121023

 

Mass morning. Very dazed, kinda loopy, but not stressed. Just upset that we couldn't focus better.

Concerning our "practical Advent goals" from the LBB devotional, today we left off our "giving tree" gift at church (just in time), and we've "sent out" TWO cards to neighbors so far, promptly-- one today, one last week. So we're keeping our little promises, by the grace of God!

FINALLY BK @ 1420

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Oh man I FORGOT, the second reading today was MEANT FOR THE SYSTEM TO HEAR.
2 PETER 3.
"A thousand years like a day, a day like a thousand years" IMMEDIATELY made me think of Infi... especially since it was shortly followed by "the day of the Lord will come like a THIEF"-- I thought of the Burt Bacharach song, and our old ardent poem "stolen"-- and "then with a roar the sky will vanish, the elements will catch fire and fall apart, the earth and all that it contains will be burnt up"... giving me instant vivid flashbacks to Infi's death, the post-massacre apocalypse, and the self-annihilatory destruction that followed CNC.
And yet, prior to that terrible reminder...
"The Lord is not being slow to carry out His promises, as anybody else might be called slow; but He is being patient with you all, wanting nobody to be lost and everybody to be brought to change his ways."
That's our entire history. That's Julie. That's Siobhan. That's the Retributors. Maybe that'll be Infinitii, too, God please be willing.


I love the commentary on it too=
"The Second Letter of Peter, probably the last of all the writings of the New Testament, here sets out to comfort Christians who were disappointed that the ‘Big Bang’ at the end of the world had not yet happened. The first generations of Christians had expected the world to come rapidly to an end– and yet it still goes on."
Although I know it isn't the same principle, this sadly sounds too much like our personal history-- constantly seeking resets, constantly trying to end things, never thinking we would survive to the next year, and yes, being disappointed that we WOULD somehow keep living. It's that old "thanatos drive," remember?
But this... for us, this is taking that deathdrive and handing it to the thriskefoni. They want the world to end, all of it, so they can be with God.
Little did they realize, God isn't so keen on annihilation.
...


"From this point of view, the annual cycle of Church feasts and festivals, even of Christmas, is a reminder that God is in total control of His universe. For us the seasons roll round, but for God, time is meaningless."
1) This interests me. How is the CYCLE a reminder of God's control? I want to understand that better; the very phrase catches me.
2) "His universe." What an unexpectedly tender phrase. That simple yet cosmic-possessive pronoun GENUINELY makes me feel loved & safe, makes Him feel like a Father, makes everything seem bearable in the end.
3) Time is "meaningless" to God. This sounds callous, but it cannot be, for God is Love, and He cares dearly for all us temporal creatures. Our existences have meaning to Him; Time itself has "meaning" to Him, in the sense of "purpose," otherwise He wouldn't have created it! But that only applies to it AS A CREATURE. To Him personally, time is indeed "meaningless"-- God is eternal, uncreated, pure Spirit, limitless and omnipresent. Time, as we mortals experience it, affects Him as much as a feather cuts steel. It doesn't. Rather, He "affects" time. It is His, too. The seasons are all His design, His choreography, looping like clockwork according to His promise until everything "dissolves"... on that day that Christ returns. THAT is why time is "meaningless"-- because the only meaning OF all time is to count down TO CHRIST, at one time or another, until everything is fulfilled in Him and time's work is done and it too can come to an end. That is how we describe the "apocalypse," after all!
So that's the cycle. It has meaning, patient meaning, until it doesn't need to anymore-- until the Eternal One Who makes it beautifully meaningless at last arrives IN time one last time, to complete & consummate it.
That's how God is in control. The clock turns, the leaves turn, all in right order and at the proper time, we are born and grow and age and die, and it is all in His Hands. The Church, in blessed testimony to this Truth, and to the ultimate End of all time, follows its own cycle, a deathless circle, a loop of Life, proclaiming the Birth and Life and Death and RETURN of God in history-- all in time, all beyond time, all then and now and yet to be. God is wrapped up in every second, existing beyond it, and still yet to arrive.
That is how we wait. The Second Coming isn't going to happen tomorrow, but it might. Time is meaningless to God. Whether we wait a day or a thousand years more, He is even now standing at the threshold, His Hand ready to open the door, in every single moment of our lives. He was here, He is here, and He will be here. This is, as it always is, His Advent. Are we ready?

