122023

[prismaticbleed]

 

Dream hack
Absolutely ruins our body & mind. Could barely get out of bed
SO weak & tired. Running to church was arduous.
Card stops
Exhausted. Literally limping from weakness

Mom call for tomorrow plans

BK @ 2pm.


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abbodfer =
"That’s the funny thing. Even when we’re doing what God wants us to do, sometimes things still go wrong. And keep going wrong. Our job is to do our best even when everything’s wrong."
Oh man this is SO IMPORTANT FOR US TO REMEMBER.
We tend to literally freak out at misfortune & mishaps, assuming they are punishment FROM God for NOT doing His Will, well enough or at all, even if we were trying.
...

Passion =
"[The hours of the Passion are] the door in time through which eternity entered man’s darkest caverns. They mark the moments that the Navigator descended into the deepest waters to leave anchor points for His followers...
For the life blackened with failure, that Friday means forgiveness. For the heart scarred with futility, that Friday means purpose. And for the soul looking into this side of the tunnel of death, that Friday means deliverance."
1) It stuns me that eternity wanted to enter into those caverns. Wouldn't that "taint" the Divine Mind, I instinctively worry? Wouldn't God's entrance into them make their darkness eternal too, by now entering eternal awareness? Shouldn't they have been left alone, doomed to temporal decay, unknown to divinity, left to die and rot? But no, God is beyond my understanding. He chose to enter that darkness because it CANNOT corrupt Him, it CANNOT hurt or ruin Him, and why? Because darkness is the absence of light. God IS pure infinite Light. When He chose to open that historic door and Personally enter man's misery, His Very Presence transmuted everything on impact.
2) The Cross is THE anchor, for every soul-ship.
In any case I love this metaphor.
...
3) Forgiveness for failures.
4) The Passion gives purpose to "futile lives." Futility means "incapable of producing result; empty, worthless." Sounds like me.
...
The Cross is eternally & unstoppably efficacious. The Cross is of infinite worth, rich with meaning and power. I don't doubt any of that.
But how does it give my futile life a purpose?
Consider that Jesus died on that Cross FOR ME.
...
5)

MDE =
""...When [we] revere the Eucharist and [we] hear the words, “This is My Body, this is My Blood"... if we are disciples of Jesus, we will also recall what He said after He pronounced the words. He said, “Do this in memory of Me" ...not only to repeat the Consecration to bring His Body and Blood on the altar... [but] to also do as He did, offer our own bodies and blood for the salvation of all... so that as the Body and Blood of Christ [is] present on the altar, [our] body and blood [is] also offered to the Lord and to each one of us.
The Mass must never end. Each one of us has to go forth from this place and lift Jesus higher so that the whole world can be converted to love the Body and Blood of Jesus."
1) Oh man I never realized that "DO THIS" command had such depth, because I never realized that it pertains to Christ offering His Body-- and WE ARE PART OF THAT BODY. So yes, we MUST offer ourselves with Him, through Him, in Him-- and "in memory of Him," meaning with Christ's motivation and purpose, not thinking of ourselves but of Him.
2) Why are we poor sinful mortal men even allowed to join in Christ’s redemptive Sacrifice, by His Own invitation no less? My only explanation is Love. It's the unity of hearts. When we are reborn in Christ, baptized into His Death, we are already given our place within Him on the Cross... but we also join in His Love for all mankind, and yearn TO give ourselves for their sake and God's, because Love cannot bear to do any less! Jesus's allowing us to fuse our own suffering with His, therefore, is actually a gift of great tenderness. He gives us the means & opportunity to love as He does.
3) Christ's offering, AND ours with Him, are always offered first & foremost to God BUT THEN ALWAYS GIVEN TO HIS PEOPLE. Just like every Paschal Sacrifice-- that lamb became food! That is KEY to how we must think of our Christian lives. If we are one with Christ, then we too are Eucharist. In this very regard--
4) --The Mass must never end. That's AMAZING and it's LITERALLY TRUE. The Cross is eternal, Heaven is eternal, Love is eternal, and all of that is bound up in the Mass on earth, offered thousands of times per day! But it goes deeper: Christ is the eternal Priest, and we as His Body-- we ARE the Church, and therefore are the REAL "location" of the Mass, not just the physical buildings we gather in! Our HEARTS are altars.
...
5) People can't love Jesus as an idea, or a story, or a historical figure. We just read about this yesterday. Jesus is a LIVING PERSON, RIGHT NOW, IN HEAVEN AND IN THE CHURCH. Are we seeking converts? Do we want people to love Jesus? Sure, but how are we presenting Him? Are we making Him known as He IS-- as Flesh and Blood, as a Real Presence, as God and Man, HERE, NOW? Are we bringing people into a religion, or a relationship?
People need to love Jesus's BODY AND BLOOD. They need to love Him as Jesus, as God Incarnate, and PRESENT with us TODAY.


