tbhu worksheets = healing focus

[prismaticbleed]

(miscellaneous worksheets and handout notes from sept-nov 2024 at tbhu)

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SELF-LOVE AFFIRMATIONS
1. "I am worthy of love" = and I CANNOT LOSE that worthiness. God CREATED me IN Love, TO love. It is the HEART of my very EXISTENCE.
2. "I have the ability to overcome any challenge life gives me" = If it's GIVEN, it's a GIFT, and it is meant FOR you to overcome & build your character by doing so.
3. "I am a radiant and joyous person" = CHOOSE TO BE, in ALL circumstances. Be radically joyful in Christ.
4. "I am worthy of infinite and unending compassion" = And I HAVE it-- God is LOVING ME INTO EXISTENCE at this very moment, of His Own free choice.
5. "Life is filled with joy and abundance" = It truly is! You just have to open your eyes to it. God = Life = Love = INFINITE. And He WANTS to give ALL of that (of Himself) to us.
6. "I am centered, peaceful, and grounded" = When you anchor into your true center-- GOD in your heart-- you find true peace, and connection to all Creation, in Him.
7. "I have always and will continue to always try my best; I honor this" = This leaves no room for self-abusive perfectionism, or bitter regrets. Do everything you are capable of, as you are right now, even as that changes, and give the rest to God.
8. "Success is defined by my willingness to keep going" = You can only really fail if you refuse to try again-- if you give up and quit. But the beauty is that until we die we have limitless chances to get back up.
9. "My body is a beautiful expression of my individuality" = There is literally no one else just like you. God made you unique and on purpose, with an irreplaceable role in His plan. Your body is the vehicle for all of that.
10. "I have the strength to rise in the face of adversity" = God WILL give you ALL the strength you need, for He is ALWAYS with you, guarding & guiding you, and restoring your life daily.

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"COMPASSIONATE SELF-CARE: In order to get into the habit of self-compassion, list all the ways that you would treat a friend in need. Think of someone you care about very much and imagine that they are having a difficult time."
(SIMILAR TO MY OWN = feeling useless/ inadequate/ unwanted/ unloveable; "UGLY" & undeserving? "a bad person"; "not good enough"; "failure/ disappointment") (DO ALL OUR OUTSPACERS HURT WITH THIS IN THEIR OWN WAY???)

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"When I find myself feeling isolated and alone, here are the reasons why I should connect with other people:"

HUMAN BEINGS ARE MADE FOR RELATIONSHIP/ COMMUNION. God IS LOVE and God IS TRINITY and we are MOST LIKE GOD when we LOVE OTHERS INTIMATELY. That means MUTUAL SELF-REVELATION, NON-JUDGMENTAL ACCEPTANCE, HONEST VULNERABILITY, and an OPEN HEART. It means LISTENING to others and AFFIRMING the INHERENT VALUE & WORTHY of their existence, UNCONDITIONALLY. It means EXPRESSING GRATITUDE for their life, and its blessed intersection with yours. It means LOVING them, like Proginoskes said. LOVE IS CONNECTION and YOU CANNOT HAVE CONNECTION TO ANYTHING WITHOUT LOVE and if you're DISCONNECTED it is ACTUAL HELL.

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"Use humor and laughter to improve resilience" = Should we START A COLLECTION on Tumblr (like we used to have)? WE DON'T LAUGH MUCH ANYMORE. THAT REALLY DOES NEED TO CHANGE! I think the more POSITIVE our outlook is, AND the more ABLE TO FIND "HUMOR" WE ARE, the more RESILIENT & POWERFUL we will be under stress??

"Build on what helped you through past rough times and don't repeat actions that didn't help" = REVIEW THE ARCHIVES & SERIOUSLY PRINT OUT THIS DATA! Then REVIEW IT REGULARLY, so we REMEMBER!