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More universalis, from the Gospel =
"John was forming a community of repentance, but not so much a community which wept ‘Boo-hoo!’ about their sins, as a community of people determined to set their scale of values right. He meant them to stop going in one direction, to turn round and go in a different direction. Do we give ourselves a moment of pause to ask whether we have our priorities right? Where on our list of priorities does the entry of Christ into our lives come? John said rotten trees were going to be cut down, useless straw to be burnt. Do I need to feel the axe at my feet?"
1) A COMMUNITY of repentance. That's VITAL. As ALL sin has inevitably social consequences, our repentance must therefore also be communal-- and actively so, in order to truly repair the damage and foster preventative concord in its wake!
2) WEEPING VS DETERMINATION. This is a knockout conviction, as much as it is a striking distinction. It is, actually, entirely possible to weep yourself sick over your sins YET STAY STUCK IN THEM. Weeping is emotional and therefore dangerous-- pride, as false humility, loves to hijack it.
AND YET, you arguably CANNOT set your values straight UNLESS the CONTRITION that MOTIVES weeping is STILL PRESENT, even if you don't literally shed a tear.
...
3) Before you can turn around, you have to STOP WALKING.
...
4) THERE IS ONLY ONE TOP PRIORITY, EVER, AND THIS IS IT: CHRIST MUST ENTER INTO OUR LIFE, TODAY, NOW.
We must get to a point where this priority is burnt into our subconscious, so that in every breath & heartbeat, our soul is actively asking, "how can I welcome Christ in this moment?" and then IMMEDIATELY DOING SO. Every other priority we have, even eating & sleeping, is secondary-- not overruled, but redefined.
...
5) Am I a rotten tree? Am I useless straw? Be sharply honest. Am I bearing spiritual fruit that can feed & nourish the souls (and bodies) of others? Am I producing living foliage, so that my very presence is welcoming, offering comfort & healing to those nearby? Are we completely devoid of grain, nothing but husks, keeping company with the "wheat" until a stormy gust reveals our lack of substance? Are we so hollow in our Christian walk that we've never been able to die with Christ? Are our words and actions so devoid of God's truth and power that the slightest passing breeze could carry us off with it? Are we feeding people or animals? Are we fit for food at all, or are we bound to be burned?
6) LAURIE, YOU WERE BORN FOR THIS.


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MDE2 = SENT ME REELING. I actually stopped dead and quietly exclaimed "what??" in stunned amazement.
"“After Holy Communion,” wrote Josefa, “it seemed to me what heaven itself was in my soul. Suddenly I saw Jesus in all His beauty . . . with His Heart resplendent and shining as a very sun. It was surmounted by a cross of fire. ... He said: ‘She that eats My Flesh possesses God, Author of Life . . . and of Life Eternal . . . That is how this soul becomes My heaven. Nothing can compare with her in beauty. The angels are in admiration and as God is within that soul, they fall down in adoration. . . . O soul, didst thou but know thy dignity. . . . Your soul, Josefa, is My heaven and every time you receive Me in Holy Communion My grace augments both your dignity and your beauty.”
Josefa could do nothing but humble herself at her Master's feet and confess her sins, her miseries and weakness, knowing herself unworthy of the infinite Sanctity that, descending to her nothingness, went to the length of making her in reality His heavenly place of repose. “Lord,” she said, “I give Thee my heart, my life, my liberty... all.
“I desire nothing else,” He answered. “What does all the rest matter?... Your sins? Why, I can wipe them out... Your miseries? I consume them . . . Your weakness? I will be its support... Let us remain united.”"
ARE YOU SERIOUS
ALL OF THIS IS TRUE AND REAL?????
Jesus DOESN'T hyperfixate on my unworthiness? He says my sins "don't matter", BECAUSE He can wipe them out? But what DOES matter is whether or not I GIVE Him my HEART.
...


EGJ=
"Comfort. Often in life and death, the only way to show our love for one another is through comfort. Advent asks of us the same thing asked of the shepherds on that holy night, asked of hospice workers every day, and asked of all who have a beating heart: Will you provide comfort to the lost, lonely, hungry, hurting, vulnerable, fragile, sick, and dying people of God? What we do for the least among us, we do for Christ.
Today, there is someone in your immediate sphere who is hurting, vulnerable, lonely, or perhaps frightened. Reach out to them with a small gesture of comfort. It doesn’t matter what it is; it only matters that it is."
...
1) I have NEVER seen comfort as this virtuous before. This is honestly a game-changer for me.
At the risk of sounding whiny, I must admit, my upbringing did have a great influence on this perspective of mine-- this stolid opinion that "comfort" is for weaklings, for lazy people, for slackers & moochers. Et cetera.
But remember yesterday's homily. "We're in the foxhole together." THAT'S COMFORT. Comfort isn't some wishy-washy mollycoddling thing. Comfort is a VERB, and as an action it is a VIRTUE, and virtues ARE MEANT FOR BATTLE.
...
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2) THE SHEPHERDS!!! Dude that is a STUNNING REALIZATION. They WERE sent to bring comfort to others-- to their people, absolutely, by proclaiming that the Messiah had finally been born, but ALSO TO THE HOLY FAMILY, by simply visiting them in their cold & lonely cave.
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3) We are called to PROVIDE comfort. That verb feels significant.
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4) The EXAMPLES. Oh man I seriously want to reflect on them ALL individually; my heart needs the exercise.
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5) You know, I just realized-- when human pride of reputation and fear of performance get in the way of serving others, the love of Jesus overrides it. If I'm afraid to reach out to someone because I don't want to get involved in all the social niceties and obligations, all I have to do is see Jesus in them and suddenly the entire task becomes easy. It's because Jesus puts love in our hearts. When our humanity cannot love another-- how shameful and horrible-- Jesus can. And He uses His own Love to give us Love for Him in that person. Does that make sense? When we see Christ in others, and love Him in them, our hearts become softened and willing to generously do what our mortal selfishness could never even attempt.
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6) Upon reading this, I texted B. That's not easy for me; I seriously dislike texting and talking both. But I love my sibling, and I love Jesus, and the two are together in this moment of comfort.
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And THIS PRAYER that is so beautiful it aches =
"Use me, Lord, as the quilt you wrap around those who are cold. Use me as the spoon with which you feed those who hunger, as the smile you share with those who despair, and as the hands with which you hold those who are dying."
I HONESTLY WANT THIS SO BADLY.
I can't explain it. Maybe it's just a woman thing. But deep down I have this legit DRIVE to be of such tender & intimate service to others, especially the elderly & the sick, as we were graced to be for Grandma.
...

