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[prismaticbleed]

 
Last night compline DEATH REALIZATION

Daily devotional FEAR IS LAZINESS

BK prep hell
So depressed


Lynne commenting how Scripture refers "both back and towards itself"
Mimic said that God probably sees it all happening at once; Barry saying maybe its more like an author? The beginning & the ending are set in GOD: no matter what happens in between (BY FREE WILL), in the end, His love & light are victorious and HE orchestrates the details of the narrative towards that Ineffable purpose
Jewel expounding on this

CHURCH RUN!!!!!!!!
Homily about GRACE & THE CROSS ARE INTRINSICALLY ENTWINED= you can't GET grace if you won't accept the OPPORTUNITY for grace, which is HUMILITY & SUFFERING WITH CHRIST. "God's power is made perfect in our weakness"

Took a little bit of time to go through some computer files, Clean up phone and find those pictures of Grandma
THERE WAS A TINY MOVIE???? 🥺

Laurie reading P. C. Ainsworth's scathing homily = THIS IS HER TRUE CHARACTER THAT WE LOST!!! REMEMBER THE CANNON DAYS!!!!
She's being TOO SOCIAL. She was meant to give MORAL CORRECTION & HARD TRUTHS, not generic daily guidance! BUT HER JOB IS INSIDE, and when we're NOT inside, her job gets MANGLED by being FORCED INTO AN OUTSIDE CONTEXT, and our conscience rots.
We NEED to spend time inside our soul or it will die.

"Do you love the sheep?"
"I don't love them YET; I don't love them ENOUGH," etc.
"Don't give me that. Don't try to soften the sharp edges. Drop the modifiers and admit the root of the real problem."
THEN "Would you die for them if Christ asked you to?""
Someone responded like, "who are the sheep" or "what does it mean to love" etc.
"That's besides the point. The point is, Christ ASKED YOU TO. Your answer should AUTOMATICALLY be YES. Don't go asking for details, because they don't matter."
Etc.

This is HAUNTING me=
"The spontaneous things in life have the longest history. The thing that responds to the spur of the moment is the habit of the years. Half the value of character-building would be swept away if it were not a fact that a man is gloriously or shamefully himself in the moment when he must act without deliberation... A brave shepherd may make a tactical error, but only a hireling runs away from a wolf. We talk about a man rising to an occasion, but in the last deep truth of things that is a shallow and misleading phrase. No man ever rose to an occasion. If he meets the great occasion and deals with it as it should be dealt with, it is because he is living all the while on the level of that occasion."
In my dreams, when I look female (ESPECIALLY like the past), I am ALWAYS A SELFISH & CRUEL COWARD.
THAT IS HORRIFICALLY DISTURBING.
Pray about this-- then GO INSIDE AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!!