DON'T LET REGRETS CRIPPLE YOUR HOPE. WE ARE IMPROVING, EVEN IN LITTLE WAYS-- EVEN JUST BEING ABLE TO REGRET MISTAKES & GENUINELY WANT/ PLAN TO DO BETTER! START LISTING THE GLIMMERS & SIGNALS OF IMPROVEMENT, AND EXPECT SUCCESS, BY GRACE!!
"IMAGINE EVERYTHING GOING WELL"

+ STOP NEGLECTING YOUR EMOTIONAL NEEDS!! MAKE SERIOUS TIME TO DO THE THINGS YOU ENJOY!!

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BECAUSE OF MY BODY, I CAN...

● Walk & run, feeling the thrill of motion
● Sing & play instruments, making music tangible
● Feel different textures & appreciate the "matter" of things
● See colors! There are SO MANY and they're BEAUTIFUL!
● Read and write; hold a book, type on a keyboard
● Be SEEN & HEARD & KNOWN by others
● SPEAK & communicate my inner thoughts
● Exist as a real, concrete presence in the world
● EAT things, literally "communing" with the world
● Explore & go on adventures of DISCOVERY
● Enjoy the sensations of snow, rain, mist, etc.
● Embrace the ones I love, and BE embraced
● PAINT & DRAW things, & GET MESSY about it
● Smell the forest & ocean & sky & spices
● Go outside and play in the snow
● Work with my hands and help people
● Do artwork with fine detail & rich colors
● Walk through the woods and all their cool terrain
● Play video games (ESPECIALLY KLONOA & NIER)
● Stretch & feel all those muscles working!
● Go to Church and RECEIVE THE SACRAMENTS!
● Hug people, shake hands, offer a shoulder to cry on
● Cook & bake & eat & clean WITH THE FAM
● LOVE!

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"List five positive things about yourself that don't have to do with your appearance, and that you treasure about yourself."

1. I have an undying childlike sense of WONDER/ AWE that frequently spills over into JOY. I see beauty & "magic" EVERYWHERE and I am utterly fascinated by the great masterpiece-adventure of the Created Cosmos.

2. I have a rich IMAGINATION that I sadly undervalue/ underestimate. But dude I am writing AT LEAST 20 STORIES. I design characters, I compose music, I BUILD WORLD-STRUCTURES. God has BLESSED me with REAL creative ability.

3. I have a WARM & CARING HEART. I naturally feel tender affection for others and I "spontaneously" seek to do kind & thoughtful things. I find real purpose in service, especially in personal hands-on ways, for those in need.

4. I have an INSIGHTFUL MIND. I am instinctively drawn to self-reflection & have a constant drive to learn from mistakes, understand myself, and COMMUNICATE this hard-won knowledge & thought to others for THEIR benefit & growth as persons.

5. I am COURAGEOUS & RESILIENT. I am apparently able to "bounce back" from negative events & suffering, and to do better for it. I commit myself to constant upward/ forward progress, and I am willing & wanting to embrace challenges.

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Two things you love=
1. THE ORIGINAL MORALIMON TABLETS (2000-2005)
2. ALL THE ARTWORK ON THE "WALL OF LOVE"

Two people you adore=
1. CHAOS ZERO
2. LAURIE UBERICH

Two places you cherish=
1. GIMMELWALD
2. THE BASILICA OF THE NATIONAL SHRINE OF THE IMMACULATE CONCEPTION

One thing you've worked hard to achieve=
SELF-KNOWLEDGE, EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE & STABILITY

One thing that's going well right now=
I'm learning to LOVE & CARE FOR this body & BUILD A GOOD FUTURE

Two subjects or pursuits you're passionate about=
1. SCRIPTURE/ CATECHETICS
2. CREATIVE WRITING/ DESIGN

Two people you can count on for warm hugs and kind words=
1. XENOPHON
2. MISTER SANDMAN

Three things to look forward to=
1. EXPLORING & GIFTING MY TALENTS
2. BUILDING SKILLS + A PORTFOLIO/ DISCOGRAPHY/ BIBLIOGRAPHY
3. A HEALTHY & STRONG BODY TO SERVE GOD WITH!

