102223

[prismaticbleed]

Church so SUPER BUSY

Morning email for birthday funds!

Beautiful hymns at Mass, and IN MY RANGE. Thank You God. I was able to pour out my all for Him.
I sincerely hope my service had a "good impression" on the CCD kids, to show them that someone "like them" was serving the Lord. I hope that's not proud to hope for. I just care deeply for the faith lives of the youth, and I want them to feel represented in the Church they are entering, however I can, because I didn't, and often still don't. But God loves me and I love Him more and more every day, by His Grace alone, despite my stupidity & weakness. I just want so badly for faith flourish in these kids; even if i never see it, i still want to help our Lord plant the seeds.

WORLD MISSION SUNDAY TALK!
STUNNED. Literally brought to tears several times.

...I keep getting moved to tears during prayer now, too, especially in Universalis hours. I see connections now, between psalm and Gospel, between multiple readings, between what I'm reading and what daily life has brought me. The "synchronicity" is so rich, yet quiet. It's different from the pagan-days, but I know it's still God nudging my attention to Him working. It's a "still small voice" now, in expansive truth, not a loud and random sign with no deeper spiritual weight-- I couldn't perceive any such depth back then. I was still lost, so the Spirit's voice was a loud and sudden call to attention. Now that He knows I'm listening better, honestly applying myself as a student, He can talk to me. It's so humbling, so wonderful, to feel Him speaking to me now as someone He knows by name.
I'm so full of love for God. It's small, pitiably small, compared to what it should be, of course... but it's holographic nevertheless, just like Christ Who IS this Love. I'm still feeling real love, real honest charity, if only for a moment. I must treasure and cultivate it with all the grace I've got. God will give me what I need as I need it. He makes the roses grow. I'm just so grateful to finally be a garden.


Guided prayer thought=
God CREATED time, and space, and everything in it, but HE EXISTED BEFORE & BEYOND. Therefore everything that is EXISTED IN HIM before it was Spoken into being. In God, in His Essence, is all the beauty and wonder and power in the cosmos. The color of a hummingbird, the scent of an iris, the majesty of a nebula, the elegance of an aurora, everything. Subatomic particles and galaxies both. ALL of it somehow IS DEFINED BY HIM.
Why did He create it? Because Life must perpetuate itself. Why did He create us? Because Love must give of itself.
The Trinity CHOSE to share their inherent & invincible joy with us created things. They wanted to give that wonder and awe to us, we who could never even imagine what God always knows and is and does.
It's just... so humbling and so staggeringly beautiful. God chose to create us, everything, out of pure Divine Love... so that we could return love for love. There is no nobler reason for existence.

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VOTD= HUGE and informative vid on HOPE in Scripture, both Hebrew & Greek = WAITING & TENSE EXPECTATION based on the CHARACTER OF GOD-- and therefore on JESUS CHRIST, WHO IS OUR LIVING HOPE!!!
⭐BIBLICAL HOPE IS NOT OPTIMISM!!!!!  (TILLY PAY ATTENTION!!!)
"...Optimism distorts the way we hope for a new future... Optimism is often impersonal and a stranger to our emotions, so it relies on circumstances as a compass. Biblical hope is different because it is a choice to rely on a Person (Jesus), not our circumstances... Unlike optimism, which only measures the surface, Biblical hope goes deep to ask that Jesus would meet us IN our sadness or anticipation, [EVEN IF THEY DON'T CHANGE]."
"Optimism is about choosing to see, in any situation, how things might work out for the best.  But Biblical hope is not based on circumstances. In fact, people in the Bible often recognize that there's NO evidence things will get better, but you choose hope anyway."
⭐THIS IS EXACTLY THE BIGGEST AND DEADLIEST CONFLICT WE HAVE WITH THE SOCIAL SUBSYSTEM AND THE THRISKEFONI!!!
...

