tbhu distress tolerance worksheets = coping skill lists

DISTRACTING

WITH ACTIVITIES =

• Focus ALL your attention on LEAGUEWORK!
• Watch movies that you KNOW you'll enjoy!
• Clean the house--YOU REALLY SHOULD, BUDDY
• Library groups?
• CHURCH EVENTS
• PLAY KLONOA!
• Go for a walk; HIT THE GYM
• Surf the internet for the LEAGUE/ BIBLE STUDY
• JOURNAL/ BLOG
• FIND NEW MUSIC!
• Read religious books/ SCRIPTURE
• Try MATH learning games??
• Shirt painting?
• Ceramics?
• Collages?
• Digital coloring?
• PLAY A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT

WITH CONTRIBUTING = 

• Find volunteer work to do at church?
• Help mom up the house!
• Give a neighbor a card?
• Send encouraging text messages = to the fam? Tumblr askboxes?
• GIFTART?
• Do something thoughtful, even anonymously!
• Food/ hygiene "pantry" donations
• SHARE "INSIGHT" (GIFT) to EDIFY & CONSOLE others

WITH COMPARISONS =

• Compare how you are feeling NOW to a time when you felt different = REVIEW THE SCARY ARCHIVES THANK GOD FOR HIS DELIVERANCE
• READ VOTM!!
• Compare CONSEQUENCES; "pros & cons"

WITH DIFFERENT EMOTIONS =

• Read emotional books or stories (especially LEAGUEWORK & ARCHIVES)
• Read old letters (TO/ FROM THE SYSTEM)
• Watch emotional TV shows or movies = CHIZU WEEK + SYSTEM FAVE FILMS
• Listen to emotional music; what soothes you? What fires you up? (WE HAVE MANY SPECIFIC PLAYLISTS. MAKE MORE.)
• Listen to religious music (both choral & modern!)
• Make a Tumblr blog for uplifting/ funny/ happy things?

WITH PUSHING AWAY =

• PHYSICALLY leave the situation for a while; "context break"
• MENTALLY leave the situation for a while; POSITIVE REFOCUS
• Notice ruminating = RECOGNIZE as unhelpful & REPLACE with GRATITUDE/ GOOD
• Put the pain "on a shelf"/ "box it up" and put it away for a while = LITERALLY?? Write it down IN GENERAL and come back to "unpack it" when you ARE stable?
• GIVE IT TO GOD
• GIVE IT TO SPECIFIC FONI (whose JOB it is TO hold it)

WITH OTHER THOUGHTS = 

• Count to 10 = just count in general; numbers are VERY SOOTHING to me
• Count and name the colors around you = elicits JOY actually
• Describe the objects around you = Laurie has me do this often to fight derealization!
• Repeat words to a favorite song in your mind (AUDREY'S JUKEBOX)
• PRAY MENTALLY / SCRIPTURE MEDITATION
• Read Scripture or spiritual books
• LEAGUEWORK BRAINSTORMING/ IMAGINING

WITH OTHER SENSATIONS = 

• Listen to very loud music 
• Go out in the RAIN or SNOW = SHEER BLISS
• Take a hot or cold shower (we don't have a proper shower at home; but use faucet water for quick shocks)
• Hug a plushie 
• Go discover textures in nature AND at home

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SELF-SOOTHING

★ IF IT DOESN'T SOOTHE YOU, DON'T FORCE IT!!!


WITH VISION =

• Look at the stars
• Look at the pictures you like in a book (JMC archive notably)
• Look at OLD Leagueworld art (childhood days)
• MAKE A "SCRAPBOOK" OF NICE THINGS??
• Look at the "LOVE WALL" in the bedroom
• WEAR COLORSHADES
• FIND A MUSEUM AND GO TO IT
• Sit in the lobby of a beautiful old hotel = IS there any place like this locally?? I DO love that kind of architecture.
• Look at nature around you
• Watch a sunrise or sunset
• Be mindful of each sight that passes in front of you
• Take a scenic walk or hike (FIND PLACES)
• Look through "beloveds" & religious art folders on phone; ADD TO THEM
• Watch a beautiful movie
• LOOK UP PICTURES OF GIMMELWALD

WITH HEARING =

• Listen to soothing or invigorating music.
• Pay attention to sounds of nature.
• Sing to your favorite songs. (BE CAREFUL. Not all 'foni who do this are positive.)
• Hum a soothing tune.
• LEARN THE CELLO & VIOLA
• Play with the guzheng
• Make a playlist with music that will get you through tough times. (SYSTEM ANTHEMS & MEMORIES)
• Be mindful of the sounds around you right now.
• Listen to EWTN/ JMJ
• Listen to LEAGUE MUSIC; WRITE NEW ONES (or at least BEGIN!)