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"I WISH" =
● that I knew how to play so many instruments, & knew how to draw/ illustrate i the ways I yearn to
● that I lived in Gimmelwald or somewhere else up in the high mountains & woods
● that I still had the little joyful things of my childhood days (GBC, etc.)
● that I had a girlfriend?
(Wishes are surface-level, not deeply thought through, but therefore they are important & informative pointers to more subconscious/ deeper needs)

"I HOPE" =
● that I can make proper restitution for the harm I've done
● that I can live without fear or despair from the past
● that I can "make up for time lost" and make my life an offering of praise to God in ALL things
● that I can be a truly good person by grace, helping & serving others & the church, selflessly & joyfully & easily
● that I can TRULY become a virtuous person (at ALL times)
(Hopes are tinged with anxiety? They are born from a sense of LACK where there SHOULD be something good; we hope for what we CAN'T SEE, but DEEPLY desire?)

"I WANT" =
● to serve God with everything I am & have
● to be a blessing to my family, to bring them honor & joy instead of shame & sorrow
● to write several books/ stories/ films/ etc. & share them with the world for their joy & love
● to learn more skills in art & music & math
● to be vulnerable & courageous & strong & compassionate & just & trustworthy & reliable & a true witness to Christ
● to use ALL my talents TO THE FULL for the sake of loving God & others
● for my life to be something genuinely benevolent & edifying
● TO BE A SAINT.

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I WANT TO MANIFEST=
THE FULL & PROLIFIC REALIZATION & PRACTICE OF MY GOD-GIVEN CREATIVE & IMAGINATIVE TALENTS, IN ALL MEDIUMS I PURSUE; TO SHARE THEM OPENLY WITH THE WORLD FOR THEIR BENEFIT & JOY

LIMITING BELIEFS I NEED TO GET RID OF=
"My ideas are stupid/ immature/ cliched"
"I don't have the knowledge/ skill to succeed"
"Doing creative work is a waste of time/ selfish"
"I love this too much; I'm not allowed to have it"
"I'm too sick/ crazy to do this as well as it deserves"

MY DAILY AFFIRMATION=
"God has blessed me with these talents TO BE INVESTED."
"People love & cherish my work."
"I am creatively gifted."
"I have great artistic potential waiting to be realized."
"My gifts are great goods meant to be shared with the world."

ACTION PLAN=
● Begin by SCHEDULING LEAGUEWORK & SKILLS DEVELOPMENT into EVERY DAY, NO EXCEPTIONS.
● START TEACHING YOURSELF CELLO & VIOLA. Don't be afraid to play with the Guzheng either!
● PRACTICE ON THE WACOM. Start small; trace & color to get the hang of it.
● DO VISUAL ART PRACTICE: environments, people, animals, perspective, ANATOMY
● FIGURE OUT ROUGH PLOT OUTLINES for ALL STORIES! PRIORITIZE BEGINNINGS/ ENDINGS, CONFLICT/ CLIMAX/ RESOLUTION?
● CHARACTER BUILDING & DESIGN!

IN VISUALIZATION, I SEE=
● A rich bibliography, discography, & portfolio.
● Children & adults alike cherishing & celebrating the stories, moved by the music & art.
● A rich & joyful "fandom" fueled & inspired by love.

IN VISUALIZATION, I HAVE=
● The MEANS/ MEDIUMS/ TOOLS/ SPACE/ SKILLS I need.
● An honorable reputation as a creative inspiration for God's glory.
● Recognition of my WHOLE SOUL in TRUTH and received with LOVE.

IN VISUALIZATION, I FEEL=
● At peace, joyful, purposeful, grateful, dedicated, full of wonder & dreams.
● Motivated & fresh-minded & bright-eyed.
● Like I'm FINALLY doing what I was meant to do/ redeeming the time.