EGJ =
"In these final days of Advent, we are called to prepare our hearts and minds to be blown away. The love that is coming to us and seeks to move through us is a life force that cannot be contained by us. Are we ready to jump into its flow?
...May we share God's love, mercy, and joy on earth as it is in heaven."
1) We have to prepare to be overwhelmed. What a beautiful paradox. We really do severely underestimate the sheer power & magnitude of God's Love coming to us at Christmas. Our foolish and worldly hearts think they know what love is. We point to our Hallmark movies, our family dinners, our piles of presents, our holiday playlists, our photo albums of cherished memories... we say we know what love is at Christmas, for sure. But we really don't. We can't even imagine. Admitting this mortal incapacity actually makes Advent truly amazing, because now we ironically "get" how HUGE the power of this arriving Love is.
2) Jesus's arrival is not static. It's not a mangers scene to admire. His very Presence demands participation. In what? In Him! God, although above & outside all things, does not exclude Himself from His Creation. In Jesus, He becomes the most important and essential part of it. Christ "unites all things IN Himself."
Everything about Jesus is relational; all His work is sacrifice and service. God is Trinity; Christ was born to bring all humanity into their Love, through the Cross. But my point is: in Christ, God Who Is Love desires to move through us. Love MUST do that! Love cannot keep to itself; it must flow, must connect, must give, must share. Christ comes to us so He can live IN us, uniting us TO Himself, unwilling to be separate from us, desiring to share His very Life Force of Love with us.
3) Love cannot be contained. This is obvious. But God IS Love and He created the cosmos! So, by nature, Love actually exists outside of all possible containers. It's limitless, infinite.
Trying to contain it, control it, keep it to ourselves, etc. is not only doomed to fail, it is also proof that we don't know what love really is, and in our proud attempts to possess it we WILL "lose it."
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4) Like blood and water, Love must flow. Otherwise it is denatured, and our capacity for it is "destroyed". Love is God; invincible and indestructible. Nevertheless, "neither" can dwell in a selfish, hateful, stubborn, faithless heart. Such a heart might "feel" like God/Love don't exist, but this is false. They are just entirely out of frequency.
I'm off topic. We also can't make Love flow into us. It can't be controlled. All we can do is recognize its Source-- God-- and dive into Him heart-first, as it were.

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VOTD = 1 Chronicles 16:10.
"Glory and exult in God's Holy Name! Celebrate and worship His Holy Name with all your heart."
As Christians, we NEED to CONSTANTLY "glory in God's Name," which means in WHO HE IS-- to exalt IN that Truth, for HIS glory, grateful that HE is our God.
"Tell God: "because of Who You Are, I'm seeking You." Yet even when you wander and go astray, God is faithful to keep you in His hands, because He loves you and calls you His Own."
Thank Him for that, for always keeping you close, for always being Present to you. Rejoice in His Name. Sing to Him. Tell someone about what God has done for you. Proclaim His greatness. Pause and reflect in awe of His beauty.
This is all WORSHIP!! It's defined by JOY & GRATITUDE & LOVE.
And we do NOT do this anywhere near often. Our religion is still too tainted with servile fear. Ironically, that's BECAUSE we don't consider His NAME in TRUTH!! It's not just "God," you idiot, you know how many demons like to appropriate that same title!! It's NOT A NAME. But the ONE TRUE GOD, the God of Israel, the Father of Christ Jesus, the God Who saved you from death and claimed you as His Own child-- HE has a NAME, an ineffable, sacred, adorable, holy, incomprehensible Name, and yet a Name revealed to us in brilliant glimpses throughout Scripture. And I don't mean "Lord of Hosts" or any such descriptors. I mean what Moses heard at the burning bush. I mean what Elijah heard on the mountain. I mean what Joseph called the Child.
And you NEED to remember that Name, and EXULT in it, for His sake!!

This bit from the None hour actually helps with this reflection=
"I will pasture my sheep, I will show them where to rest– it is the Lord Who speaks. I shall look for the lost one, bring back the stray, bandage the wounded and make the weak strong. I shall be a true shepherd to them."
That's what God is like.
He looks for you, brings you back, bandages you, strengthens you. Is there any yelling, scolding, beating, shaming? No. You're just a poor wounded frightened stupid sheep, and He loves you, darn it.


From the written reflection =
"Life isn’t perfect; there's pain, suffering, and grief we all must endure. Jesus experienced similar trials in His life! But none of our difficult experiences alter the goodness of God. He remains good, remains present, and strengthens us in our suffering. He always listens, and always cares. God is always worthy of your praise."
"Thank Him for the breath you have, the life you live, and all the blessings you (and others) experience. Ask yourself: What are some things I can thank God for today? How can I praise His Name with my life?"
1)



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From a reading plan I just started spontaneously=

“God is love. Love is not simply a quality that God possesses; it is His very nature... Unger’s Bible Dictionary defines love as “selfless and sacrificial. It is active, and dissatisfied if not blessing others."... God took action, and sent His only begotten Son into the world to bless us, so that we might live through His Sacrifice— this is the very definition of what love is."
...

"Love is God’s highest attribute, the one in which all others harmoniously blend... He is the Source and Resource of all Love. It is His very essence, which has been manifested toward us in Christ... God’s love is directed toward us, and He pours it directly into us."
...

"Catholic priest Henri Nouwen wrote that Jesus’ whole message is that you are God’s beloved child. When you know that in your heart, everything turns around. You were loved before you were born, and you will be loved after you die. You are loved for eternity. God’s love for you is inexhaustible!"
...

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Two takes on the first Reading, from Universalis. Youversion, & Flame of Love =

"The prophecy in this first reading was given in 736 BC, when King Ahaz of Judah was about to be forced into an alliance, in a vain attempt to oppose the crushing military power of Babylon. Isaiah goes to Ahaz and warns him that the alliance would be fatal: he had better trust in the LORD. Isaiah promises a sign, which Ahaz refuses. He does not want to be convinced!
Ahaz uses the verb “test” in its negative sense of “challenge, provoke.” However, this is false piety, a smokescreen designed to cover up his lack of faith in the Lord.
Lord, we are often given signs, and like King Ahaz, we can be purposely dense and even show false humility, not believing You would ever speak to us, when really we are just tuned out and ill disposed."

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I'm very unhappy. I'm so tired of typing. It feels so shallow & proud & pretentious. It's not "me." Those girls have taken over.
I'm so tired & sick & sad. I want to weep. I want Jesus, not all this talk. Please, just give me Jesus. I don't want anything else.