prismaticbleed | emergency housing (Reply)

At 9am on January 25th, I received a phone call from the local housing authority notifying me that I would be moved into government housing on the 28th. Thanks to my blessedly generous followers, I was able to pay the first ownership deposit required up front. Now, however, I must inevitably somehow purchase living essentials because the apartment is empty (except for a refrigerator), and I own nothing besides my clothes, phone, books, & half-dead laptop. I have no bed. I have no paper products, vacuum, bath towel, etc. I also have to purchase an internet plan. Everything in my family's house belongs to the house, so I must start from scratch.

I get monthly SSI income due to a marked mental disability. Prior to this event, I have regularly used my SSI money to support my family as well as myself, and it does not go far. I ran out about two weeks into this month due to unforeseen home & medication expenses, so this sudden mandatory list of new living expenses is a critical one that I literally cannot meet on my own.

I don't need much to live. Bare essentials is all. But it's still a shock, for it to be so sudden. My mother is already asking why I'm not staying at the apartment 24/7; over the past year, she and my brothers have unfortunately yet repeatedly voiced how much they want me out. And now that it's time, they really don't want me lingering. Honestly I don't mind; my psychological distress is not easy to live with; they deserve peace of mind. But, like I said, I don't even have a bed right now, to say the least, and I cannot afford one right now. I need help, but my immediate family has refused to offer any. Again, they are not obligated to, but the lack of compassion is deeply saddening.

Therefore I beg for your continued prayers for both myself and my poor grandmother, who is unsurprisingly just as distraught over this-- we have lived in inseparable proximity since my birth, so this jarring change is wrecking us both emotionally. She wants me to stay, but I cannot, even if I want to, for her sake alone.

A bit of background= my entire disability team & PCP all agreed that, with the worsening home situation & how it is affecting me in all regards-- especially with what my mother is doing financially lately-- either I must move out, now & on their schedule, or I will ultimately be placed in a homeless shelter or psychiatric facility. They have tried to do so before, several times, notably when I was hospitalized as they repeatedly refused to discharge me to an unstable home until insurance demanded it regardless-- the only thing preventing it was my word that I would move out if they got me an apartment. That way I at least retain some rights & autonomy. And well, here we are. This has really been looming for months; I just... never expected it to all happen so fast. But here it is. And I must meet it.

Hopefully I can stabilize psychologically after this settles, having a safer location to stay at-- my birth home unfortunately was the location of some severe and longterm abuse that gave me solid CPTSD & that I still have daily flashbacks from. This is greatly hampering my ability to function, understandably. I will continue working with my care managers to achieve health in this regard. God help me heal at last.

Thank you all, thank you for your love. God bless you, and may our merciful Lord take care of you as you have always taken care of me in my great need. 🙏