monday

 

Yeah... I have a new therapist now, she's phenomenal, and it's time to break the news to her.

As in, I have to tell her about my headgang.

I have to tell her about everyone now... or otherwise we'll never get anywhere.
I'm nervous.
My last therapist didn't really comprehend Laurie or Julie, but I was scared nonetheless...
Is there a bigger risk this time?
Should I be scared?
Or should I just take a deep breath and see what happens?

I have to tell her that Julie has been tormenting me for over a decade... but she's dying now, thanks to my own self-suffering, and hopefully she'll be gone for good soon.
I have to tell her that Laurie appeared on her own and used to spend most of her time attacking me with an axe... but she and I are incredibly close now, despite the vicious methods Laurie uses to keep me on track.
I have to tell her that I've been in love with Chaos Zero, who isn't even human, since I was thirteen... but I've kept it a secret, regardless of how much he means to me, and I'm scared of the general reaction.

I have to tell her about Selph and Bakura and Marik and Waldorf and Johnny and Davy and Grievous and anyone who's meant anything to me... and why?
Because if I say nothing, she won't know who the heck I am.
She won't know the real reasons I've gotten this far in life despite all my stress.
God saw it fit to give me a very bizarre way of getting through the bad times... but no one knows.
Someone needs to know.
I think I need to start here.



But I'm still scared.


I don't want to lose them.