090517

01:05 am

A psychopomp is an entity whose responsibility is to guide/escort those who have died into the afterlife. They do not judge, they simply provide safe passage. A psychopomp may also work with the opposite side of life, guiding imminently-newborn souls into the physical world.
Also, in Jungian psychology, a psychopomp is a mediator between the subconscious and conscious realms of the mind, who may also appear in dreams as a wise human or animal.
Needless to say, all of that is quite relevant to our System and our partner System as well, for quite a myriad of reasons (that have been notably present in our daily life lately).

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01:50 am

tuesday sept 5

finally got the ssi stuff done.

asian store.
moon cakes and pork buns!

BOUGHT HEARTS.

unfortunate why not pizza binge night.
NOT A TOTAL DISASTER THOUGH.
not even bad, legitimately. remember how we USED to be.
let the hungry kids get EVERYTHING they wanted and eat it, or at least try to.
super compassionate and informative, but refused to let them push too far into compulsion.
and they're LEARNING! they aren't getting tons of food anymore, nor are they forcing themselves to eat things that make them sick!
gosh we're proud of them. their healing process is so terrifying and messy and complicated but by golly they're doing it man


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02:15 am


how the light gets in.




I'm sobbing at 2am because I'm re-uploading the archives from 2008 and I forgot about that first forced integration attempt.

Dear God, I am so sorry.

...I'm blurring so hard with the cores of that time. That's where this ache is coming from.

But I cannot deny. Looking at it myself, for the first time... my heart is weeping the exact same way.

A note, from the past Jewels:

Forgive him; he had no idea what he was talking about.

A note, from me, the seraphic psychopomp:

Death is only a door.
That catastrophe planted the seeds for abundant, luminous life in this new time.
It's okay. It's all okay.
Be grateful for his blessed misunderstanding.
Be grateful for our misplaced good intentions.
Everything is ultimately woven together into a grander, beautiful design.
Everything is ultimately transmuted into gold.

These tears are born of love. This sorrow is because we matter this much to each other.
Mourning is a sacred thing. But so is letting go afterwards, with all trust and gratitude for ephemeral time.

Let this painful reminder strengthen our love in the now.
Let us treasure every moment we have together now.
Let us remember that our very existence in this hour is a testament to the victory of life even in, even through death.

I forgive. I am grateful. I am hurting and I am sobbing and I am in love.
That is the story of our collective life.

The darkness and the light are in love with each other, too, after all.

Every moment of our history brought us here.
I am entirely, unconditionally happy to be here, with all of you.
That disaster played its blessed part. It allowed FOR this.
Keep your eyes and hearts open to this truth in all things, this inherent victory in glorious defiance of all odds.

We are immortal and indomitable and we can only be such through surviving these things.
We move from death to life to death to life and the dance never stops. It never ends.

So shall we continue onwards.