110323

[prismaticbleed]

 
Sleep deprived. Can't be helped.
Still made it to Mass!
Weaker and more distracted than usual. Very hard to run or think. Blood sugar in 60s.
Funeral prep made upstairs prayer hard too, pushing social mode

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Ttywpf =  AN ABSOLUTE SWORD TO THE GUT.

"[Today] we encounter many Christians without Christ. For example, those like the Pharisees, Christians who put their faith, their religiosity, their Christianity, in laws: I must do this, I must do that. They are Christians out of habit.... [They] seek out only devotions, but no Jesus. There is something missing, my brother! Jesus is missing. If our devotions lead you to Jesus, then they are good. But if they leave you where you are, then something is wrong.
Ask yourself: “Is my faith primarily a matter of laws and habit? What can I do to more decisively put Jesus at the center of my devotions, and my time at Mass? Consciously re-center all of your activities on Jesus."
This is, point-blank, our ABSOLUTE BIGGEST FAULT.
Reading this we felt our blood run cold.  The Holy Spirit has perfect timing-- our entire morning has been the most terrible proof of this conflict.  Someone Blue in the system-- a younger female with no name-- was actually sobbing from how HOLLOW it all felt, the "trying to get all the prayers said," because there were NO EMOTIONS except FRUSTRATION, ANXIETY, and GRIEF.
AND YET, NOT saying constant prayers makes the scrupulous guilt and panic INTOLERABLE. It will choke us if we don't frantically "say another prayer." It's why we get PARALYZED with ANY "unscheduled time." So we're currently in a dilemma.
🌟ACTUALLY, NO WE'RE NOT. THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN WHEN WE PRAY TOGETHER AS A SYSTEM!!!!


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VOTD = Hebrews 11:6; "faith requires an active trust in God." Emphasis on how the situations that tempt us to lose faith, or trust, in God, are the "exercises" necessary to STRENGTHEN and PROVE our faith and trust! It is only against that temptation to despair and self-reliance that faith CAN shine with its full capacity, and thus we learn what it really means TO have faith. "Virtue is only virtue in extremis." Virtue doesn't exist in theory or profession, only in practice... and typically, that practice is through BATTLE against opposing vices.

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KVOTD = "Eternity sounds like a pretty awesome place, right? Well, if you trust in Jesus, I'll see you there!"
Man that genuinely made me smile and laugh with joy. I needed that, thank you.

The verse-- Rev:21:22-- says how there's no Temple (or Cathedral, or Basilica) in Heaven because God HIMSELF IS the "place of worship"-- specifically God "AND THE LAMB"; the Trinity INCLUDING JESUS'S RESURRECTED HUMANITY??? Hence the "and"; the Trinity is indivisible, but Jesus's human nature is not God-- it is only united TO God IN the Son. That’s how I understand it, humbly.
But it's amazing then. That means the Lamb-- Jesus WHO DIED, in His Holy Humanity-- IS THE "TEMPLE," IN HIS PERSON. And every human who gets to heaven gets there THROUGH HIM, through His dwelling in OUR "temples"-- our own human bodies-- by the Spirit while alive on earth.
Now, in heaven, our humanity is sanctified and restored to its original purpose-- to dwell in the Presence of God-- while DEEPENING this purpose in Christ, as we have become HIS MYSTICAL BODY, and that is not erased in heaven?
The Lamb is our "Temple" in the sense that He is FULLY PRESENT to each of us, and we worship Him IN HIM, in His grace and His intimate unity with us that began on earth? He is the location AND the means AND the object of worship, AS THE LAMB, the Mediator, the Son, the New Adam, the Crucified One.
There's so much depth of beauty, it's wonderful. But I literally cannot comprehend it all and I am speaking even now from simple awe. I have no authority. I just love God and am moved by His immeasurable loveliness to the point of trying to express that somehow. I mean no offense in speaking. But it'd dangerous to ramble any more in my ignorance, however "good" my intentions.

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Some article quotes.