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Back to Matthew Henry, hopefully I won't get distracted by ranting about everything the man says. I need to be discerning, and ONLY type about what STRIKES me, especially in a convicting way. I am NOT writing a "supplemental commentary" on his remarks. Thats not the point, and some "typing level" Thriskefoni apparently thinks that IS the goal. No ma'am, it's not. That misses the ENTIRE POINT. The only reason we even started this typing effort on the faithpastes was so we TRULY GROW IN OUR UNDERSTANDING OF OUR RELIGIOUS FAITH, ESPECIALLY OF THE PERSON OF JESUS. Our typing must be an outpouring of an inspired and humble heart, for the sake of expressing gratitude and love for what we are actively learning with an open and teachable spirit. This is NOT a proud "showing off of our own insights". No. This is to glorify God alone.
If we start rambling, STOP. Don't feed that mental state. If it is forced or exhausting, STOP. That's not the Holy Spirit. If you start feeling smug or self-satisfied, STOP. That means you're speaking garbage, no matter how much gold spraypaint you gaud it with.
Lord guide us today and always. Please, put our heart back in its proper place-- nailed to the foot of the Cross.
I don't know why that is still so true. We need to type about that too, honestly. But that's where we need to be anchored, at the very heart of things.
Jesus, keep us there with You today.


"They came to see Lazarus and Christ together, which was a very inviting sight. Some came... only for the gratifying of their curiosity, that they might say "they had seen a man who had been dead and buried, and yet lived again!"; so that Lazarus served for a show... [such foolish men] spent their time in telling and hearing new things. Perhaps some came to put curious questions to Lazarus about the state of the dead, to ask "what news from the other world"... But if any came on this errand it is probable that Lazarus was silent, and gave them no account of his voyage; at least, the Scripture is silent, and gives us no account of it; and we must not covet to be wise above what is written. But our Lord Jesus was present, Who was a much fitter Person for them to apply to than Lazarus; for if we hear not Moses and the prophets, Christ and the apostles, if we heed not what they tell us concerning another world, neither should we be persuaded though Lazarus rose from the dead! We have a more sure word of prophecy."
A few solid warnings here.
Curiosity is not a virtue. Wonder is. Curiosity is motivated by a subtle pride, seeking entertainment & education both for its own sake of acquisition. Curiosity likes to boast of its special honors & allegedly exclusive knowledge. Curiosity meets a mystery and wants to conquer it, to take it apart and comprehend it, to attain such a privilege of knowing what was once unknown and still was to most. Curiosity kills more than just cats. It kills humility, it kills faith, it kills reverence, it kills mystery, it kills wonder. Perhaps I'm being harsh, but for myself at least, it is needed. I know what curious Kakofoni can do. I know what amoral lengths a curious mind is willing to go to when it's itchy enough. For me, Curiosity is the dissecter, the analyzer, ultimately the obsessed. Curiosity is not content with unknowing, with the unseen, with the unexplained-- because it feels a terrible void in itself that it wants filled. It comes face to face with something it cannot parse and it panics. It must gain the upper hand somehow. Curiosity hears that a dead man has been raised from the dead and it must see him with its own eyes, it must investigate this claim, it cannot sit with the tension of the unverified inexplicable. It will not stop wondering until it knows, whatever it can, for sure.

Rambling. It's all garbage.

They did not see Lazarus as a person. They saw him as a sideshow.
If we view miracles as entertainment, as party tricks, as things exciting to our eyes and imaginations, then we do not deserve to see any miracles, and indeed their truths will be hidden from us.
Those who saw Lazarus as a roadside attraction were cutting his very wondrous existence off from the sole Divine reason for it. They saw the effect and disregarded the cause. Jesus was RIGHT THERE, and they paid Him no heed.
...

Curiosity's great desire is to intellectually conquer. It wants that position of educated power. It wants to stand smug and satisfied on the solid high ground of knowing.
"Yes, I have heard it. I have seen it. I know it. I can confirm it as true."
And then what? Where does God fit into your knowledge?

