prayer journal 04

The noise of the world can drown out the voice of God. Taking time to be still and read God's Word-- even five minutes a day-- will allow You to hear His Voice.
What do you need to do to "unplug" from the hustle and bustle of the world?
How will you begin to make time to listen-- and hear-- from God?

This unit is VERY noisy during meals, and often during free time, which typically makes me dissociate from sheer overwhelm. Even alone in my room, the complex & arduous work of recovery-- both coping & planning-- take up so much of my cognitive effort & time. But I'm STILL yearning for God; even if the intensity of that true hunger is somewhat muffled lately, it never disappears, and my faith constantly makes itself known again like sunlight through clouds. Morning & night prayers are key; so is mealtime prayer. But I MUST regularly read Scripture DURING THE DAY, too-- even if only a line every hour. I MUST stay connected!

GUIDANCE FOR TODAY...

+ TALK to Jesus!! Prayer isn't just recitation; THAT'S why you're exhausted! Don't be afraid of Him, OR of His Holy Spirit. They LOVE you and want to HELP you & SAVE you, NOT condemn or hurt you!! Start having CONVERSATIONS with them-- heart to Heart.
+ START READING THE GOSPELS IN A LINEAR FASHION-- no jumping around! I want to read them SO BADLY, and now is a perfect time to start! (Bring the Bible to backup!!)
+ USE TINY PRAYERS OFTEN. Little expressions of love & thanks, brief but sincere visualized reflections on the Life of Christ, a line from a hymn or psalm, a simple trusting cry for help... those ALL COUNT AS PRAYER, and they WILL keep your heart in CONSTANT communion! ♡

UPMC journal 101622

+ In a strange way, we're "trying too hard" to recover? We're "pushing aside" our OWN unique needs & skills, and trying to "force" ones that HARM/ HINDER us "just because" they're on a worksheet or something. Even with meal planning, we're making things too much about "meeting performance expectations" and NOT working within the VALID LIMITS of budget/ storage/ resources/ options we realistically have. In our heart-- and EMPHASIS on the "our"-- WE KNOW what is healthy vs unhealthy coping, what is disordered vs beneficial behavior. We DO have a good sense of conscience and we DO want to live a full, colorful, vibrant, creative life; we DO want to honor and love and properly manage ALL our emotions, AND most importantly, the Nousfoni whose hearts are bound to them. Recovery is about US, as a UNITED WHOLE. We all need to be recognized, respected, and INVOLVED in this process-- in this LIFE. That's the only way we CAN be truly healthy & healed... because it's the ONLY way we CAN live in LOVE.
...I must be blunt and admit that trying to be religious WITHOUT involving my/ our WHOLE SELF ended up becoming "forced" and almost suicidal in too many ways. I couldn't love GOD as He deserves-- as He wants & needs-- without that love coming from my WHOLE HEART. It's the same thing with recovery. We ALL contributed to it with all our pain & trauma & broken coping skills & addictions & God only knows what else... but, as all D.I.D. Systems do, we ONLY acted/ reacted in those ways because at some point, in some way, IT KEPT US ALIVE. Now, then, to TRULY LIVE, we MUST CHANGE TOGETHER. We ALL forgive each other. We all love each other. We know that, now. It's the core of us, pun intended. So we CAN grow, all of us, into newness & light. But we WON'T BE ABLE TO IF WE KEEP TRYING TO SHOVE OURSELVES, AND OUR RECOVERY PROCESS, INTO A "BOX" OR "NORMAL TEMPLATE." No way!! YES the workbooks ARE helpful AND accurate, BUT THEY even emphasize that EVERYONE'S MIND IS UNIQUE AND SO IS THEIR RECOVERY!! So even though there ARE key skills & basic education that DO help everyone, those tools & that knowledge MUST BE PERSONALLY UNDERSTOOD & APPLIED, ACCORDING TO WHAT WORKS FOR THAT PERSON'S UNIQUE LIFE & SITUATION. That includes us!! And THANK GOD!! So, by His Grace & with His help, LET'S RECOVER, TOGETHER.