021113

[prismaticbleed]

 

 

oh god i do not feel good.

i think my ignored medical conditions have caught up with me

i feel like vomiting, i cant think straight, i'm dizzy, i'm weak.
i'm burning up on the inside and my stomach is full of pain.
no fever though, i look fine, not even shaking today.

god if youre going to take me home then please do so soon.

last nights crushing headache was frightening enough
the heart palpitations when i try to sleep are frightening enough
the constant lightheadedness and fatigue is frightening enough

please, if i'm going to die then please let it happen soon.


saw a new therapist today for 50 minutes, guess what happened.
apparently i'm too poor to get treatment haha
i felt awful as he looked close to tears at the end?? it was weird
at least i did have the guts to be honest with him about the abuse.
so thats a big step forwards for me.
anyway he recognized that my financial and home situations are not cool man
and he gave me a few other options that might help in the meantime
but he said i definitely need once-a-week treatment
i just don't know how we'd afford it.

god please let this work out somehow,
i don't know how much longer i can keep counting the days.

i still feel so sick it's ridiculous
i want to sleep so badly but i have homework to finish
i dont want to fail another semester because of my stupid problems

what do i do.

god what do i do?