jan 25 2015
Jan. 25th, 2015 09:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
prismaticbleedI am devastatingly depressed right now. It's the sort of bone-deep tired sorrow that hollows you out too much to cry or speak or move. I don't even have the strength to sleep.
I don't even know what day it is. Anaesthesia "resets" are terribly disorienting; I still think it's the day of surgery, and haven't quite remembered what "daily life" is like yet. Which gives me a fantastic opportunity to redefine things, as long as I stop getting sucked into old programmed patterns.
…
I'm listening to "The Garden" by Unitopia and I am practically sobbing; it's gorgeous and it sounds just like headspace. (The lyrics are worse.)
God I miss them. I love them. I am so glad we're back in therapy.
Typecode work is so much easier when I start shadowing monsters and doing it intuitively. "What does it feel like to be a Shadow-core, as opposed to a Specter-core?" And I get it, in a way I cannot if I'm trying to reason it out. It's cool, and it helps immensely.
I figured out the rough resonances for… 136 species, today. Then my brain gave out from fatigue, haha.
(ended)