WITH SMELL =

• Minty soap?
• Smell coffee beans (when you're near some)
• Make your own "potpourri"? (be very careful; COVID screwed up my lungs big time)
• Boil cinnamon and/or ginger root
• Smell the roses! There are MANY in town!
• Walk in a wooded area and mindfully breathe in the fresh smells of nature. (I MISS THIS SO MUCH IT HURTS)
• Open the window and smell the air = ONLY IN AUTUMN/ WINTER; warm weather in the city is terrifying
• RAIN SMELL
• BEDSHEETS/ PLUSHIES
• grandma's old clothing. this might trigger deep grief but it's also the most profound tangible consolation i have left. 

WITH TASTE = 

• TEA for ANXI?
• Eat a childhood favorite food? Like WHAT? Think about this!
• FIND a nice favorite food to enjoy!
• Sample flavors of ice cream??? CAN YOU??
• Try a NEW fruit/ veg/ ethnic import food
• PEPPERMINTS!
• Get a special food that you don't usually buy = FIGS! MOONDROP GRAPES!
• Really taste the food you eat. Eat one thing mindfully.
• BRUSH YOUR TEETH KIDDO

WITH TOUCH = 

• Sink into a comfortable chair. (good luck with that buddy, back pain is out to get you)
• Put on a shirt that has a pleasant feel (the SILK SLEEP SHIRT that Chaos 0 loves)
• Take a drive with the car windows rolled down (BEST THING IN THE WORLD)
• Run your hand along smooth wood or glass.
• Hug someone = even an anchor plush ♥ 
• EVEN BETTER, GO UPSTAIRS AND HUG SOMEONE (yes it counts, I still feel it!)
• Just collapse into bed dude
• Wrap up in a blanket (see previous)
• Notice touch that is soothing. (this INCLUDES INANIMATE TEXTURES, thank God. but develop this discernment! LEARN what ISN'T frightening!)
• Walk through the apartment and just TOUCH STUFF. Savor the uniqueness of things. 
• GO TOUCH SOME GRASS & TREES & MOSS
• Run water over your hands, wash your face, etc.
• EXERCISE COUNTS! FEEL THE BURN BUDDY

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IMPROVING THE MOMENT


WITH IMAGERY =

• Imagine very relaxing scenes. (GIMMELWALD)
• Imagine a secret room within yourself. Furnish it the way you like. Close and lock the door on anything that can hurt you. = THIS DOESN'T WORK FOR US?? BECAUSE TRAUMA HAD US BEING LOCKED IN WITH INTERNAL ABUSERS!!! 
• Imagine everything going well. (BUILD THIS MUSCLE!!)
• Make up a calming fantasy world. (COLOR REALMS)
• BTW do NOT "imagine hurtful emotions draining out of you like a pipe" as they suggested; that's MAJOR SLC/TAR FLASHBACKS
• Remember a happy time and imagine yourself in it again, or just play it out in your mind again
• COLOR REALM/ LEAGUEWORLD BUILDING; look for VISUAL AIDS ONLINE & "COLLECT" them?? WRITE "VIBES"?? + PRACTICE IMAGINING to STRENGTHEN & CLARIFY YOUR ABILITY TO "SEE" MENTAL IMAGES; WE ACTUALLY LOST A LOT OF OUR CAPACITY POST-CNC

WITH MEANING =
(this is absolutely System work + faith work)

• Find purpose or meaning in a painful situation.
• Focus on whatever positive aspects of a painful situation you can find. Repeat these positive aspects in your mind.
• Remember, listen to, or read about spiritual values.
• REVIEW THE ARCHIVES; PRINT BEST ENTRIES & CARRY WITH YOU
• Make a LIST of MEANINGFUL SCRIPTURE VERSES
• GRATITUDE JOURNALING; ~3+ points EVERY DAY/NIGHT

WITH PRAYER=

• Open your heart to God. (your own Wise Mind GETS its wisdom FROM HIM!)
• Ask God for strength to bear the pain. CARRY YOUR CROSS!
• Consciously turn things over to God. Repeat this as often as you need to. ("O JESUS, I SURRENDER MYSELF TO YOU, TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING")
• ROSARY
• SAINT BRIDGET PRAYERS
• GO TO THE ALTAR AND JUST TALK TO GOD!!
• Say your VERY FAVORITE PRAYERS
• SAY THE ENZLER STATIONS!!!

