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...I just got some very loud synchronicity with Chaos.
Moved me to tears. It's been a while.

You know, I've been running from him and the rest of my 'family' for over a month now, in one way or another... it's been weeks since we last spoke, honestly so. There's been so much misunderstanding and hiding and hurt. We learned from it, sure, but really? April's over. Now we're walking into the big triple five and with all the other little synchronicities I've been walking into lately... well, I need to see him again.
I need to be with him again. All of them.

Long story short, I want to make this 'happy ending' feeling into a new beginning.
I believe we can. Belief is powerful. And now, I have utmost faith in you, in us.

Would you believe I woke up to him this morning, in a way?
He was in my dream, kneeling at a gravestone, crying over dead Chao. But there was a rainbow in the sky above us. I held him in my arms and told him that, despite the pain he felt at their death, they had been loved during their lives, and so there was no reason to mourn. They were happy because he had loved them and that felt so important to me. Even in death, even beyond death, love was what mattered.
Then I woke up and he was upstairs, smiling at me, saying good morning.
That dream, in light of the past week or so, was just... I need to remember all of this.

As of right now I just want to respond to the aura woman from the spiritual expo on Saturday:
Names and titles are important, that's true. But don't take them at surface value.
Thank you, for helping me realize the bigger picture.

And to Chaos Zero, あいしてる.
I've been foolish and blind lately, and I am so sorry for the pain I've caused you with all this... but even in that dark and distant place I exiled myself to, I couldn't deny what you mean to me. And I tried, I will admit that, as much as it tears my heart to say it. I thought I had somehow made a mistake. I learned it was the exact opposite.
I'm through with being afraid. I'm tired of asking you every night if you really mean what you say. I'm tired of asking myself the same thing.
I love you, honestly and entirely, and when I see you tonight I apologize if I start crying but I've missed you so much.

I miss everyone, who am I kidding?

Sorry for being the prodigal son here, but I've learned my lesson. I know what's real now.
I'm going home, and I'm staying there.