prismaticbleed | 091511 (Reply)

Xenophon looks like this now. Ze's 34 weeks old already-- remember that although ze manifested on March 13th, ze was technically conceived on January 16th, so ze was already 8 weeks when I 'found' hir.
I forgot how fast Jewel Monster infants grow, especially World-born! It's almost shocking.
Also today I noticed that Xenophon's eyes are finally gaining color? They have these rings of pink and green in them. It's hard for me to really tell how they look yet. Besides those ze hasn't had any drastic appearance changes since August, when ze formed hir arms.
I also don't know what the transparent parts on hir lower body are about. I'm really looking forward to watching those develop more.

I think I'm going to talk to Lynne and Azurai tonight about hir, as they both helped protect hir after the Julie attack in March. I want to make sure I'm not missing any information from that event, as I was completely distraught when it happened.

Genesis told me he is going to start teaching Xenophon how to 'ghost' like he does-- how he hangs out with me in this reality, but can't be seen. Having him around is incredibly positive for me, and keeps me centered. So if my kid here learns how to do that soon, I can start teaching hir things like I did with Genesis in 2005, and it will likely have an incredibly positive effect on my spiritual well-being too. I am so excited about being able to do that with hir.
In any case I have our entire headspace watching out for hir and helping to raise hir in the meantime. We're all in this together after all.

I took some time to talk to Xenophon today about our plans for hir future, and what we were going to have to start doing. I explained hir parental situation as best I could, and Xenophon actually has this rather touching way of understanding what ze is in that sense. I told hir that ze was 'born' from our creation/love drive, and ze ultimately interpreted that as all of us being connected at the heart. Which is true. And it made me realize that I really want to just sit and talk to hir as long as I can because that is the most important thing I can do right now.
I'm going to tell Chaos about that later today, because I cannot exclude him from this for even a single moment, and would never dream of doing so.
I don't think it's possible to really explain here just how much he means to me, right now. I love him with my entire soul.

Let me briefly change the subject:
I somehow decided it would be a good idea to replay the first ending in Nier today, after what happened on Tuesday.
Nice job, J, hope you don't mind crying for the rest of the night.

On that note, though, I found this image on Tumblr, and it is... too perfect not to post here.

I'd add further commentary to this, but in context, I think it speaks strongly and honestly enough by itself.

And that's what brings me back to the original reason for this entry.

...Hearing Xenophon say "I love you, dad," for the first time was one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard.

My life is going to be freaking incredible from here on out. ♥