112725

HAPPY THANKSGIVING WE DIDN'T DIE LAST NIGHT AND WE REFUSE TO GO UP THAT BLOODY HOUSE TODAY

Bathroom before church=
Me GUTTING Taureia and Infi EATING her guts
"Don't look"

Later talking to Infi about it =
"I refuse to gobble things up like she does"
Eating with reverence and gratitude EVEN SO, notably REFUSING to go into "monster form" to eat it.
Transmuted through FORGIVENESS
Purified to its true essence = hunger and delight oriented TOWARDS GOD in gratitude and joy, NOT selfish lust
Infi ALSO REFUSED to "spit it up" like she does. This was RED energy, viscera, inherently holy, even when she had corrupted it.


Church, the Eucharist, is all I want and need today.
Thats my home. Thats my food. I'm happy.

For the first time in our life, we blocked our mothers phone number. It's only for today. But it was the only way to keep the peace between us today.


Black Friday sale means WE SAVED $40 ON RESTOCKING ULTIMA TODAY, THANK YOU GOD


------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've realized that reading Lamentations– ESPECIALLY while eating–
is actually a subtle form of self abuse. It's incredibly triggering and brings up a lot of trauma memories. So even though, being Scripture, It is intrinsically edifying and worthy of reading, now is not the prudent time to do so. That book is something we need to read when we're DONE eating and we have time to reflect and TYPE ABOUT IT especially.

So today we return to the New Testament.
I actually think I want to FINALLY finish Second Corinthians because it's been MONTHS. It feels like it's very relevant regardless– Lord knows we need His consolation now more than ever.