101211

[prismaticbleed]

 

...I just spent almost two solid hours with the two people I love most.

Last night was so painful... but today...
I never realized just what we all had. Not completely. Not like this.
I would suffer through all my old trials twice over, for their sake.

There is nothing else I can say about it in words.

I am completely exhausted right now, but it was worth it.

Love is infinite, and so are we.

 

--------------------------------

 

 

All right, I'm sorry, but I need to update again.
Today is proving to be phenomenal.
Q and Mel are getting married, for one, and I... I didn't know if I'd be able to do anything today, I didn't know if anything would happen in my own life to reflect that.
...
Yesterday was a very strange combination of joy and pain. Laurie finally opened back up, to an honestly beautiful extent, but Chaos had hit the end of the line and closed off entirely. I honestly spent an hour last night, in the middle of the night and desperately fighting off exhaustion (both physical and spiritual), just trying with my entire heart to help him find his way back out of the dark. It took me until almost 1:30 in the morning, but... I got through. Just barely, but it was enough.
He slept in this morning as he was completely exhausted too, and apparently his body reacted the same way to that as mine does to hacks. He could barely remember anything of the night before, saying it felt like almost like a bad dream... but the few things he did remember still hurt, terribly.
Last night, when I looked at him, he wasn't there. Now I know how it felt for him, when I had such moments.
But he had become so lost, he had felt that everything was empty and untrue, that we could never keep what we had. He was that lost. And I told him, over and over, with my words and with my very self, that what we had was timeless, it was unbreakable, eternal. When you focus on time and thought you can't see that. He lost sight of it. But only 24 hours before, he had reminded me of that deeper truth during my own darkness... so I did the same for him. Cosmically inseparable means just that.
So this morning he finally was back to his senses. I had Laurie with me when I went to wake him up, in case anything happened, but he was okay... and because of that, because of how badly he had felt the night before, and because of how I hadn't been with him in so long... I didn't want to leave.
But I didn't let Laurie leave either.
...
I honestly have no idea how to describe the next two hours.
I spent a lot of time with Chaos, this is true, which I need to remember as it made me realize something incredibly important... but Laurie actually let me get close to her. And no, I don't even mean close enough to kiss her like I did last night. I mean she actually let her guard down. She has NEVER done that.
So the three of us just spent two hours together, for the sake of that and nothing else. It was beautiful.
Sure, I was completely drained by the time we decided to call it quits (it took me almost an hour to fully switch back, seriously), but it was worth it.
I said it in my Blurty and I'll say it again here... I would suffer through all my old trials twice over for them. I nearly died last October, and if I had to face that hell again for their sake, I would.
Before I left, I told them both that I didn't want any walls between any of us anymore. I don't want a single barrier standing. We've all been closed off at one time or another, and it's time for that to stop, for good. I don't want any fear.

...Lastly I think I should mention that Xenophon just showed up for about a minute to say hello. YES, SHE DID.
I am going to thank Genesis like crazy whenever I get time to see him today, you have no idea.

As for now, though, my earthly schedule is quite hectic so I'm trying to get a little bit of a break in right now.

 

I have a lot of work to do tonight, and of course I have that conversation with Q and Mel that is going to be amazing... so I'll say goodbye to you readers for now.
Keep looking up.