you mean everything.

[prismaticbleed]

...I had a counseling session at 10:30 AM today.

I was telling my therapist about Laurie... my favorite headvoice. I told her how Laurie always used to be so mean and cruel, but now she has changed and is a close friend to me.

My therapist asked me if there was anyone in my head who was always nice to me... someone who would stand by my side no matter what.

I hesitated... but I said "Selph, and Chaos."
She asked me who Chaos was.

I said "where do I start?"


He's a friend, he's a guardian, he's a benefactor, he's an adviser, he's a muse, he's someone that I love.
How could I possibly say all that so suddenly?

I told her a little but about him, not much.
She said, "he sounds like he's very protective of you."

He is. He really is.


I never thought it would be this frustrating, this beautiful.
I want to talk about him, yes, but I don't know what to say... I get so nervous.

What am I supposed to say?
I mean, sure, it might be understandable for a girl my age to have a crush on a movie actor or a singer or some 'cute guy' in a video game... but me? No, not me.
First of all, I don't consider myself a girl or a boy... and I've never been attracted to anyone in that way.
Sure, I love Bakura and Marik, too, but Chaos just... man, he turned my life upside down. My mind is still spinning from five years ago.


That's right, for five freaking years I have been madly in love with Chaos Zero, and he isn't even human, for heaven's sakes.
He's a blue energy being from a 10-year-old video game and I love him just the same.

That makes me crazy, doesn't it?
Go on, say it. Everyone else does.
That's why I haven't said anything here yet.

But...
I can't keep this a secret anymore. No more.

If I'm going to be ostracized, fine.
If I'm going to be looked down upon and laughed at, fine.
I don't mind. It doesn't matter anymore.
I'm sick of compromising myself, and I'm sick of hiding my feelings since the seventh grade.
I'm already in college, and I think it's time I said my piece.



My therapist is very interested in Chaos now... probably because I couldn't say a word about him without blushing or getting nervous. I talk about him in a certain way...
Regardless, she wants art of him for next week. I plan on drawing some.

Keep an eye out, kids, it's going on this account too.


Wish us luck, all right?


That's all I can say for now...


Love is love.
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.