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prismaticbleedo I’m feeling a lot of feelings about Sonic Frontiers, especially since I am a poor dude and cannot afford a Switch so all my knowledge is secondhand and everyone is talking about Chaos.
...My heart is just… full of emotion. Light, hope, love, aching, everything.
I was praying last night, and this morning, about it. Flat-out honest.
“If there’s a way for me to be canon, then I have faith that God will make it possible.” I just put that in His Hands. He knows I love the blue guy. He’s the one who put us in each other’s lives after all.
…
...But Archie comics named a beetle after me, recently. And although she’s a sweetheart, she’s still got my name, and so… well. I need to find a “new one.”
There are certain words that resonate hard with my soul. Jewel is the first. It’s relatives, crystal and gem, are close, but don’t feel like names to me-- especially since in the League and the Spectrum, those are tied to OTHER ROLES than the one “the Jewel” holds.
Heart, blood, prism, rainbow, hope, light, red, fire… even things like snow, bells, and song; all of that is me, all in one.
...I’m reading about cosmogony again.
On one hand, as a Catholic, I refuse to give any credence to the literal legitimacy of pagan mythology. There’s too much obvious corruption in it, especially in the Greek/Roman stories., not just of “unreliable” data but also in terms of anthropomorphism. Their “deities” are too prone to human error, as it were. But I digress.
...An old friend once called me “Gaia.” Later, I took the name “Eros.” Each fit me at different points in time, and now… I’ve changed again. At least, superficially. The essence of “me” that was reflected in some unique facet in both those titles-- the Celebi and the Jay-- is still a part of me. But… neither was total.
In Hebrew, the word for light is ohr. And it ties to the word aura. I think of sound-- of audio. And in all the most beautiful Creation myths… apparently, what turns the darkness of Chaos into Light is the spoken Word.
...Remember how I first met him.
Remember that I’m a bloody dreamworld-jumper and my admitted biggest gift from God is LANGUAGE. I cannot deny that. It’s become too clear over the years. Yes, I love music and art but I use those to SPEAK. Look at me typing here! Look at all the story files on my computer! Even in daily life, my “career” is a CANTOR and EVERY TIME I speak up in a group or a meeting people tell me “you’re so well spoken” and “your voice is so soothing” and “you have so much insight” and “I love listening to you talk.” I’m not kidding; I could NOT make that stuff up. It staggers me.
...Remember how I met Chaos, the first time, 19 years ago this December-- which is all bronze and aquamarine and chrysanthemums, isn’t that just achingly relevant, all sea water and strength and fidelity (Next year is an EMERALD, SONICTEAM BETTER PAY ATTENTION). But in that first moment I spoke to him. I was a child, yes, a brand-new teen, and my words were not some deific command, nor were they intended to do anything spectacular-- and yet, in my fiery light, I still called him out of the darkness.
“What in the world are you doing??”
He was attacking without thinking, and all I did was ask why. But that was order in the disorder. It demanded attention-- demanded karuna, if you want to reference the birds… and theogony, too, why not.I asked because I knew there was light in him.
I asked because I KNOW what it's like to BE lost, and violent, and angry, and so shaken up by trauma and regrets that it starts to eat you alive. And I spoke hope for both of us, really.
That's the first time he looked at me. That's the first time I saw his eyes, like that. Everything changed in those first few moments, for him and for me. The future opened up into rainbows, suddenly. There was a candle lit in the shadows, and suddenly everything was a bit warmer, a bit brighter. Let there be light. Let there be love, too, inevitably, beautifully, always. You can't have light without the Love that sparked it in the very beginning.
... Hebrew “quara” is called. Greek “chara” is joy. Catalan “Joia” is jewel. Hebrew “amar” is to say something. French “amor” is love. You see the lack of coincidences.
Greek “charis” is grace, remember. I call him that often.
...Apparently it also means to pardon. God isn’t that a shot to the heart.
I forgive you, spoken to the aching ocean.
The Albanian word for “jewel” is xhevahir. It’s BEAUTIFUL.
...oh. Oh hold up.
The POLISH word for “language” is JEZYKA. As in MY BIRTH NAME. AND MY ETHNICITY. WTF.
