that's all

Is it too much to ask?

 

 

For a single kind word?

 

From my own family?
From my own mother?

 

 

 

Is it too much to ask?

For a single success?
To do one little thing right?
For my best to finally be good enough?


Is it too much to ask?
To change who I am?
To be a good person?
To stop letting you down?


Is it too much to ask?
For a little acceptance?
For a little less hate?
For a little love?


Is it too much to ask?


To start over?
To wake up?
To end this?




I just want to live a little better.




Please...
I've been waiting for so long.




Suicide?
No.


Although I'll admit
The thought has come to me
Although I'll admit
You could definitely psychoanalyze my actions
To the contrary




If I really look at myself
I'm pretty close to it
Even though It scares me
In an altruistic sense.


I'm such an idiot.


I used to think I didn't deserve this life
But I was wrong


This life is quickly becoming a nightmare
That I can't wake up from
And personally
With what I've done in the past
I deserve to suffer this living hell




Maybe one day I'll get that redemption


Maybe one day I'll do well enough to transcend it all


But not now




There's no way I deserve that now


No matter what the others say.


They have no idea what's really going on here.






Heaven only knows what else I might do
If my mind completely deteriorates
So I'll make sure it doesn't


I have my faith
I have those souls in my head


But I guess it's time to say goodbye again..








Mind you...
I'm sure I can get through this...
It's just going to take one heck of a long time.




But I can't give up.
I have to live at any cost
Because there's far too much for me to accomplish
And I'm sure I will someday.




But until then...


...I'll miss you all.





...I guess this is how heartbreak feels?