TO-DO LIST=
● KEEP WRITING ROUGH DRAFTS. NO SUPPRESSING.
● Practice instruments daily; focused improvement
● Develop specific artistic skills; one at a time
● Try new mediums/ modes liberally
● Look into publishing options & seek advice
● Get FEEDBACK on work; get involved in community
● Start editing & compiling works into book form

MY PRAYER TO THE UNIVERSE=
Lord Jesus, You blessed me with these stories & songs because You delight in letting me cooperate/ share in YOUR Creative Joy. Please guide & inspire me to use my talents fully & wisely, for Your Glory, as You intend. May I manifest YOUR Trust/ Beauty/ Goodness in everything I create.

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"WHAT IF" (I RECOVER?)

What if I understand the lessons and they stay with me?
What if I actually do my work well & enjoy it?
What if I meet new friends when I go out?
What if my food heals & strengthens my body?
What if I'm able to express honest emotion openly?
What if I stay healthy & keep living?
What if I learn from every mistake & ultimately succeed?
What if new colors look beautiful on me?
What if people actually enjoy & look forward to my recovery?
What if inspiration strikes me in unexpected places?
What if I grow stronger & wiser?
What if my heart starts growing warmer?
What if the fishing nets are filled to bursting on the last try?
What if I just enjoy the storm wind's fierce beauty?
What if the peacemakers prevail despite all odds?
What if my parents learn to love each other more deeply?
What if we still arrive exactly when and where we need to?
What if my smile is still beautiful & joyful no matter how I look?
What if I laugh at my mishaps along with everyone else?
What if I learn to dance without shame?
What if everything is truly well in the end?
What if my future is brighter than I ever dared imagine?
What if I dare to hope beyond hope?
What if love truly does conquer all?

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These are the reasons I am thankful for having a body=

★ GOD GAVE IT TO ME AS A PERFECTLY-MATCHED & PERFECTLY DESIGNED GIFT for me to CHERISH & STEWARD WELL & USE TO ITS FULL & INTENDED POTENTIAL, UNIQUE TO MY PERSONAL TALENTS & ABILITIES & CIRCUMSTANCES, FOR HIS GLORY, IN PRAISE AND LOVE!!
● WITHOUT A BODY, I CANNOT INTERACT WITH CREATION.
● This body can touch the trees & water & feel the warmth of fire & the cold winter air. It can feel snow & rain & mist & sunshine. It can pick flowers & I can press them soft to my face & smell their unique fragrances & delight in seeing their vivid colors and delicate intricate radial shapes. I can pick up a violin or guitar or harp and touch the beautiful taut-metal strings & hear them singing.
● I can sing. I can SPEAK and communicate through the divine gift of language, the Word's blessing of words that only mankind possesses. I can move this body in strong & elegant ways. I can run & jump & swim & ride a bike. I can walk & climb & lift heavy things & stretch & sleep. I can taste food & cook food & be dazzled by the creative wonder of flavors & textures & scents & nutritious value that was MADE for this body & all others. I can write with this marker & sit on this chair & BREATHE and I feel the floor under my feet & hear the voices around me & treasure being ALIVE.
● I can HEAR MUSIC & WRITE MUSIC & PLAY MUSIC. I can create ART full of SHAPE & COLOR & TEXTURE. I can feel real emotions & I can feel pain, as well as I can feel the exhilaration of exercise or the comforting relief of collapsing on the couch afterwards.
● This body itself is a fascinating miracle. Every cell in it is an intricate & astounding part of a united whole, performing its vital functions without my even realizing. Every organ is a work of art. Every last atom of this body is fearfully & wonderfully made by my Loving Creator, & knitted together as a gift for me, as a Temple for His Spirit, as a new & irreplaceable & NEEDED part of Christ's Mystical Body. MY body has a HOLY ORIGIN and a HOLY PURPOSE and I TRULY AM THANKFUL FOR IT. Even when ti feels weird & sick & scary & uncomfortable, even when it's weak & bloated & crippled & damaged by misuse & abuse, it's STILL a GOOD GIFT. I am still grateful. So LIVE THAT OUT! 

