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[prismaticbleed]

✳ It's our last night on the unit. The past 48 hours have been such a powerfully bittersweet experience. It genuinely feels like everything is coming full circle. Last night, we had a beautiful conversation with JY about D.I.D. and our gender identity, and she even teased us a bit about openly calling Anxi our "funky orange girlfriend." We had lovely conversations with PG & PL & MS & DN. We even had some short but sweet interactions with AN & IM & CH & SK. And although we didn't get to speak with ML or ZO or LO, they're still very dear to our heart too. And STAFF have been so kind too-- MJ & SM & MS & AM & ML & SR & DL & so many others. They all mean SO MUCH TO US... and, please remember this, THEY'VE ALL SAID THAT WE MEAN SO MUCH TO THEM, TOO. ...We've dreamed of this our WHOLE LIFE. We've WANTED this DESPERATELY for YEARS. And... suddenly we HAVE it. And apparently it's BECAUSE WE'RE ACTUALLY, AND PERHAPS EVEN OBJECTIVELY (if we seriously consider all that we've been told), A LIKEABLE PERSON. People have SAID that they're going to MISS US. They've told us they're GLAD THEY MET US. They... people here have even said that they love us. Like REAL, HONEST, FRIENDSHIP LOVE. WE'VE WANTED THIS OUR ENTIRE LIFE AND SUDDENLY WE HAVE IT. ...but you know what else? WE DON'T HAVE TO "LOSE" IT WHEN WE LEAVE. WE CAN AND SHOULD KEEP UP COMMUNICATION WITH THESE PEOPLE WE CHERISH SO MUCH. Lord I WISH we had been a better person when we were at UPMC because we truly loved those people too... but we were so out of it. We weren't AUTHENTIC with them. Yes we LOVED JS & JN & EL and so many others but THOSE ARE THE ONLY NAMES WE REMEMBER, from TWO STAYS. That breaks my heart. But... this time is different. This time we're CONSCIOUS & GENUINE & thanks be to God we're IN LOVE so WE'RE ALIVE and ON FIRE so THAT SHOWS! And so people CAN SEE SPARKS OF WHO WE TRULY ARE. ...Maybe even MORE than sparks, since we're BEING HONEST AND OPEN about it at last.

(left unfinished)