Many came seeking arcane knowledge. More Curiosity. They wanted to know what they had no right, no reason, to know.
Death is supposed to be a mystery. The afterlife is not meant to be known before it is entered. Mortal minds have neither capacity nor qualifications to demand facts about the supernatural facts of life or death. We are not gods-- we are not God; do we try to emulate the devil?? Why do we want to know? Why can we not trust the Creator even now?
Why do we want to see beyond and yet remain here? Do we think about the implications of such knowledge, should we get it? Do we want to damn ourselves like the fallen angels, seeking their fatal liberation from both doubt and subservience?
Why do we seek after ghosts and demons and spirits beyond? What do we hope to gain? Is it just sheer stupid Curiosity, working its malignant magic in minds that claim themselves arrogantly justified by its very insistences?
...

"Scripture is silent," therefore we must not let Curiosity defile her either. We must not force Scripture to answer us, or put words in her mouth, when God has not told her to speak.
That hit me hard. I fear that I do that-- I study too much, seeking explanations and expositions on every verse, as if the Word alone was insufficient, as if it needed human approval or validation!
Do not misunderstand, faithful commentary is still pious and helpful, but it is supplemental. It responds TO Scripture, without seeking or claiming any authority of its own. All good and true commentary is ultimately a love-letter to God, in reply to His Own ineffable Words. It is an unfolding of the infinite beauty of the Bible, a revelation of still further depths of fathomless Truth, without ever even suggesting that it KNOWS those Mysteries authoritatively. It cannot. No man can. Curiosity destroys Faith because it doesn't believe what it cannot see. It has it backwards.
I need to stop.
Jesus is the only Answer we need.


"[The religious party] had done all they could to alienate the people from Him, and exasperate them against Him, and yet [even] their admirers were so overcome by the convincing evidence of Christ's miracles that they went away from the interest and party of the priests, went off from obedience to their tyranny, and believed on Jesus; and it was by reason of Lazarus; his resurrection put life into their faith, and convinced them that this Jesus was undoubtedly the Messiah, and had life in Himself, and power to give life. This miracle confirmed them in the belief of His other miracles... what was impossible to Him that could raise the dead?"
THIS IS WHY CONVERTS AND REVERTS NEED A VOICE IN THE CHURCH. OUR TESTIMONY IS POWERFUL FOR GOD, BY GOD.
When someone who once was dead, dead in sin, hopelessly dead and rotting, corpse ravaged beyond recognition by hell's diseases or wars or abuses, and you SAW their tomb, you SAW them a lifeless husk going down into the grave-- when such a man is suddenly unearthed and breathing, alive and whole before you, smiling with a joy theretofore unknown and alien to their wretched soul, and that very miracle of a man standing arm in arm with Jesus, singing His Name, praising His Mercy, proclaiming His Love-- would that not revitalize your faith in turn? Such desperately wounded and long-lost souls are the canvases on which Jesus Christ paints His most stunning masterpieces. Where mortal men see only a scorched-black waste, Jesus sees the perfect basecoat for His gorgeous hues of hope and holiness to sparkle upon.
Why are our voices so quiet in our communities? Are we muting ourselves? Are we ignoring the colors Christ blessed us with, morbidly obsessed with what we know is beneath it? Is that how we treat God's forgiveness-- as a topcoat? Do we devalue His omnipotent Love so rudely? Drop the literalism. Drop the need to understand. His "paints" soak into the soul, you realize. Jesus does not color with created things. He is Life and Light and Love, and like the Shroud of Turin, you're never getting that Image out of your heartstrings. You were dead, man, you were a gutless nightmare and instead of leaving you to the worms Jesus called your name and took your hand and gave you LIFE. Did you seriously think you could ever be the same afterwards? Take another look. There's nothing under the paint anymore. That color IS your canvas now.