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TOP TEN THINGS I'D LIKE TO OWN=
1. FULL LEGAL COPYRIGHT FOR CHAOS 0
2. A FULL-SIZE 88 WEIGHTED-KEY MIDI KEYBOARD
3. A FULL 7-OCTAVE SET OF HANDBELLS
4. A PRO MUSIC COMPOSING PROGRAM
5. LOTS OF HIGH QUALITY ART SUPPLIES, ESP. MARKERS
6. LEAGUEWORLD FANWORKS
7. THE TWO COLORED FROST* VINYLS
8. SYSTEM PLUSHIES/ FIGURES
9. A CAPABLE COMPUTER SETUP
10. A HOUSE AND A CAR

TOP TEN RULES I LIVE BY=
1. LOVE CONQUERS ALL
2. FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT OF FAITH
3. NEVER GIVE UP HOPE
4. ALWAYS BE HONEST, INSIDE AND OUT
5. TRUST IN GOD'S PROVIDENCE
6. BE A POSITIVE INFLUENCE
7. CHOOSE RADICAL GRATITUDE
8. LOOK FOR THE HIDDEN TREASURE
9. EVERYTHING/ EVERYONE IS A TEACHER
10. THERE IS ALWAYS A MEANING AND A LESSON

TOP TEN DREAMS I HAVE FOR THE FUTURE=
1. PUBLISH MY BOOKS & COMICS
2. MAKE A MOVIE + ANIMATED SERIES
3. COMPOSE A MUSIC ALBUM + HIT SONG
4. BECOME A SKILLED ARTIST
5. GET SUPER STRONG + BUFF
6. BECOME A VOICE FOR A CAUSE
7. MAKE MY FAMILY PROUD + BRING THEM HONOR
8. REPARATION/ RESTITUTION IN FULL, WITH INTEREST
9. MAKE A VIDEO GAME
10. KNOW THAT MY WORK SAVED SOMEONE'S LIFE

TOP THEN THINGS I LIKE TO DO=
1. WRITE
2. DRAW
3. COMPOSE MUSIC
4. SING
5. PLAY MUSIC
6. EXERCISE
7. LEARN NEW THINGS
8. BRAINSTORMING
9. WORKING WITH MY HANDS
10. EXPLORE

TOP TEN PLACES I LIKE TO GO=
1. UPSTAIRS
2. DIAMEW
3. GIMMELWALD
4. SJE (ALONE)
5. THE NATIONAL SHRINE
6. THE VIEW ON JAYCE'S HILL
7. DEEP INTO THE FOREST
8. UNDERWATER
9. EMPTY MOVIE THEATERS
10. MARYWOOD

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PEOPLE WHO HELP ME ON HARD DAYS=
JESUS, LAURIE, CHAOS 0, GENESIS, LYNNE, JULIE, LEON, KNIFE, SCALPEL, XENOPHON, ANXI, MIMIC, WRECKAGE, and God willing EVERYONE ELSE (BRING US BACK TO FULL LIFE)

MY COPING SKILLS=
TALKING TO THE SYSTEM! Listening to System music, journaling, reading Leaguework, playing cello/ guzheng, reading favorite Scripture verses, "crisis survival skills," exercising, imaginative meditation (especially while walking), collages? paintblots? watching a favorite movie? playing Klonoa? PRAYER!

I FEEL SAFE AND CALM=
- When I'm IN TUNE WITH THE SYSTEM and ACTIVELY CONNECTED TO CENTRAL and COMMUNICATING in realtime.
- Alone in SJE?
- Spotify nights with the CoreGroup
- In heartspaces: Gimmelwald, the String Shop, the National Shrine Basilica

I AM=
INSIGHTFUL, CREATIVE, DETERMINED, COURAGEOUS, HOPEFUL, TENACIOUS, LOVING, HARD-WORKING, CAPABLE, STRONG, INTELLIGENT, FORGIVING, DEVOTED, RESILIENT, SINCERE, GRATEFUL, CURIOUS, COMPASSIONATE, OPTIMISTIC, ADVENTUROUS

