we follow it in hope, to that central event towards which everything else has led. And consider that very word "place," how oddly nominative it is, how personal it is. "This is my favorite place." "I've found my place in society." "Come stay at my place." There's a sense of rest, of security, of a search coming to a happy end.
Players move into position. Puzzle pieces begin to match. A clue is found, an idea is sparked. The Spirit hovers over the face of the waters. Advent is always happening. Christ is coming into place.
2) Christ is coming into view.
3) Christ is coming into being. What a paradox! And yet it, too, is true-- true in US, this very moment.
4) Christ is arriving. This takes everything a step further still.
Consider the word. Do you think of airplanes, railways, limousines? There is more than mere expectation, there is an announcement, there is a watching, there is a timeframe.
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(BTW WHO IS TYPING THIS BIT????)


"Christ’s arrival offers a holistic response to the sin problem and can directly affect your life today and give you hope for a future in Him...
In Christ, there is hope for restoration of God and man.
In Christ, there is hope for freedom from sin.
In Christ, there is hope for eternal purpose for your life.
In Christ, you have hope to live as a son or daughter of a loving and compassionate Father.
In Christ, your religious traditions are overshadowed by a relationship with God... Ask God to show you how your traditions can be redeemed to illuminate Christ towards others this season."
1) "Holistic" is a tough definition, but i think the essence here is "everything taken together as a unit." Every aspect, every component, is treated as a part of a whole, interrelated and indivisible from the others.
So, when Christ offers a "holistic response," He deals with sin's effects & consequences in EVERY context-- spiritual, psychological, emotional, social, physical, et cetera. His solution is as universal as the problem. That is AMAZING.
And lest you forget: THAT IS THE POWER OF THE CROSS.
2) This effect is DIRECT AND PRESENT. It is RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.
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