self-compassion group prompt answers

[prismaticbleed]

+ Supportive qualities of my mom: she is determined to learn about eating disorders (especially my OWN personal experiences); she recognizes both my struggles and my strengths; she will literally move mountains to help her kids (she ALWAYS goes the extra mile!); she cares enough to both encourage & critique me; she's always my mom ♡

+ My day so far: lovely talks with the phlebotomist over bloodwork/EKG; she gave me a panda gemkit and a koala sticker. She's so sweet!
Breakfast was a bit shaky from noise-driven dissociation, but I prayed for help & peace, & made it through. I am holding courageously on to optimism & hope-- "what you look for, you will find; you can ONLY see what you BELIEVE!"

+ What makes me happy/peaceful: snow, quiet (& foggy!) mornings, finding inspiration (unexpectedly!), succeeding at playing new music, going to church & singing, exploring the woods, standing in the rain (getting soaking wet!) (or falling asleep during the rainfall), seeing progress in my recovery

+ 10 things I am grateful for: my faith, my family, a new chance at life, my gift for words, my imaginative ideas, childhood memories, sparkly crystalline things, snow & the Christmas season, kind & thoughtful folks, HOPE

+ A great lesson: realizing that faith & family ARE the most important things, wellsprings of love & joy, and defined by giving/gratitude. I tried living with folks who didn't value either, and despite my best efforts, I was miserable. My family LITERALLY rescued me, at great cost, with greater love.

+ If I could change one thing about myself, I would change my tendency to dissociate/ struggle to process the sensory world. The "gaps/ voids" in my awareness & comprehension make daily life frustrating, confusing, & difficult. I want to be more present & engaged in life. Right now, it feels just out of reach.

+ Some bucket list items: GO TO GIMMELWALD and maybe live there for a year? / Write an orchestral piece and (help) conduct it / Publish >2 books / Screenplay a movie and get my mom in the lead role!! ♡ / ACTUALLY learn how to illustrate and/or animate?

+ Two things, uniquely mine, that I treasure: my flash drive with all my creative work saved on it, and my giant plush unicorn, Unisalia, who I received as a gift from my great-aunt, a Bernardine Franciscan nun, at age 3

+ How have I changed in the past 5 years: I am FAR less toxic, addicted, arrogant, and hopeless, thank God!! I'm determined to become mentally healthy & discern my TRUE self; I have grown so much in my faith, yet I humbly & joyfully recognize that I have forever more to grow & learn!

+ Notably, I don't like secrets. At some point I WILL share/ publicize everything; total candor & transparency is my value ideal.

+ Priorities for recovery life: discipline myself to say a daily rosary, chaplet, AND the Divine Office; continuously & courageously & consistently face my "fear foods" until they are SAFE and even enjoyed; get a lamp for my apartment for heaven's sakes; get more involved in my family and church

+ God just made me a sparkle-hearted weirdo goofball and I'm honestly learning to embrace & love that, at last.

+ I NEED to learn how to sit & be alone & quiet without feeling compelled to "accomplish something." Chill our broski!! You ARE accomplishing something-- you're resting & recharging your batteries, letting YOURSELF EXIST free from the constraints & compulsions of the world & daily life, AND you're entering into GOD'S language-territory... silence & solitude. It can be HOLY if you open your heart to MEET HIM IN IT. Learn to listen; the more honestly you try, the purer your heart will become, and you WILL hear Him speak-- "the wilderness will lead you..."-- for He is waiting for you there. He loves you. Let yourself feel that. You CANNOT truly serve OR pray OR work UNLESS you receive that enabling grace THROUGH opening your being to His Love, ENTIRELY. And you NEED silence & solitude, SEPARATE from the noise & crowds & worldly illusions, TO receive it-- THEN you can GIVE IT!!