SELF-COMPASSION WORKBOOK: SELF-IMAGE IDEAL

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WE'VE NEVER CONSIDERED MOST OF THESE BUT THEY ARE ESSENTIAL-- AND DIRECTLY RELEVANT TO US AS A SYSTEM!!

♡ A "compassionate self-image" is YOUR OWN personal ideal: what YOU would REALLY like from feeling cared for and cared about!!!

♡ Focus on certain qualities:

• WISDOM
• STRENGTH
• WARMTH
• NON-JUDGMENT

What specific colors are associated with these qualities?
What would these qualities look, sound, and feel like?
Let this data come to you NATURALLY, letting information emerge in your mind on its own, without judging or forcing.


♡ Other questions to ask concerning a "compassionate self-image" and "building" one if needed:

• Remember your 'image' brings FULL compassion TO you and FOR you!
• Would you want your caring image to feel/ look/ seem old or young, male or female (or neither), human or nonhuman (animal, sea, light, etc.)?
• How would you like your ideal caring 'image' to look, concerning visual qualities?
• How would you like your ideal caring image to sound (i.e., voice tone)?
• What other sensory qualities can you give to it?
• Would your 'image' have gone through similar experiences to you?
• Would they be like a friend, or even part of a team that welcomes you to belong?
• How would you like your ideal caring 'image' to relate to you?
• How would YOU like to relate to your ideal 'image?'

♡ DO ALL OF THIS WITH JESUS-- THE ONLY TRUE IDEAL, AND PERFECTION OF ALL EARTHLY IDEALS-- AND WRITE ABOUT IT. We feel/ fear that we don't "know Him" well or truly enough. This WILL help deepen our relationship.
Remember that since these "ideal images" are supposed to be SUPERHUMAN, based on perfect ideals, then this is all the more reason WHY ONLY JESUS SHOULD BE THE ULTIMATE FULFILLMENT AND TYPE OF SUCH AN "IMAGE"!!!!


♡ Ideals to include/ recognize in this ideal caring image:

• A deep commitment to you: it should seek only to help you (LIFE ITSELF/ LOVE HIMSELF)
• Strength of mind: it is not exhausted by your level of distress ("I have overcome the world" John 16:33)
• Wisdom: it truly understands what you are going through (THE PASSION & CROSS)
• Warmth: it is kind and gentle with you (Matthew 11:28, 12:20)
• Acceptance: it is not judgmental or critical (DIVINE MERCY; "Our Great High Priest," JOHN 3:16)

♡ Questions to help build/identify your compassionate self-image:
I'm doing these for the System. We are... honestly we are a blessed example of self-compassion already, inherently so, no matter what the deniers and destroyers say. Thank God for giving us each other.
...Reading those ideals I just wrote, I wanted to sob. We have never known that in the physical world, in fact only the exact opposite feebly masquerading as or attempting to be such... it always collapsed catastrophically, in a bitter paroxysm of rage and turncoat hatred. It was always our fault in some way, and although there is honest pain in that sentence we admit it is still true.
Nevertheless... in stark stunning shocking contrast, inside, in the System, EVEN WITH the blood and war and fear, THERE HAS ALWAYS BEEN ABSOLUTE COMPASSION. To this day, to this very day, I wake up and go to bed thanking God for them. Even if it's only the tiniest shattered fragment of a feeling, even if it's buried under the bodyvoice girls who hate everything but God, ironically... for our entire life, despite all odds, our System has been all about love.
So I'm going to fill this out for some of the figureheads of that. I'll do it for more people later, I must... but for now, this special recognition is wholeheartedly deserved.

Answering these for Laurie, Chaos 0, and Mister Sandman:

1. How would you like your compassionate-image to appear to you?

Notably, they're all similar in key ways: physically they are tall & broad-shouldered but NOT towering, boxy, or "burly"; they're slimmer in silhouette, almost androgynous but leaning masculine. They always use open body language, never tight or closed off. They talk with their hands & smile broadly. They ALL have a "touch of age" without being "old"? You can't put a solid number to them. Laurie & Sandman can pass as human but they are subtly "different"; the recognition reminds you of "something greater."

2. How would you like your compassionate-image to sound?

A medium tone, androgynous, not "soft" but not hard either. Level and sincere, strong but kind. Clearly spoken & direct. Medium paced, with frequent, notable inflections, yet no "sudden" shifts or spikes. Emotionally earnest & open. Never flat, detached, rushed, or unclear. They talk to everyone like to a friend-- never as a therapist or professor (even if they act as one), and never with a "stranger's" clipped disinterest. They CARE.

3. Any other sensory qualities-- what colors? how would it feel?

Laurie is violet/white/black/red. Chaos is aqua/peridot/red. Sandman is red/gold/white. All their colors are vivid & clear; no "greying" or faded hues.
They're all built solid but that's "softened" in some way? Chaos is fluid at the core; he's as "soft as water" in every sense; you can feel the surface tension, but it breaks easy into open depths. Mr. Sandman's hands/face are gentle with age, lined and soft, and he ALWAYS wears "pajamas" (silky, light fabric, and glitter to boot). Even Laurie is paradoxically "soft" at the edges, from all her bandages, her battleworn vest, and arguably that famous shock of spiky hair. They all give strong & warm embraces.
Laurie always smells like blood & steel & stars. Mr. Sandman smells like snowflakes & sunlight & winter blankets. Chaos 0 smells like rain & sea & river water, with an unearthly sparkle like diamonds.

4. How will your compassionate-image relate to you and your struggles?

They UNDERSTAND TRAUMA, GRIEF, LOSS, RAGE, & PAIN, but have NO bitterness or despair. Shockingly, they HAVE ALL experienced trauma similar to mine, WITHOUT the explicitness (THANK GOD). But they have all bled & wept & struggled with intense, even violent emotion. They all love deeply; they all have "blamed themselves" for "failing to protect" the ones they love. Chaos actually understands addiction firsthand. Laurie CARRIES MY SCARS & has been suicidal. Mister Sandman knows ALL ABOUT nightmares, even the worst ones. He gets it. For all three of them, no matter what I'm suffering through, in some way I can tragically but blessedly trust that they HAVE "been there"... and they will be there for me, with me, too.

5. How will you relate to your compassionate-image?

They all "personify" key parts of my heart, ideals that I fail to live up to or even truly recognize in myself, yet which resonate so deeply I cannot ever deny them.
Laurie is indefatigable strength & raw wisdom.
Mister Sandman is inexhaustible warmth & acceptance.
Chaos 0 is ineffable commitment and love.