MY POSITIVE THOUGHTS=
+ I AM TALENTED AND I AM SKILLED ENOUGH TO SUCCEED
+ I AM A POSITIVE INFLUENCE IN THE LIVES OF OTHERS
+ MY LIFE HAS MEANING, PURPOSE, AND WORTH, ALWAYS


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TOP SIX VALUES=
1. RELIGION
2. INTEGRITY (VIRTUE BUNDLE!)
3. TRUTH/ HONESTY
4. CREATIVITY (MEANINGFUL WORK)
5. COMPASSION or WISDOM (FORTITUDE?)
6. FIDELITY

✳ FIDELITY includes the virtues of COMMITMENT, LOYALTY, & DEPENDABILITY, and by extension, PERSISTENCE & DECISIVENESS, DEVOTION, etc.
✳ COMPASSION includes, even produces, the virtues of FORGIVENESS, MERCY, GENEROSITY, GENTLENESS, KINDNESS, etc. It is effectively "SELF-GIFT", which I value profoundly.
✳ FORTITUDE, to me, encompasses DETERMINATION, FREEDOM, ADVENTURE, FLEXIBILITY, CHALLENGE, COMPETENCE, & HONOR. It involves RESPECT & ACCOUNTABILITY .
✳INTEGRITY is THE "virtue bundle." It means RIGHTEOUSNESS, WISDOM, HONESTY & TRUTH, GENUINENESS, INNER PEACE, CLARITY, GROWTH, HOLINESS, & PURPOSE.
✳ CREATIVITY flows into MEANINGFUL WORK, JOY, VULNERABILITY, KNOWLEDGE, and MANY SHARED VIRTUES with the other five.

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COPING SKILLS

✳DEVELOP MORE "INTERNAL" COPING SKILLS = that DON'T NEED EXTERNAL TOOLS/ MEANS TO USE! e.g. MEMORIZE PRAYERS & SCRIPTURE; READ LEAGUEWORK TO GET IT BACK SOLIDLY INTO YOUR HEART; MEMORIZE SONGS TO "HEAR" AND "PERFORM")

● Journaling on the laptop
● Reading Leaguework
● Listening to Spotify (MAKE a "distress tolerance" playlist)
● Browsing our System and/or religious Tumblr(s) (CLEAN UP THE FEED!!)
● Walk to Adoration
● Pray the wall prayers (MEMORIZE them, one at a time?)
● Read a random book from the shelves (✳ALWAYS have BIBLE+BOOK with you)
● Fill out a personality survey
● Handwritten journaling
● Describe food/meal in grateful, positive words
● Google Maps World Tour
● League research
● Read the Psalms & Gospels
● Practice an instrument
● Practice drawing something from a reference
● Read a (fiction) book out loud
● Do a writing prompt (Oneword)
● Write a Moralimon encyclopedia page
● Magazine collage
● Paintblots
● Exercise
● Gratitude journal/ Devotional journal
● Play Klonoa
● Walk to the library & just browse
● Walk to the church & just sit in the silence

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"Find healthy ways to identify and cope with your emotions."
WE ONLY RELAPSE WHEN WE DON'T COPE, AND WE CAN ONLY COPE TOGETHER!!! (it's LOVE!!!)
Remind ourselves = "WE CAN DO THIS!"

"List some coping skills you can use."
HEADSPACE MEDITATION, PLAY KLONOA, WATCH INSIDE OUT 2, TALK TO THE SYSTEM, STRETCH, EXERCISE, READ SCRIPTURE, LISTEN TO SYSTEM MUSIC, HUG A PLUSH, MAKE A POMANDER, DO LEAGUEWORK, PLAY CELLO, DO PERSONALITY SURVEYS, JOURNALING, WALK IN THE WOODS? TUMBLR COLLECTIONS? (USE THEM PRODUCTIVELY!) READ "LOVE" ARCHIVE ENTRIES. LOOK AT PICTURES OF BELOVEDS. REMIND OURSELVES THAT THAT IS OUR GOAL IN RECOVERY-- TO LIVE FOR LOVE/ GOD!!