WITH RELAXING ACTIONS =

• Drink hot tea
• Practice stretching (make it a HABIT; we'll feel MUCH BETTER)
• Breathe deeply (SET a TIMER; make this a HABIT, DAILY)
• Change your facial expression (This WORKS!!)
• Go sit under a tree/ in the grass/ by water??
• SIT DOWN and just BE
• Read a KID'S BOOK

WITH ONE THING IN THE MOMENT =

• Focus your entire attention on just what you are doing (GRATEFUL WONDER & JOY!)
• Keep yourself in the moment. ("Be HERE, NOW")
• Put your mind in the present. (NOT past/ future)
• Focus your entire attention on the physical (SANCTIFY IT!)
• EXERCISE (WEIGHTS)
• Do something like PAINTING/ COLORING that DEMANDS BOTH fine motorskill focus AND mental attention/ quiet

WITH A BRIEF VACATION =

• Go to the woods for a day? Try it! ♥
• Turn off your phone for a day. Seriously TRY THIS.
• Take a blanket to a park (WHERE?) and sit on it for a whole afternoon
• Take a one hour breather from hard work
• GOOGLE MAPS WORLD TOUR!
• Go to a movie or music performance?
• Chill in a cafe or library?
• I'd LOVE to just bum around my old university; that was SO NICE 

WITH SELF-ENCOURAGEMENT & RETHINKING THE SITUATION =

• "I will make it out of this."
• "I'm doing the best I can" = MAKE SURE WE ARE!!!
• Repeat over and over: "I can stand it."
• "This too shall pass."
• "I will be okay." = GOD IS GUIDING & PROTECTING ME.
• "It won't last forever." = ONLY GOD/LOVE IS ETERNAL (HEAVEN HOPE)
• THANK GOD for the moment (HIS WILL/ LESSON) & TRUST HIM; ASK for GRACE to SEE & CHERISH HIS HAND IN IT
• "THIS CAN & WILL HELP ME GROW IN VIRTUE!" (COMMIT)

TWO "RETHOUGHTS" THAT ARE PARTICULARLY IMPORTANT IN YOUR CRISIS SITUATIONS =
1. "My mistakes/ misjudgments DON'T INVALIDATE my (GOD-GIVEN!) GOOD QUALITIES."
2. "God's will/ the Holy Spirit DO NOT induce PANIC/ ANXIETY/ SELF-LOATHING/ etc. I must INSTEAD CHOOSE to act in LOVE/ HOPE/ MERCY/ etc."!!

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DISTRESS TOLERANCE SKILLS: A.C.C.E.P.T.S.
It is important to know skills to manage feelings of distress when in a stressful situation. 

ACTIVITIES: what hobbies, interests, and activities can you perform for fun to distract you from the emotional distress?
HOBBIES= character design? collages, play music, LEAGUEWORK fixing
INTERESTS= LEAGUE RESEARCH, science news? music & math & language learning? BIBLE
ACTIVITIES= poetry/ JOURNAL writing prompts, drawing skill practice (from refs), paintblots, writing/ reading books
FUN= KLONOA, dance? play with paints? spotify bike? watch on Tubi? (kids movies!)
✳LISTS of things (SPECIFIC, UNUSUAL = letters, colors, categories, etc.)

CONTRIBUTING: to a cause that is greater than yourself... how can you volunteer, help a loved one, or plan something bigger than yourself to distract from distressing feelings?
VOLUNTEER= local church food drive, library/ church events, local (queer) activism?
HELP= mom house remodeling, text brothers? talk to neighbors? intercessory PRAYER
PLAN= type for religious blog, LOOK INTO League publication processes? AUDIO reading/ religious album?
GIVE= "spread awareness" (HOLY CAUSES), make things for babies/ elderly/ homeless? donate clothes/ books, MAKE "prayer cards"

COMPARISONS: Compare your ability to handle stress with the way you used to handle these feelings in the past.
SIMILAR= can feel "all or nothing" emotion, "need to fix this now," stress "output" in body, can obsess over "what to do," stutter, angry, whine, DISSOCIATE
DIFFERENT= UNWILLING TO PURGE, reasons to live/ things I ENJOY, no longer triggered superswitching, NO SELF-ABUSE, less prone to blame others (more accountable)

EMOTIONS: Doing something that will stimulate other emotions within you will take away from the distracting feeling of distress. What can you read, watch, and listen to in order to feel lighter emotions than panic, distress, and anxiety?
READ= LEAGUEWORK, Animorphs/ Young Wizards/ ANY of the books on the "kid shelf", positive Archive entries, fave Scripture 
WATCH= FAVE kids movies, The Chosen, animated Bible stories (Tubi)
LISTEN= Soothing/ Happy playlists, Catholic podcasts? Sounds of nature, play instruments
(BONUS) WRITE= LOVING poetry, Leaguework, oneword/ prompts, gratitude journal, art/ painting reviews (TUMBLR)

PUSH AWAY: Taking a mental break from the distress is helpful for staying mentally healthy. How will you build your mental resilience against the distress, so you are ABLE to put it away when you need to?
"I can't do anything about it RIGHT NOW, especially NOT IN THIS MENTAL STATE. Let me focus on GROUNDING & CALMING DOWN, & THEN I can try to deal with it." AND/OR "I am NOT in a PHYSICAL SITUATION where I CAN do anything; for now I PUT IT IN GOD'S HANDS"

