![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
prismaticbleedA life not lived in the service of God is a life wasted most bitterly.
I've been thinking about that a lot, lately. How the devil cannot take us away from the pierced salvatory hands of Jesus, so he tries instead to waste our time and lives so we cannot do any true good for God.
That's basically the point of the eating disorder I am battling.
tried to read some of our old archives, from late 2017, the time period that s insists we were "the healthiest ever."
nope. one glance at the writing and my stomach hit the floor.
we CANNOT READ THOSE THINGS. they will throw us RIGHT BACK INTO HELL.
my goodness if they thought THAT was healthy I don't want to know what they see in us now. actually, no, I do. I want to know what hurt them, why they're angry, etc. so that I can truly examine my conscience and ask God for help in becoming kinder and more righteous in HIS ways, in what is truly His will.
that's the issue. I have this awful sinking feeling that, what s saw as "healthy" in us, was truly sinful and soul-annihilatory.
I've been thinking about that a lot, lately. How the devil cannot take us away from the pierced salvatory hands of Jesus, so he tries instead to waste our time and lives so we cannot do any true good for God.
That's basically the point of the eating disorder I am battling.
tried to read some of our old archives, from late 2017, the time period that s insists we were "the healthiest ever."
nope. one glance at the writing and my stomach hit the floor.
we CANNOT READ THOSE THINGS. they will throw us RIGHT BACK INTO HELL.
my goodness if they thought THAT was healthy I don't want to know what they see in us now. actually, no, I do. I want to know what hurt them, why they're angry, etc. so that I can truly examine my conscience and ask God for help in becoming kinder and more righteous in HIS ways, in what is truly His will.
that's the issue. I have this awful sinking feeling that, what s saw as "healthy" in us, was truly sinful and soul-annihilatory.