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✳ You KNOW what thoughts are distorted. It's OBVIOUS. If it is focused on DEATH, PANIC, CONTROL, CONDEMNATION, etc. it's NOT OF GOD!! God speaks in LOVE, LIFE, GRATITUDE, FREEDOM, & PEACE. And God CREATED FOOD TO BE GOOD!
✳ EMOTIONS ARE THE INSTIGATORS. When they're scared & hurting & misinformed, TALK TO THEM WITH LOVE. HELP THEM HEAL AND SEE THE TRUTH. And "IGNITE" POSITIVE EMOTIONS WITH COPING SKILLS (DBT) DAILY!!!
✳ CHOOSE GOOD THOUGHTS. CROWD OUT THE BATTLEFIELD! USE YOUR TRUE & POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS! READ SCRIPTURE! TALK TO THE SYSTEM! PRINT OUT THE ARCHIVAL REVELATIONS FOR RECOVERY!
✳ GOOD THOUGHTS FUEL GOOD ACTIONS! SO TANK UP!!
✳ BEHAVIORS CAN CAUSE THOUGHTS & EMOTIONS!!! THIS IS WHY IT'S VITAL TO "MIMIC (♥) IT UNTIL YOU MEAN IT!!" DON'T RUN FROM CHALLENGES. TAKE THAT FIRST STEP. PRACTICE "OPPOSITE ACTION"!! This stuff WORKS! Your BODY & BRAIN are CONNECTED. The more you BRAVELY DO the GOOD THING, the more it'll HELP your THOUGHTS align with the good, AND HELP HEAL/ UPLIFT YOUR EMOTIONS!! Literally ALL OF IT WORKS TOGETHER. ♥

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Take baby steps in beginning to limit unhealthy behaviors (ACTING ON DISTORTED THOUGHTS & FEELINGS!); expecting total recovery all at once WILL FAIL. IT TAKES TIME TO EVENTUALLY REPLACE THOSE BEHAVIORS! MATT 12:43-45! PUT GOOD IN = NEW BUILDING = CHRIST AS FOUNDATION!
✳ GOD HAS GIVEN you the GRACE TO COOPERATE WITH HIS GOOD WILL for you, BY/ WITH YOUR WILL that He ALSO gave you! The point is, GOD HAS GIVEN YOU THE ABILITY. He will NOT remove your FREEDOM, because that CHOICE is what ALLOWS for LOVE. God WANTS you to WORK WITH HIM in His plan! He ENJOYS teamwork! YOU'RE HIS CHILD!!

✳LET MOM HELP YOU TOO. Sharing meals with her REGULARLY will help you BREAK THE RIGID RULES & BE FLEXIBLE & TRY NEW THINGS. Remember the GOAL is JOY & FREEDOM!! FOOD IS NOT AN ENEMY OR THREAT!! LEARN TO SEE FOOD AS FUEL. BE GRATEFUL & ADVENTUROUS IN GOD'S CREATION!

✳ FIND THE "EATING DISORDER VOICE" AND TALK TO HER. SHE ISN'T AN ENEMY EITHER. She's just SCARED. The goal is NOT to "be at war" with ANYONE. The goal is to LOVE AND WORK TOGETHER towards HEALING/ INTEGRITY, TRUTH, PEACE, & LOVE!!

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"What gives your life meaning? In what ways?"