"[The Marxist] idea, so deeply rooted in communism, became the backbone of the feminist movement, as it asked, “How do we help women become like men?” not “How do we help women as women?” [and therefore] husbands and children were targeted as the primary obstacles to women’s goals of career and happiness. This line of thinking, that women need to become like men to fully flourish, extends to our own day... The unspoken premise is that "women aren’t made for the home" (even though a woman’s body is every child’s first home), and "women aren’t made to be mothers"; [that] motherhood is "optional", not essential... [yet] a child needs a mother who is "dialed into" him — someone who pays attention to who he is and what his needs are, often before he knows them himself. Most women have been told to “lean in” to careers, not to “dial in” to their children. When this doesn’t happen, many children grow into adults feeling unseen, unknown and unheard. Too many feel abandoned and alone. The focus away from the home has created massive emotional wounds rarely spoken of but healed in small ways by having someone “listening” to our needs — listening in a way that a mother should do for a small child. [These] concepts of “walking together” and “listening"... are especially necessary when they have not been applied where they ought— at home. Mothers spend large swaths of time just holding, rocking and carrying their children and even more time listening to their children for cries, tears, breath, laughter and all the seemingly not-so-important chitchat. These are the key moments children need, to know they are known and loved so they can emerge from childhood as mature and healthy adults. But this is precisely what has been stripped away from so many children of the last three generations. "Walking and listening" can also only limp [clumsily like a child themselves] if not balanced with truth and authentic charity; [because] the other essential action mothers perform is to teach their children right and wrong — what is harmful and what is good. Here, too, is the deep connection between good mothers and Holy Mother Church... Every good mother knows the difference between authentic unity among her children in heart and mind versus a superficial appearance of unity displayed merely to keep the peace, while discord hides just beneath the surface. Our fragmented and polarized world... without true conversion and truth, will remain discordant no matter how much "walking and listening" take place on a global scale. [We must] correct the oversight of motherhood and raise the issue, particularly modeled by the Blessed Mother, in [our] actual discussions [of healing these societal wounds]."
I read this article and felt my stomach drop. THIS IS STAGGERING.
IT EFFECTIVELY SUMMARIZES ALL OUR FAMILY GENDER ISSUES & PSYCHO-EMOTIONAL WOUNDS. And that is tragic.
BUT. It's ALSO the first time in YEARS that I have felt ANY GLIMMER OF HOPE towards ACTUALLY HEALING THE MOTHER TRAUMA. Secular therapists only made it worse; they just went in blind egocentric circles. RELIGION WAS ALWAYS THE MISSING PUZZLE PIECE.
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"When we deny these roles, we get inferior versions of both sexes and a society that is less than it could be.
When women aspire to be the sexless creature of modernity, they often present with an over-compensatory aggression. They deny all of their femininity and pretend to think and be as men... When men aim for the same sexless creature, they grow effeminate, reaching neither the masculine that they deny nor the feminine, instead stunted at a juvenile state of emotionalism."
Oh boy, me and my two trans siblings were/are ALL guilty of this.
Cannon was INFAMOUS for her aggression, especially towards femininity.
This is something we must applaud Mel and Oliver for: we never saw any aggression in them. They were both gentle, sweet, kind, and emotionally open. No wonder they were both so scared of us-- we were the tormented opposite. If Mel had any "aggression" it was in their admirable drive to succeed & excel in their education and career-- a drive which has indeed brought them soaring success, for which I am sincerely grateful. If there was any "aggression" in Oliver, Kris probably took it, haha. Really they never showed a hint of any such tendencies in them, which in time sadly made our aggression so much worse, as we saw their softness as a "feminine weakness/ babyish annoyance" instead of the immense strength of character it was, and so we hardened our own heart in contrast. We really were a monster back then, I am so terribly sorry now that I can see it. If there was any way to make amends I would, trust me. No one ever deserves to be treated the cruel and callously way "I" treated those amazing souls.


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Jumping back into Benson commentary today, verse 35.

"Yet a little while is the light with you = As if he had said, "Do not cavil at what I now say; but remember how short this opportunity is, which you now enjoy only through the divine goodness; and thus improve by my instructions, Who Am the Light of the world... lest, by neglect of this grace, the darkness of spiritual blindness come upon you, by the just judgment of God. If that should happen to you, you will be in a dreadfully miserable condition indeed-- deserted of God, and left to the darkness and folly of your own hearts." He that is destitute of the light of the gospel, that is, unacquainted with its discoveries and directions, wanders endlessly in mistakes and errors, in a thousand crooked paths, and is not aware of it: he is probably going to destruction, and knows not his danger."
I know we've spoken about the last bit here before, but the beginning is what caught me.
"Do not cavil, because time is short." To cavil is "to raise frivolous objections, find fault without good reason," and it actually ties right into "the darkness of one's own heart." It's scarily easy to nitpick Jesus's teachings in today's world; something is always "politically incorrect," or "antiprogressive," or "bigoted," or something equally ridiculous. All those slanderous accusations are cavils. They are blind to the truth, closed to the depths, eyes shut against the light, instead focusing perhaps on a tiny word out of context, which they blow grossly out of proportion and use as a rude megaphone for their complaints. They don't realize that their very encounter WITH those Words of Christ IS A GRACE. They don't comprehend that TIME IS SHORT and the way is difficult, the door of salvation slowly but surely closing as they simply stand and argue about it.
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"As the unbelieving Jews, being hardened in their infidelity, were greatly irritated by the actions and discourses of the day, and would not be awakened to conviction, Jesus left them and departed thence to a retired place."
A thought about humility: "you won't be irritated by the sand in your shoe if you're already walking barefoot in the dust."
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What always scares me about such passages is how Jesus doesn't beg anyone to listen. If He is ignored, He will simply turn and leave.
Mind you, and don't forget, He gave them PLENTY of chances to listen & convert, with increasingly warning language.
JESUS doesn't want to leave; the unbelieving people just don't want Jesus!
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"They were now in a manner utterly incapable of believing, because, by the just judgment of God for their obstinacy and wilful resistance of the truth, they were, at length, so left to the hardness of their hearts, that neither the miracles nor the doctrines of our Lord could make any impression upon them... God permitted them to grow more and more prejudiced against the gospel, namely, by withdrawing from them His abused grace."
I know a previous commentator said almost exactly this, but the variation in phrasing, however slight, is notable.
1) We CHOOSE to harden our hearts. They never start out that way. It's like atherosclerosis, or pulmonary fibrosis-- the daily choices we make all have consequences in our body, often unseen, and just as often dangerous. Our sins are like that-- like scar tissue, or like plaque buildup. They add up, and cannot be removed by human means. They
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and just as irreversibly, lethally damaging without critical medical intervention-- which, in the soul's case, is the grace of God, given through CHRIST, the DIVINE PHYSICIAN.
2) Abuse that grace and God will withdraw it. It's that simple and that terrnosedive. If you skip your chemo appointments because you're convinced you'll "be fine," you can heal yourself, the treatment is just a ruse for profit anyway... then don't blame the doctor if your condition nosedives.
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3)...