THOUGHTS: How will you distract your thoughts from strengthening the level of distress you feel? What will you use to focus your thoughts onto something else when you feel yourself getting too stressed?  
MAKE LISTS from memory, play out a League scene in your head, describe something near you in detail, do simple math mentally, think of beautiful things & what you love most about them, PRAY, count things/ look for patterns & shapes, describe color resonances

SENSATIONS: Engaging your other senses can help to distract your mind. Stimulating senses of touch, sight, sound, taste, and smell are all effective ways to lessen the intensity of stress. How will you use your senses to distract from the distress you are feeling in the moment? 
✳THIS IS EXPLICITLY AN EATING DISORDER REROUTE!!
SOUND= SPOTIFY, instruments, audio lectures, bells?
SIGHT= GOOGLE MAPS, TUMBLR, SPARKLY THINGS, ART FOLDER
SMELL= BEDSHEETS, SPICES/ HERBS, candles? (NEXT DOOR)
TOUCH= HUG A PLUSH, touch different outdoor/ indoor textures, COLD 
✳ MAKE A "COPING BOX" OF THINGS LIKE THIS AGAIN!! (get TINY containers!)

101724

"ANXIETY IS THE RESULT OF IMAGINING THE FUTURE WITHOUT GOD." When you KNOW, BELIEVE, & TRUST that GOD IS WITH YOU, & ALWAYS WILL BE-- when you JOYFULLY RELY ON & SURRENDER TO HIS CONSTANT PROVIDENCE = LOVE-- then ANXIETY DISAPPEARS. (or, at least, her heart is COMFORTED & SHE can rest in God's Arms too)

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"She hasn't made a fool of herself just to win my favor" = "that is called DIGNITY"

"HOW CAN YOU HELP ME IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME?" "We NEED ROOTS IN THE DARK TO GROW"

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I CANNOT GET OVER HOW DEBILITATINGLY TERRIFIED I AM OF SOY. Like I LITERALLY BELIEVE I AM GOING TO DIE. I am so afraid, I've gone numb. When I'm not, I feel SO LOST & HELPLESS & SCARED I just start crying like a child. I feel like a sick child. I KNOW something is VERY WRONG BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING and I'm HELPLESS. My chest, arms, back, and throat keep itching. My eyes keep burning and watering. My nose is stuffy & running. I have that awful pre-vomit saliva & nausea. My scalp is itching now too. My head is spinning, my vision is unfocused. I feel utterly broken. My neck is itching. My face is twitching, and my arms, and my legs. My tongue feels sore. This is utterly terrifying. WHAT IS IT DOING TO MY BODY. This happened THREE BLOODY TIMES TODAY. GOD I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS TO MYSELF ANYMORE. I need to wait & do this challenge with the allergist, but I KNOW she'll say it's "nothing to worry about"-- I'm not wheezing, or breaking out in visible hives, or actively throwing up. But I feel like I could hit that point any second. This is legit hell. It's like the UPMC chocolate milk. I'm so tired of literally feeling like I am dying every single bloody time I eat these foods. God what do I even do. I cannot force myself through this again tomorrow. I need a break. It's the weekend. I get to eat a gyro & TWO english muffins & TWO FLOUNDER. I want to ENJOY IT WITHOUT SHAKING IN TERROR OVER MEETING THE GRIM REAPER AT SNACKTIME. I cannot deal with this, not yet at least. Everything itches so much. My head feels like helium. I'm so, so scared. This is making me want to quit eggs now, too. I'm so tired. I thought this was over. I WANT IT TO BE OVER. I NEED THIS TO STOP. I need to see if I get these symptoms WITHOUT eating soy. Maybe I should go without eggs, too, & see if that helps. God I NEED to talk to my allergist. I NEED SOLID DIRECT ANSWERS. What is happening to my body?? Why do I feel like SOBBING? The constant fullbody itching is one thing; this MOOD nosedive is another thing entirely, and THAT'S TERRIFYING TOO. I feel like I'm falling apart and ALL I DID WAS DRINK SOYMILK. I want to weep. I feel utterly helpless. I feel TRAPPED. I want to just give up eating altogether & sleep for days. I'm sorry. NO MORE SOYMILK. And maybe even NO EGGS EITHER. I can't deal with another day of this. I want to feel OKAY. Not itchy. Not confused & lost & helpless. Not SICK & SCARED. Allergies are literally demonic. I wish there was a cure for this. I feel like the world is crumbling. This body feels broken. God I hope I can sleep it off. AT LEAST I TRIED TO EAT IT!!! YOU CAN'T CALL ME A COWARD.