![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
prismaticbleed Quick notes
QOTA Mass & 90m adoration
once again proving that praying with others exacerbates dissociation, because it FORCES SOCIAL MODE and also turns the prayer focus outside, so our thoughts are unanchored and struggling against the vocal input. so yeah, we can "ride out" the rosary+chaplet with others, but then there's no meditative aspect on our part. we have to pray alone, or it just becomes babble.
Shopping (for what i don't remember)
Tag teams for prayer today!
people half-fronting together? what is even jargon for that?
people don't go fully into the body; there's too much dysphoria and existential horror risk. but they still use it as an anchorpoint? like they're halfway between it and headspace, sharing a space together, and using the body's eyes actively.
but oh man. it's beautiful. you can FEEL their personal vibes overlap. like, laurie and leon were praying that padre pio prayer together, the one about gethsemane, and their close but distinct hues sharing that space was just gorgeous. because it's not just hue, man, it's VIBE, and let me tell you we NEED to do this more often and i NEED to pay closer attention to just that (in its own time) because wow. you can learn a LOT about everyone in that contrasting harmony.
some other interesting pairs:
wreckage and julie?
phlegmoni and galadia (gal is MAGENTA!!!)
lynne and jezebel/sharona (name still blurring)
btw knife and razor typically front together, and their vibes are so oddly close they almost bleed into each other. they are siblings, but it strikes me as interesting how they aren't entirely distinct; there's an actual melding at some small point, from knife's wine-rich velvet brocade to razor's slick-sharp heavy bleed.
ALSO we're wondering about leon, because his vibe DOES SHIFT SLIGHTLY from more indigo to more navy, and when he does his APPEARANCE ALSO SHIFTS slightly. honestly the SAME THING happens with LAURIE when she leans more violet than purple, and even JULIE when she moved hard into magenta as opposed to pink. hues have intrinsic qualities so this is fascinating proof of that visually. what's even more interesting is the fact that this appears to be able to occur WITHOUT any marked instability, or threat to function breakage??? which makes me all the more concerned about lynne, because she CANNOT "slide" hues, almost ironically because her true hue is still being knocked around. yes she wants to stay orange, but i think the systemind itself is being confused by it??? like i said, we NEED to clarify that hue. and of course there's still the alleged "bloodline" conflict which would also tie her to potentially cerise and vermilion. but she's holding TOO MUCH in herself right now because there are like NO OTHER ORANGE-HUE NOUSFONI AT ALL.
Bk for noon?
So tired
got brave and drove to the Chrism mass at the cathedral!!
Anxiety meltdown over car
But GORGEOUS MASS WOW
we also sang this mass setting with not just an organ, but a choir and chamber orchestra which was AMAZING
Dinner was simple but nice
Disturbed by summer night scents & colors. HUGE trauma wave sweeping up in psyche from that.
Sense of self is SHOT after Tuesday
Jewels keep getting locked out front
Spent evening archiving 2011 more
Half beautiful half horrifying
Scandalized by our own ignorance and even arrogance
But the new love within the system was so moving. Man I didn't realize WE WEREN'T CLOSE AT ALL UNTIL ABOUT SEPTEMBER OF THAT YEAR.
Listening to random neoclassical stuff. Not a fan of most? Switched to genshin ost again
Laurie insisting i get to bed. Didn't realize its midnight whoops
QOTA Mass & 90m adoration
once again proving that praying with others exacerbates dissociation, because it FORCES SOCIAL MODE and also turns the prayer focus outside, so our thoughts are unanchored and struggling against the vocal input. so yeah, we can "ride out" the rosary+chaplet with others, but then there's no meditative aspect on our part. we have to pray alone, or it just becomes babble.
Shopping (for what i don't remember)
Tag teams for prayer today!
people half-fronting together? what is even jargon for that?
people don't go fully into the body; there's too much dysphoria and existential horror risk. but they still use it as an anchorpoint? like they're halfway between it and headspace, sharing a space together, and using the body's eyes actively.
but oh man. it's beautiful. you can FEEL their personal vibes overlap. like, laurie and leon were praying that padre pio prayer together, the one about gethsemane, and their close but distinct hues sharing that space was just gorgeous. because it's not just hue, man, it's VIBE, and let me tell you we NEED to do this more often and i NEED to pay closer attention to just that (in its own time) because wow. you can learn a LOT about everyone in that contrasting harmony.
some other interesting pairs:
wreckage and julie?
phlegmoni and galadia (gal is MAGENTA!!!)
lynne and jezebel/sharona (name still blurring)
btw knife and razor typically front together, and their vibes are so oddly close they almost bleed into each other. they are siblings, but it strikes me as interesting how they aren't entirely distinct; there's an actual melding at some small point, from knife's wine-rich velvet brocade to razor's slick-sharp heavy bleed.
ALSO we're wondering about leon, because his vibe DOES SHIFT SLIGHTLY from more indigo to more navy, and when he does his APPEARANCE ALSO SHIFTS slightly. honestly the SAME THING happens with LAURIE when she leans more violet than purple, and even JULIE when she moved hard into magenta as opposed to pink. hues have intrinsic qualities so this is fascinating proof of that visually. what's even more interesting is the fact that this appears to be able to occur WITHOUT any marked instability, or threat to function breakage??? which makes me all the more concerned about lynne, because she CANNOT "slide" hues, almost ironically because her true hue is still being knocked around. yes she wants to stay orange, but i think the systemind itself is being confused by it??? like i said, we NEED to clarify that hue. and of course there's still the alleged "bloodline" conflict which would also tie her to potentially cerise and vermilion. but she's holding TOO MUCH in herself right now because there are like NO OTHER ORANGE-HUE NOUSFONI AT ALL.
Bk for noon?
So tired
got brave and drove to the Chrism mass at the cathedral!!
Anxiety meltdown over car
But GORGEOUS MASS WOW
we also sang this mass setting with not just an organ, but a choir and chamber orchestra which was AMAZING
Dinner was simple but nice
Disturbed by summer night scents & colors. HUGE trauma wave sweeping up in psyche from that.
Sense of self is SHOT after Tuesday
Jewels keep getting locked out front
Spent evening archiving 2011 more
Half beautiful half horrifying
Scandalized by our own ignorance and even arrogance
But the new love within the system was so moving. Man I didn't realize WE WEREN'T CLOSE AT ALL UNTIL ABOUT SEPTEMBER OF THAT YEAR.
Listening to random neoclassical stuff. Not a fan of most? Switched to genshin ost again
Laurie insisting i get to bed. Didn't realize its midnight whoops