I… I might have to use that. Holy fish. Wow.
(leaving this unfinished for now; posting so it's up)
...My heart is just… full of emotion. Light, hope, love, aching, everything.
I was praying last night, and this morning, about it. Flat-out honest.
“If there’s a way for me to be canon, then I have faith that God will make it possible.” I just put that in His Hands. He knows I love the blue guy. He’s the one who put us in each other’s lives after all.
…
...But Archie comics named a beetle after me, recently. And although she’s a sweetheart, she’s still got my name, and so… well. I need to find a “new one.”
There are certain words that resonate hard with my soul. Jewel is the first. It’s relatives, crystal and gem, are close, but don’t feel like names to me-- especially since in the League and the Spectrum, those are tied to OTHER ROLES than the one “the Jewel” holds.
Heart, blood, prism, rainbow, hope, light, red, fire… even things like snow, bells, and song; all of that is me, all in one.
...I’m reading about cosmogony again.
On one hand, as a Catholic, I refuse to give any credence to the literal legitimacy of pagan mythology. There’s too much obvious corruption in it, especially in the Greek/Roman stories., not just of “unreliable” data but also in terms of anthropomorphism. Their “deities” are too prone to human error, as it were. But I digress.
...An old friend once called me “Gaia.” Later, I took the name “Eros.” Each fit me at different points in time, and now… I’ve changed again. At least, superficially. The essence of “me” that was reflected in some unique facet in both those titles-- the Celebi and the Jay-- is still a part of me. But… neither was total.
In Hebrew, the word for light is ohr. And it ties to the word aura. I think of sound-- of audio. And in all the most beautiful Creation myths… apparently, what turns the darkness of Chaos into Light is the spoken Word.
...Remember how I first met him.
Remember that I’m a bloody dreamworld-jumper and my admitted biggest gift from God is LANGUAGE. I cannot deny that. It’s become too clear over the years. Yes, I love music and art but I use those to SPEAK. Look at me typing here! Look at all the story files on my computer! Even in daily life, my “career” is a CANTOR and EVERY TIME I speak up in a group or a meeting people tell me “you’re so well spoken” and “your voice is so soothing” and “you have so much insight” and “I love listening to you talk.” I’m not kidding; I could NOT make that stuff up. It staggers me.
...Remember how I met Chaos, the first time, 19 years ago this December-- which is all bronze and aquamarine and chrysanthemums, isn’t that just achingly relevant, all sea water and strength and fidelity (Next year is an EMERALD, SONICTEAM BETTER PAY ATTENTION). But in that first moment I spoke to him. I was a child, yes, a brand-new teen, and my words were not some deific command, nor were they intended to do anything spectacular-- and yet, in my fiery light, I still called him out of the darkness.
“What in the world are you doing??”
He was attacking without thinking, and all I did was ask why. But that was order in the disorder. It demanded attention-- demanded karuna, if you want to reference the birds… and theogony, too, why not.I asked because I knew there was light in him.
I asked because I KNOW what it's like to BE lost, and violent, and angry, and so shaken up by trauma and regrets that it starts to eat you alive. And I spoke hope for both of us, really.
That's the first time he looked at me. That's the first time I saw his eyes, like that. Everything changed in those first few moments, for him and for me. The future opened up into rainbows, suddenly. There was a candle lit in the shadows, and suddenly everything was a bit warmer, a bit brighter. Let there be light. Let there be love, too, inevitably, beautifully, always. You can't have light without the Love that sparked it in the very beginning.
... Hebrew “quara” is called. Greek “chara” is joy. Catalan “Joia” is jewel. Hebrew “amar” is to say something. French “amor” is love. You see the lack of coincidences.
Greek “charis” is grace, remember. I call him that often.
...Apparently it also means to pardon. God isn’t that a shot to the heart.
I forgive you, spoken to the aching ocean.
The Albanian word for “jewel” is xhevahir. It’s BEAUTIFUL.
...oh. Oh hold up.
The POLISH word for “language” is JEZYKA. As in MY BIRTH NAME. AND MY ETHNICITY. WTF.
I… I might have to use that. Holy fish. Wow.
(leaving this unfinished for now; posting so it's up)