"God will have Lazarus to live by miracle, and they will have him to die by malice. They cry, "Away with such a fellow, it is not fit he should live," when God had so lately sent him back to the earth, declaring it highly fit he should live; what was this [defiance] but walking contrary to God? ... One would think that they should rather have consulted how they might have joined in friendship with Lazarus and his family, and by their mediation have reconciled themselves to this Jesus whom they had persecuted; but the god of this world had blinded their minds."
...In light of the previous comment... how terribly often do we Christians even, "resist" God's saving the lives of those we deem unworthy? Are we so easily the Prodigal's brother?
I have actually heard people say that they would not want to go to heaven if "their estranged sister" or "that evil politician" or "that person who raped me" was somehow there as well, by the Sovereign Mercy of God and said "unworthy" soul's response to it.
But we treat people just as hopelessly on earth, if they convert sooner! Dare they walk into MY church? "Away with such a fellow, it is not fit he should live"?
...
Do we forget Who raised such a one from the dead? Do you question His motives, His special love? Do you not realize that in hating Lazarus resurrected you hate Christ the Resurrection?


"[Not] the inhabitants of Jerusalem, but the country people that came from remote parts, [were who came] to worship at the feast; the nearer the temple of the Lord, the further from the Lord of the temple."
I read this and immediately thought, "the temple is our body." The friendlier we are with our body, with our senses and whims and earthly desires-- the more time we spend exalting and entertaining it, flaunting and feeding it-- the further away we will be from the TRUE Lord OF that Temple, because we will have evicted Him, and set up our own idol thrones.
The people "of the city"-- those who are smothered in modern culture and technology and convenience-- are often so crammed full of such superfluity that there's simply no room in their hearts to do more than shove Jesus into a corner somewhere. But those who live "in the remote parts", those who are called "country people" with perhaps a note of disdain-- they live with their hopes and joys set on God. The less distraction we have from vain inventions, the fewer fleeting fads and follies we are exposed to, the more clearly we can see and hear God in His own Creation, and the more keenly aware we are of our own smallness and dependence on Him.
...


"They were not the rulers, nor the great men, that went out to meet Christ, but the commonalty; some would have called them a mob, a rabble: but Christ has chosen the weak and foolish things (1 Corinthians 1:27), and is honoured more by the multitude than by the magnificence of His followers; for He values men by their souls, not their [earthly] names and [worldly] titles of honour."
As a very weak & very foolish thing, with no good name or respectable title, who has nevertheless been called to be a Christian, this is so consoling to my poor soul it aches.
I was a bit befuddled by "multitude over magnificence," then I realized I had the wrong idea. Christ is not honored by the faith of a King or President any more than He is honored by the faith of a homeless child or a disabled widow. The utterly helpless stand equal with the monoliths of power as far as Christ is concerned-- for ultimately all Power is God's. Likewise, the man with the highest IQ and multiple degrees is equal to the mentally disabled man who cannot even speak. All trophies, all awards, all history books and museum displays, all worldly "honors" mean absolutely nothing to Christ, and bring Him no honor-- only faith working through love means anything in heaven. So that speaks for magnificence.
But multitude? Christ isn't honored by empty conversions either. He isn't counting sheer numbers. "Many are called, few are chosen." Christ DOES thirst for ALL souls, but He will not force or compel a single one to respond to His Loving call. Neither can we, although sometimes we shamefully do try. Those are the "multitudes" that don't honor Him-- all the "faithless faithful" who are only in church because their parents dragged them there, or because their neighbors would gossip otherwise, or because they like the after-service socialization... those who bear His Name only on their uniform, but not on their hearts, as it were. True, some may eventually convert in truth, but most will not, if current polls mean anything. Faith cannot be forced. Cold numbers do not honor God. But there IS a multitude that DOES bring Him the greatest honor, and that is the multitude of faith-- the "great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language," who will all stand together-- royalty and refugee, genius and illiterate, respected and rejected-- all will be united in their faith & love & salvation before the Heavenly Throne and the Lamb, praising and honoring Him forever.


