prismaticbleed | DISTRESS TOLERANCE WORKSHEET 14 (Reply)

PLANNING FOR DIALECTICAL ABSTINENCE

Problem behavior: Restricting/ bingeing/ purging & related addictive behaviors

To maximize the chances of stopping these behaviors, you need to aim for abstinence!
Plan activities to do instead of these behaviors:

(The best activities for me involve HANDS!)
"Leagueworld" creative typing/ research; practice cello/ guzheng; watch Doctor Who (esp. Twelve); help Mom at the house; paint shirts; learn to crochet; journal; talk it out!

What people will reinforce your NOT engaging in problem behaviors, and instead engaging in effective behaviors?

Mom & Dad, Fr. P., my case manager, my dietician, church choir? cousins? POTENTIALLY apartment neighbors, ONLY if they offer support

What are some reasons to stay abstinent that you can remind yourself of?

To REGAIN freedom of will/ time/ future; to avoid crushing guilt & shame; to be part of my community; to be part of my family's shared life again; to save money; to achieve & keep good health; to not be ruled by fear & anxiety; to be able TO be my true self; to BE CREATIVE

You must burn bridges with people who represent a temptation to addiction. Who are these people?

(WRITE OUT WHICH & ALL addictions they are tied to/ also victims of)
TBAS: sex, food, stealing, lying, drugs, attention, hoarding
MC: alcohol, pornography, video games, risk, fantasy life
MEL: working, spirituality, attention, self-injury, socializing
Q: games, computers, internet, fantasy life, food restriction
JADE: alcohol, coffee, drugs, sleeping, speed, music, pornography, risk

What are some of your cues for problem behaviors?

RESTRICTING= being on the road all day; shame & guilt; exhaustion; "rebellious anger"; fears of eating near/ with others; religious scrupulosity
BINGEING= "invincible/ too happy" feelings; feelings of intense hunger/ low blood sugar; panic; overwhelm; "too many groceries"; "garbagedump self"
PURGING= feeling full; trauma flashbacks; intense fear/ anxiety/ depression; nausea; seeking "control" after perceived helplessness/ harm

What are some useful skills for you to use to avoid behavior urges?

Understanding "action urges" of emotions; longterm/ shortterm consideration; mindful action/ eating; "IMPROVE" skills; creating a schedule; pros/cons lists (tangibly put choices in right perspective, VERY helpful); activity distraction (writing/ typing engrosses thoughts & hands); RADICAL ACCEPTANCE!

Find alternative ways to rebel. These include:

(Rebel against what??)
RESTRICTING= rebel against "IMPURITY/ CONTAMINATION" = take a shower; clean/ organize house; mindfully/ compassionately acknowledge own body
BINGEING= rebel against "DEPRIVATION/ NEGLECT" = do something you enjoyed as a kid; let yourself cry/ laugh; immerse self in creativity
PURGING= rebel against "VIOLATION/ LOSS OF SELF" = list/ describe your OWN likes/ dislikes, joys/ dreams, etc; pray & focus on "eternal self"; EXPRESS self

To stay accountable, publicly announce that you have embraced abstinence and effective behavior!
Get in contact with other effective people who can help. These include:

No one yet! Potentially a social worker, therapist, or crisis hotline? Ideally I'd like to turn to family and church members BUT they currently lack education/ understanding. I still want to BE ACCOUNTABLE!
I MUST nevertheless ACTIVELY DEVELOP relationships with family & church community, maybe some neighbors (be prudent!)

The most helpful skills & handouts for me to prevent a "slip" turning into a "slide" are:

Lists of EXAMPLES of coping skill applications, positive experiences, and self-soothing techniques; skills on how to manage intense negative emotions/ destructive urges in realtime

What are some things you can say to cheerlead yourself?

"Keep going; take courage; no feeling is final, & no failure is fatal. There is ALWAYS hope."
"Forgive yourself; even babies fall when learning to walk. Keep trying-- that's how you will succeed!"

What are some extreme thoughts you might struggle with? How can you look for middle ground instead?

EXTREME= "I can't remember what "healthy" looks like; how could I ever get there?
MIDDLE= I know what is UNhealthy, and what my hopes are. That's healthy enough; start there!

EXTREME= "I am overwhelmed & distraught; I am too tired of coping to keep fighting."
MIDDLE= "I know these feelings can & will subside, even if they're intense now. Patience is fighting, too."

No matter how many times you may slip, always recommit to 100% total abstinence.

You can ALWAYS get back on track-- just don't lose hope!! And even if you do "wander far" from the right track... it's still there. You CAN find your way back; you DO know the way! Retrace your steps, and begin anew.