twenty eleven
Jan. 18th, 2011 11:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
prismaticbleedHappy new year, I suppose. I'll make the best of it.
I apologize for not having been on here in three weeks, but life has been downright insane-- and unsettlingly traumatic in a few instances-- and I haven't had the motivation or the clarity of mind to write about anything.
It's been terribly distressing but I'll see what I can do over the next few days.
I've signed up for a single class at the local community college. It starts Thursday, and I'm already having panic attacks over the thought of people interacting with me and vice versa. This needs to be dealt with.
I'm strongly debating whether or not to attempt taking art classes again. I was badly damaged by the last ones but I'm starting to think I'm out of options.
I'm tired of being miserable, constantly, because I cannot get my worlds on paper, but I can't see myself being an 'artist,' especially not in the job sense.
So I have no idea what to do, and that is terrifying.
In any case I will also be seeing a therapist on the 27th about hopefully getting me out of this destructive 'family,' into a stable situation where I can hopefully provide for myself, and ALSO into my transition if I'm deemed 'stable enough.' Ironically my current state of non-transition is the reason for a great deal of my instability.
However, it's late and I have neither the time nor the mental security to be online right now.
I'll see you soon enough.
I apologize for not having been on here in three weeks, but life has been downright insane-- and unsettlingly traumatic in a few instances-- and I haven't had the motivation or the clarity of mind to write about anything.
It's been terribly distressing but I'll see what I can do over the next few days.
I've signed up for a single class at the local community college. It starts Thursday, and I'm already having panic attacks over the thought of people interacting with me and vice versa. This needs to be dealt with.
I'm strongly debating whether or not to attempt taking art classes again. I was badly damaged by the last ones but I'm starting to think I'm out of options.
I'm tired of being miserable, constantly, because I cannot get my worlds on paper, but I can't see myself being an 'artist,' especially not in the job sense.
So I have no idea what to do, and that is terrifying.
In any case I will also be seeing a therapist on the 27th about hopefully getting me out of this destructive 'family,' into a stable situation where I can hopefully provide for myself, and ALSO into my transition if I'm deemed 'stable enough.' Ironically my current state of non-transition is the reason for a great deal of my instability.
However, it's late and I have neither the time nor the mental security to be online right now.
I'll see you soon enough.
