121623

[prismaticbleed]

 

Slept in until 10am dude!!
Body was just SO EXHAUSTED and in a LOT of pain.

Worried about schedule rush, but put it into God's Hands.
He inspired us to actually pray our DVM & STM chaplets WITH FELIX, while we biked.
OH MAN WHY DID WE NEVER DO THIS EARLIER
It literally BYPASSES THE OCD. It puts us in "listener mode" and therefore DOESN'T ENGAGE THE THOUGHTS. Instead, our mind is FREE to IMAGINE IMAGES, therefore ENABLING us to ACTUALLY meditate on the mysteries & intentions, and NOT LOOPING PRAYERS out of technical recitation error panic.
So we got both done in... 35 minutes. COMPARED TO ~80 MINUTES ON OUR OWN.
So thank You God for using this unexpected morning rush to your absolute Glory and Praise!!

BK prep went perfectly too. Only regret was that MOM CALLED the INSTANT we needed to oil the frypan or it would burn, so we had to rush the call conclusion. Nevertheless, thanks to the grace God has given us through conscience convictions and Confession, we are now ACTIVELY AWARE of how we talk on the phone and we make a PRESENT EFFORT to be as attentive and kind a listener as possible, and to NOT BE A PESSIMISTIC BOOR when we speak!

BK at 1240, which gives us just enough time to walk to SJE later.
Not sure if we're going to go to Confession today, or wait until the Deanery service on Thursday. We'll ask the Spirit. In any case we NEED to examine our conscience HONESTLY first. No making up sins, no assuming we did everything wrong just in case!!

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The Youversion guided prayer immediately knocking me out of the park =
“l am loved, because God is love.”
That's it. That's actually everything. It's as simple and absolute and beautiful as that.

"You are greatly loved by the God who is Love, and who sent His only Son to show you love. You are not alone."
That word "show" is standing out to me, because it specifically refers to the humanity of Christ.

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From BST.

"God knows you inside and out (Psalm 139:1-4). He is not deceived by appearances (1 Samuel 16:7). He cannot lie (Titus 1:2). What God says about you in His Word is unvarnished, rock-solid fact. In a world full of uncertainty, there is comfort and strength in knowing the unchanging truth of who you are in Christ."
1) My first thought = "I can't appropriate all those verses to ME! That's taking them out of context and being proud!!"
What, so God won't deal with you in the same way He has dealt with every other human being throughout history?
If "in Adam all die," then are you not already in the OT, as you are united to all of mankind by flesh & blood? And if "in Christ all are made alive," then are not you already in the NT, as you are part of the Church united in Christ's Body that transforms your flesh & blood through His Own?
What I'm trying to say is= you are never isolated from others. You are no exemption from common experience. You are just another human. Simple as that. Isn't that a profound comfort? Isn't that such a deep relief you could cry from gratitude? You're NOT the aberration! You're NOT the foreign body, the infection, the unknown and unwanted intruder! You're JUST ANOTHER HUMAN.
And that means Christ can save you, too.
It also means that yes, you are part of the collective human story, and as such, you ARE part of the Bible! Remember that commentary on John 12? "think of human life, the common life we are all leading... that common stock and harvest of experience... It is very surprising, when you get deep enough, to discover the oneness of all human hearts." Isn't that what Christ is about-- unity of individuals? In Him we are all One, yet we are all each other still. It's a beautiful mystery.
OH! But the Psalms themselves answer this inquiry! They were written by David, AS David, speaking from his own heart and experience-- and yet they are also PROPHETIC, as they speak of CHRIST'S experiences yet to come in history... and which would then become APPLICABLE TO US as His Church IN HIM!! You see? You CAN apply the Psalms to yourself, as a Christian!
2) But then, "I'm not Jesus." So those prophetic Psalms DON'T apply to me in that respect... or do they?? If Christ wants to live IN me, if He is actually transforming me "into His likeness," then isn't it possible that His Life will be echoed in mine, and therefore also the Psalms? That's up to God. But you already know, from the Divine Office, how so many Psalms CAN speak from your own heart. Don't deny that just because other nousfoni pray them. We, too, are a united whole.
3) God doesn't change. However He dealt with humanity in ages past, He deals with me, now. I am no different from any other human. The only "difference" is that caused by grace, the grace that blessed the Patriarchs & Saints of old, and blesses us poor Christians now. But God works it all. He speaks to us all the same, all of us His sheep, either secure or straying.
4) The most important words: IN CHRIST. That affects EVERYTHING, as was alluded to. Yes you are a human, yes you were born a poor doomed descendant of Adam, like every other person on earth, sharing in that "common stock & harvest," just another man along men. And then you were baptized. In the incubator, no less! You barely had any time in your first birth, living under the reign of death, before Christ arrived in triumph and poured out His ocean of mercy upon your tiny head. From that instant on, you were reborn, remade in His Image. Why am I reiterating this? Because THAT'S YOUR REAL IDENTITY. Even so far back, it overrules everything that came after. Christ transcends time. Your later sins and straying do not unmake you. Your later abuses and addictions do not erase that indelible cross on your forehead. Your permanent, actual, eternal, undeniable, intrinsic identity is IN CHRIST. That's it, that's everything, and it's pure joy. No matter what happens, no matter what anyone says, you belong to Jesus. He chose you for Himself within hours after your surgical birth, refusing to lose you, and He will never let you go. Your true self is safely anchored and rooted in Him. Ponder that.


