UPMC journal 101622

[prismaticbleed]

+ In a strange way, we're "trying too hard" to recover? We're "pushing aside" our OWN unique needs & skills, and trying to "force" ones that HARM/ HINDER us "just because" they're on a worksheet or something. Even with meal planning, we're making things too much about "meeting performance expectations" and NOT working within the VALID LIMITS of budget/ storage/ resources/ options we realistically have. In our heart-- and EMPHASIS on the "our"-- WE KNOW what is healthy vs unhealthy coping, what is disordered vs beneficial behavior. We DO have a good sense of conscience and we DO want to live a full, colorful, vibrant, creative life; we DO want to honor and love and properly manage ALL our emotions, AND most importantly, the Nousfoni whose hearts are bound to them. Recovery is about US, as a UNITED WHOLE. We all need to be recognized, respected, and INVOLVED in this process-- in this LIFE. That's the only way we CAN be truly healthy & healed... because it's the ONLY way we CAN live in LOVE.
...I must be blunt and admit that trying to be religious WITHOUT involving my/ our WHOLE SELF ended up becoming "forced" and almost suicidal in too many ways. I couldn't love GOD as He deserves-- as He wants & needs-- without that love coming from my WHOLE HEART. It's the same thing with recovery. We ALL contributed to it with all our pain & trauma & broken coping skills & addictions & God only knows what else... but, as all D.I.D. Systems do, we ONLY acted/ reacted in those ways because at some point, in some way, IT KEPT US ALIVE. Now, then, to TRULY LIVE, we MUST CHANGE TOGETHER. We ALL forgive each other. We all love each other. We know that, now. It's the core of us, pun intended. So we CAN grow, all of us, into newness & light. But we WON'T BE ABLE TO IF WE KEEP TRYING TO SHOVE OURSELVES, AND OUR RECOVERY PROCESS, INTO A "BOX" OR "NORMAL TEMPLATE." No way!! YES the workbooks ARE helpful AND accurate, BUT THEY even emphasize that EVERYONE'S MIND IS UNIQUE AND SO IS THEIR RECOVERY!! So even though there ARE key skills & basic education that DO help everyone, those tools & that knowledge MUST BE PERSONALLY UNDERSTOOD & APPLIED, ACCORDING TO WHAT WORKS FOR THAT PERSON'S UNIQUE LIFE & SITUATION. That includes us!! And THANK GOD!! So, by His Grace & with His help, LET'S RECOVER, TOGETHER.