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Just got convicted by the CEVDCI (1 John 4:16-18)=
"God stays one with everyone who openly says Jesus is the Son of God. This is how we stay one with God and are sure God loves us. God is love. If we keep on loving others, we will stay one in our hearts with God, and He will stay one with us. If we truly love others and live as Christ did in this world, we won't be worried about the day of judgment. A real love for others will chase those worries away. The thought of being punished is what makes us afraid. It shows we have not really learned to love."
0) It is absolutely astounding how LOVE FOR OUR FELLOW MAN is repeatedly and emphatically stated in Scripture to be the DECIDING FACTOR IN OUR FINAL JUDGMENT, even as professing Christians!!!
1) God "stays one" with us based on TWO THINGS which are, in a very shocking way, UNITED. First, we must openly declare that Jesus is the Son of God-- God Who IS LOVE. And secondly, we must "keep on loving others."
How can we declare Christ is God, and then not live as Christ lived? How can we admit His divinity, and then fail to follow His example? THAT will be our judgment for sure.
But it's more than just harmony, it's UNITY. After all, "no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit." (1 Cor 12:3) Even better= "no one can say, “Jesus is MY Lord,” except by the power and influence of the Holy Spirit." But there's MORE to that verse = "no one speaking by the Spirit of God calls Jesus accursed (anathema)." Now consider this. Jesus was born as a poor man, as a humble and lowly man, as a refugee baby, as a homeless adult, born to become a condemned criminal to die in utter desolation, cursed by His own people. He identified Himself with the "cast-offs" of society, He made friends with the rejected outcasts & hated outsiders, He lived in camaraderie with unlearned fishermen and tax collectors and lepers, and He tenderly welcomed all those considered cursed by God. Et cetera. And Jesus IS GOD MADE MAN.
So. What does this tell us?
If we curse anyone, if we call any man "anathema"-- if we excommunicate them from our personal life, deeming them "damned already" or "devoted to evil", beyond hope and beyond our concern-- then WE ARE NOT IN THE SPIRIT, AND THEREFORE NOT ONE WITH GOD, no matter how we may cry out "Lord, Lord!" (Matt 7:21) And we have every reason to fear Judgment as a result.
...

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Three AMAZING lines from Rev. Terrance Klein=

"But none of us is the artist! God is! Do not ask an artist what is necessary. Nothing is necessary; everything is necessary."
...

"Christ is the Light come into the darkness. Christ, who is creature in His manhood and Creator in His divinity, wills that one part of creation, a sliver that is nothing but creation, should be suffused—in the eyes of the Creator and therefore in reality itself—with light, clothed in grace. Mary should be like Christ, the light come into the world, without a tint of shadow. This is her own deepest identity to echo His."
1) I was stunned by the blatant reminder here that Christ became Man and therefore DID "become creature" in that sense of uniting Himself WITH a human form! Just... WOW.
2) IF GOD SEES YOU AS SOMETHING, THEN THAT IS THE TRUTH OF WHO YOU ARE.
3)

"A painter needs both darkness and light to create. Evidently, though God wants for nothing, God needs both as well. The darkness presents the light. It frames and encloses it, and thus makes it what it is. But on the canvas of creation transfigured, the destiny of all the redeemed and sanctified, there is one sliver untouched by sin. The artist has willed that she, like himself, be suffused in light alone."
1) WANT VS NEED? Is this proper language for God? Are we truly allowed to speak of Him in such terms?? If so... what a beautiful mystery this is.
2) Oh my heart hurts so much reading this I could sob. It's purely Infinitii. God You keep showing me things that sound and feel like hir, I have no vocabulary to properly express how this makes me feel. It's all tears and music and light and shadow. What does that teach me about You? So much, so much, words fail me. Only the heart can speak it, but it remains silent, and holds the mystery close and treasured.
3) "Creation transfigured" is its DESTINY. Now I really feel like weeping. That's headspace. EVERYTHING in Creation-- except for Mary!-- has been marred by sin. But it is DESTINED TO BE TRANSFIGURED, EVEN SO.
4)


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