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I just got this article from Propel Women and THIS is the opening paragraph =
"How are we supposed to grapple with personal failures? Why do we often feel like we are the failure, or even worse–like we’ve failed God? When we open the Bible, we find stories of men and women who failed terribly, yet God used them despite their shortcomings. Not only did God restore their lives, but He worked all things for their good (including the setbacks and personal failures). Proverbs 24:16 offers this wisdom: “For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.” Applying this to our lives, we need to recognize that if we fall, we must get back up. We cannot wallow in our failures, and stay down. You might have fallen due to past failures or traumas, yet the Lord is calling you to “rise again” from the guilt, frustration, and condemnation which has led so many to stay down and out. The Lord still has more for you to do, and through repentance and our willingness to rise up again to follow Him, He wipes our histories clean and keeps working in and through us towards the future. It’s not the falling down but the getting up again that ultimately matters."
1) ...You have no idea how badly I needed to hear this hope phrased like this.
All the real hope, all the hope I've desperately needed and sought for, has been right there in the Bible all along.
How did I miss that? Does this tie into the previous self-argument, with so many "up front foni" thinking that they actually are an exception to the common promises, that Scripture has some "fine print" somewhere that rules them out?  Probably. I mean, we pray Psalm 51 and 13 CONSTANTLY, as the cry of our own heart, but somehow we never "realized" that they are real historical lamentations of a man who had sinned almost as badly as we have? And God DID deliver him from death! So why not us? Why do we pray those Psalms as contrite confessions, yet never seem to fully expect that God could, or rather would, deliver us too? Why? Are we just that unable to forgive ourselves? "At Christmas??" Seriously, have you never noticed that God is absolutely willing and able to completely forgive & restore ALL sinners who repent? He DOESN'T want you to die!!
Think of Laurie. Think of Chaos 0. Think of how they love you, imperfectly but with all their hearts. How do THEY treat you when you fall & mess up? And you think God loves you any less? No, their love for you is FROM God, and OF God, and HE loves you WITH THAT SAME LOVE, but in absolutely pure perfection. Does THAT change how you view God at your lowest? Does THAT change how you see yourself when you fall?
It must. Otherwise you are doomed, and only then.
2) You haven't failed God because He never expected you to be sinless. To think otherwise is appallingly prideful, and THAT will kill you, NOT your mortal weakness. Dare I remind you of "O Happy Fault?" Are you greater than Adam and Eve, you poor fool? No. You KNOW you've sinned, and terribly. You cannot deny that. So what are you doing? "God expected better from me." I don't think God is putting "expectations" on you, kid. And in any case, His Love is unconditional, and His Mercy endless. Does that make you feel better? That even if you did "let Him down," He's just waiting with open Arms for you to return to Him, so He can give you a second chance at life? Are you not the Prodigal Son? Even if you were the lost sheep, He would still come looking for you, and would rejoice when He found you, gently setting you free from the brambles and carrying you home singing. Where is the angry scolding you fear? Where is the passive-aggressive shunning you dread? Where is the acidic criticism, the threats and penalties, the actual physical beatings to "teach you better"? They're nowhere to be seen. God doesn't do that. Were the thorns and the pigsty not torments enough? Isn't what you truly need right now just a safe warm hug from your understanding Father? You don't want to go astray again; you're sorry you ever left, if you could take it all back you could, if you could give it all back you would, but you've got nothing but a broken heart and broken body and calendars full of regrets. God runs to meet you anyway. God kisses you anyway. God welcomes you home without a second thought. He never expected perfection of you, just perseverance. And here you are, after all.