091023

Sep. 10th, 2023 09:41 pm
prismaticbleed: (amecry)
[personal profile] prismaticbleed
 

EXHAUSTING flat nightmare night.
Ended with a poignantly touching moment with grandma though.

Church! Blood sugar stayed quite stable but we were SO TIRED.
Prayed for humility to sing well for God alone.
Lovely songs today, sang both low & high notes well, thank You God
Also grandma's song greeted us twice. Smiled at that.
It IS grandparent's day!!!

Jade drive home
Got us SO tangled up
MOM GOSSIP. Felt SO WRONG.

COULD NOT STOP CRYING FROM UNBEARABLE GUILT
"I was mean to my mom"!!!
MUST make reparation AND CONFESS ASAP-- to priest AND FAMILY!!!! Must be accountable so we DON'T EVER GOSSIP AGAIN

...

Basilica homily
BEST ACCENT MONSIGNOR
Mimic devotional "pop quiz" habit, helps a LOT actually

St Egwin church THANKS MIMIC! Also Google maps haha
Genuinely commended his growing zeal for his new faith, however subtly it shows. He said "thank you for inviting me into it"
Jay= "Thank the Holy Spirit for giving me the courage to cross myself when I had a cephalopod riding shotgun"

...

Saying thoughts, resolutions, confessions, etc. OUT LOUD gives them power AND REVEALS WHO CAN SAY THEM!!!!
Often, something can be true INSIDE but NO ONE OUTSIDE can agree with it. THAT IS HUGE. It reveals MORAL CONFLICT between somafoni & typical nousfoni, and therefore BEHAVIORAL DISCREPANCY. This obviously causes a LOT OF PROBLEMS.
 

ANOTHER huge panic attack after breakfast, with notable pain & reflux. Haven't had this since the hospital. Is it because of our schedule change? Is it the protein increase? Is it our markedly worse stress levels & lack of sleep??

Nevertheless SO MUCH LEAGUE LOVE whole biking & listening to FFXIII OST (forever a classic). Touched to the heart; deeply moved. Praying that God lets us continue to work on them.
BTW NOT SURE IF "WORDJUMPERS" IS CORRECTLY ESTABLISHED. Feeling out PROTAGONIST RESONANCES!!!!!

Dinner a nervous wreck again. Always feel rushed.
Mom left off some food, God bless her. Not much but it'll help significantly as we're almost out of everything and this was pure caring generosity on her part.
Still. We PANIC when we have to eat "new" and/or "unlabeled" foods-- for both allergy fear, & unpredictable nutrition. Why are we still so paranoid. It's SHAKING fear. We legit want to vomit from terror at the thought of eating cauliflower. WHY.

FROST* fondness this evening. browsing their FB vids, treasuring the music.
Got TWO music recommendations from Jem! Enjoying these new sounds; really gotta look into more of his inspirations.
Also just randomly discovered... Icelandic 80s tunes?? Hey, the more eclectic my Spotify likes are, the better.



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