phone entries = aug 2024

080424
Is my destruction addiction with food an EXTERNALIZED PROJECTION of my awful rage-desire to DESTROY MY SIN & GUILT???? IS THAT WHY IT'S FOCUSED ON TRAUMA FOODS????

Abraham's cutting the animals in covenant ritual = "may this happen to me if I break it" = a WHOLE split in HALF, but UNABLE to become two separate wholes!! After the Covenant is made, splitting back apart means being CUT IN TWO, which causes DEATH.
For GOD to do this too is to imply that WE ARE PART OF HIM NOW?? and if he were to cut us off, He would somehow be split? THIS IS BECAUSE OF THE INCARNATION seeded at the beginning of time, and attested to even in Abraham.
And God WANTS THIS. He KEEPS MAKING COVENANTS with mankind, until Christ BECOMES the Covenant in Himself ETERNALLY.
⭐PAIN/ SUFFERING/ BLOOD/ SACRIFICE IS INTRINSIC TO COVENANT IN A FALLEN WORLD. The "getting back online with God" is PAINFUL as it requires "twisting back into shape" what is deformed?
Animals suffering in our place = Christ figure = meant to inspire MERCY & REPENTANCE as a FRUIT of it?? LOVE as the TRUE "CURE" for sin, baked into the ritual, prophesying CHRIST

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080524
Cheese addiction = because eating it at upmc made iscah a GOOD GIRL

Crunchy food = VIOLENT RAGE / FRUSTRATED HELPLESS TEARS outlet, salt & sweet respectively

Spicy food = self abuse analogue (burning)

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0813
Read some of the archives from 2012, 2014, & 2017

I feel more alive & in love right now than I have in months. Maybe years.

Thank God for us

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0829

⭐ASK "WHY AM I COMMITTING THIS SIN?"
LOOK INTO THE EXTERNAL BEHAVIORS & FIND THE ROOTS

(JAMES 4)

⭐sow a thought, reap a FEELING!! they DON'T "just happen"!!
⭐sow thought, reap a deed
sow a deed, reap a habit
sow a habit, reap a character
sow a character, reap a destiny
‼️SEVEN DEADLY THOUGHTS = sin begins in the ATTITUDE??? (MIND)