081113

[prismaticbleed]

 

 

i'm scared

i shouldn't be though

people make scary noises and do scary things

i'm shaking and i want to cry on the inside not the outside

scared to sleep again. dont want to go in there.
what do i do
i cant sleep
not safe
im so tired of this

god im sorry

i wish i had one friend, ONE FRIEND,
who actually cared even if im scary
and would help me somehow

but thats stupid and selfish isnt it
"no one can save you but yourself"

i know

but what if i just want a friend
is that so bad too
is that so selfish to want someone to care
i hate it
i hate myself for even asking
and getting in peoples way
and making them not smile
im sorry
i keep ruining their lives.

i dont want to though.
they just keep telling me i am.

i chased away the one friend
i said go dont let me hurt you more
she said okay and goodbye forever she went
but now im stupid upset because no friends
no one to talk to when scared

"you need a social support group"
i dont know how
how do i do it are they nice?
do they hurt me are they scary
do they listen or just talk at me all the time
do they get angry at me when im scared

why are friends so confusing

ayway thats not important
whats improtant is the fact that im scared and sick
i dont wanna go in there
but im so tired
i want to sleep but i DONT WANT TO GO IN THERE

whre do i go

sorry not supposed to updaet

everything is dead

upstairs is gone, it all dead
dead
gone and dead
so maybe we can work it was working?
but now triggers back cant work.
tahts why im on here
trigger bad make upstairs people talk again
otherwise no

cant sleep want to sleep tired sick scared

goodbye