"Isaiah uttered these remarkable words (ch.6), when, in a vision, he saw the glory of the Son of God, and the manifestations which He was to make of the divine counsels; and He described the effect which those manifestations would have upon His hearers-- for which reason they are a prophetical description of the men of the age in which Jesus lived."
Oh WOW I never saw the immediate connection! Jesus IS the Son of God, unchanging and eternal-- Who He Was in Isaiah's vision is EXACTLY WHO HE WAS in His Incarnation. For Him to speak a prophecy essentially ABOUT HIMSELF, fulfilled IN His OWN Incarnate lifespan, is amazing-- for those years were iconic years, typical years, times of fulfilling the past and declaring the future, all by the eternal "Present" of God With Us.
Christ told Isaiah to herald what He, as Man, would experience in the future-- which Isaiah prefigured as a Prophet, as all prophets were echoes of Christ.
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"As the perfections of the Father are displayed in Christ, he that shuts his eyes against Christ, excludes the only means of being brought to the true knowledge of the Father."
This little snippet of dogma always leaves me awestruck.
1) God the Father is perfect in all things-- in holiness, in power, in wisdom, in justice, in mercy, in love... and ALL of those perfections are MADE VISIBLE IN THE PERSON OF CHRIST JESUS. Jesus IS all of those perfections, in a very real sense; He doesn't just "display" them, they are HIS PERFECTIONS TOO, inasmuch as He is also (perfectly) God!!
2) Because God is Spirit, the Person of God the Father is "invisible to the eye"-- as all the truest things are-- and therefore the ONLY way for humans to "know God AS a Person," so to speak, not just as "the force" or "the universe" or some other impersonal power, is THROUGH CHRIST, Who is GOD MADE VISIBLE.
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3) ALL OTHER "KNOWLEDGE OF GOD" IS A LIE.
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""For I have not spoken of Myself"-- "not on My own motion, or on any precarious conclusions, drawn from principles divinely taught; but the Father which sent Me, He gave Me a commandment..." Christ, as Son of man, did not speak that which was of human device or contrivance; and, as Son of God, He did not act separately from, but in perfect union with, His eternal Father... Christ spake by the Holy Spirit at all times."
This is really essential to understand about Christ, in order to have proper faith in Him. Yes, He "became man," but He was ALWAYS IN UNION WITH GOD AS A MAN. That is even greater than how Adam was supposed to live-- He lived with God in perfect harmony before the fall, but he was never in personal union with God! BUT such intimate relationship is is how WE are CALLED TO LIVE, not only IN and THROUGH but also WITH the NEW Adam, JESUS CHRIST!
This is a tiny yet tremendous glimpse at the "new sanctification" Christians are being called to in these last days. This is more than obedience, more than cooperation, more than harmony. God wants UNITY OF PERSONS. God wants each individual believer, in OUR humanity, to be so completely united to His Will that WE "speak (and act) in the Holy Spirit at all times"-- and to accomplish this, He wants us to be ONE WITH CHRIST, our hearts completely united with His, even as Mary's is, even while we live on this earth.
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...This is ALSO why you MUST LISTEN TO JESUS, and NEVER TO ME.
All my blathering is just "precarious conclusions" about His truly divine teaching, silly mortal thoughts of my own motion. I am no voice for the Spirit. I am no teacher. I am a fool, with no authority, no wisdom, no common sense, no commandment to do anything except to obey the only One worth listening to.
I know nothing. I am nothing. Christ is all. Listen to Him.