"Those that have a true value and veneration for Christ will neither be ashamed nor afraid to own him before men in any instance whereby they may do Him honour."
This actually requires humility of discernment. Some folks boast almost tastelessly of their belief in Christ, making a show of it, but all it actually does is draw attention to themselves. It isn't preaching Christ as the Son of God and Son of Man; it isn't living out His Gospel in practical charity. It's just a megaphone shout of "I love Jesus!" "Proud to be Christian!" "One Nation Under God!" etc. effectively as a slogan. Even if it comes from an honest heart, that sort of flaunting will eventually erode the roots, and is not the way to win any souls in earnest. Why? Because the focus in actually on your faith, not Who you have faith IN. The honor is going to YOU, showing off your devotion, polishing your reputation as a believer.
Also, "taking the initiative to declare Him" in such a manner-- usually in a publicly frequented area, with no risk to health or life, but a definite probability of inciting irritable haters-- doesn't really risk "shame," as the sort of personality that would make such a show likely considers "public shaming" a badge of honor. But I'm being too unkind. Such staunchness is admirable. To WANT to declare one's love for Jesus, or status as a Christian, is a grace and I pray that their zeal is preserved & increased. But such virtues always run the risk of being tempted into vices, because the devil hates to see us fallen humans turning to Christ.
I'm being so judgmental. I am so sorry.
It just... I don't understand "American religious pride." It seems too loud, too brazen, too irreverent even. People put Jesus on coffee mugs and crew socks and throwaway notepads, and do they genuinely believe that is evidence of fervent faith? Is it? It strikes me as borderline blasphemy. Faith is not decorative. Jesus is not your mascot, your homeboy, or your company logo. Christ should NEVER be commercialized. THAT is the vibe I get from the ostentatious "owning Him before men" that I see in my country. It feels... incomplete, insincere, somehow.
A question is demanded of me, then. "What sort of "owning Christ," then, in your opinion, WOULD do Him honor?" All I can do is point back to the quote. When would you be afraid to do so? When would you be shamed if you did so? Shame is harder for many in the previous example cases to imagine, I think, and thank God-- may it always be so. They grew up Christian, in a Christian family, in a Christian town, and they are living a glimpse of heaven in that respect. The very idea of being ashamed of their faith makes no sense. But another believer grew up atheist, or pagan, or Muslim, or Hindu, and to declare Christ would mean family rejection or disownment, community ostracization or excommunication, even a real risk of torment, torture, or death, depending on the opposing anti-Christian zeal. THAT is when faith is proven, by fire.
But it's an extreme example. What about when your faith is deemed irrational, delusional, crazy even? What if you knew that being openly Christian would mean losing your job, your friends, your housing, your reputation, your status, your respect? What if owning Christ meant YOU had to "disown" certain friends, business partnerships, hobbies, possessions, dreams, beliefs? What if saying "I love Jesus" meant you would have to say "I hate what I used to love in the world?" Or even yet-- "I hate who I am without Him?" Would you go to confession and own the shame of admitting to the worst sins you can remember, without trying to justify or sugarcoat them? Would you face the fear of really reading those hard parts of the Bible that you know are talking about your sins? Would you own the shame of admitting to living in opposition to Church Doctrine, and the fear of cold-turkey converting to a new way of living in proper Christian morality? Because if we DO have a true value & veneration for Christ, then we won't count the cost of love and we WILL SAY YES to ALL those crosses of circumstance.
THAT'S the daily warfare we must fight for Christ. THAT is what does Him honor. What else could do Him due honor, He Who is God? Only LOVE, for love is of God, and love is self-sacrifice, for Love is the Cross.

Ah, but I am justly chastened.
"Those who wish well to Christ's kingdom should be forward to proclaim what they know that may redound to His honour."
There absolutely is a time and place for open and free proclamation of religion-- when we are SPEAKING ABOUT CHRIST, and not our own opinions or feelings of Him, but our KNOWLEDGE of Him through SCRIPTURE.
Yes, there is always a good and vital place for personal testimony, and such MUST be given when the chance arrives. But as for lifting up one's voice in public? As for spontaneous exclamation? That should NEVER be about "I, me, or my." It should ONLY BE ABOUT THE KNOWLEDGE OF CHRIST given to us in TRUTH in Scripture. Everything else is fallible and prone to confusion, even our own best intentions. But the Word of God is unerring, and every Word is for our salvation! Such Divine Truth DESERVES to be shouted in the streets.