CREATIVITY
I ENJOY= writing in a journal, brainstorming League ideas, singing, making collages? playing an instrument? (piano, cello? HANDS) coloring digitally? gaining new knowledge by research, worksheets like this, creative exercises
I feel ACHIEVEMENT when= I draw/ color a picture, write a song, write a poem or creative prompt, perform a musical piece well, am able to act dependably to help another/ behave virtuously (HABIT)
I WANT TO= publish a book, compose/ perform/ release a music album, start a blog/ website/ store, become skilled in illustration, learn cello, learn painting
I am DRAWN TO= language skill/ elegance (+lyrical), artistic ingenuity, musical originality, hands-on care for others, making things with beneficial utility, MATH & SCIENCE
I feel PURPOSEFUL when= I do good hard work with my hands, express my imaginative ideas/ tell League stories, tangibly help someone in need
I VALUE= helping others, sharing my inspiration, seeing & celebrating beauty & goodness, selfless care for the needy, creative expression & skill

EXPERIENCE
I ENJOY= going to church & church activities, walking in the woods, running/ lifting weights, listening to music that inspires/ intrigues me, choir/ orchestra performances? reading books? "people watching?"
I feel ACHIEVEMENT when= I explore new places (especially nature), when I gain inspiration from attending a performance AND have the GUTS to GO to one, when I go to daily Mass/ Adoration, when I finish reading a book
I WANT TO= visit museums, go on nature hikes, be part of an orchestra again, participate in local creative/ queer/ religious communities
I am DRAWN TO= heartfelt expression (NOT "shock value" or "irreverent") through the arts? storytelling? athletics? HUMAN CONNECTION? Adventure/ discovery/ exploration, museums/ galleries (histories of human creativity & knowledge), worship
I feel PURPOSEFUL when= I sing in church, when I contribute to a group art expression (concert, gallery, etc.), when I am able to share insights with a group in a genuinely beneficial way, when I am kind to others
I VALUE= my faith/ religion, the beauty of nature, creative sharing, sincere community/ communion, love for humanity (& human creativity) and cherishing creation

ATTITUDE
✳WHAT CAN I DO & HOW? to LEAD ME TOWARDS A GOOD LIFE↑✳
● ANOTHER WAY OF LOOKING AT THINGS = be CREATIVE & ADVENTUROUS with both METHODS of achieving these goals AND being open to POSSIBLE CHANGES & NEW PATHS that I didn't consider before. Don't despair if ONE way doesn't "work"; THERE ARE ALWAYS OTHERS!
● BIGGER PICTURE = GOD-GIVEN TALENTS/ GIFTS; "LOVE LIKE CHRIST" (SELF-GIFT; COMMUNION); TRUTH/ BEAUTY/ GOODNESS/ JOY SHARED; "GOD'S GLORY IS A HUMAN BEING FULLY ALIVE" = CELEBRATE THE GIFT
● SOMEONE ELSE'S POV = DO say I HAVE gifts TO share that ARE valued AND NEEDED/ WANTED! I HAVE A GOOD & BENEFICIAL CONTRIBUTION TO MAKE
● ADVICE TO OTHERS = TRY new things BOTH to DISCOVER what resonates with YOUR UNIQUE SOUL & maybe PARTICIPATE in them, AND to simply EXPERIENCE & TREASURE the BEAUTIFUL RICHNESS & WONDER of LIFE & HUMANITY
● BEST/HELPFUL RESPONSE = You have ONE LIFE. It's a GIFT FROM GOD, to be STEWARDED & SHARED & CHERISHED & CELEBRATED! START LIVING IT FULLY!! ♥

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Remember a time in the past when you let go (of food & shape obsession) and the situation improved. What happened?
✳ INPATIENT. I'm eating EVERYTHING, I DON'T WANT TO PURGE, my body IS GETTING BIGGER & BULKIER, my self-esteem is GROWING & NOT BASED ON SHAPE/ FEELING, and I'm LEARNING HOW TO LOVE THIS BODY.
✳ IMPROVED = Strength, energy, concentration, sleep, vitals, nutrition; body is REBUILDING what it lost & HEALING the damage. I'm spending my time WRITING & LEARNING & MAKING ART & INSPIRING OTHERS & ENJOYING BEAUTY. I see food as a JOYFUL GIFT. I'm ABLE to LIKE AND DISLIKE things. I'm less obsessive over food choices, seeing the good in it ALL, BUT making WISE decisions based on WHAT MY BODY UNIQUELY NEEDS. I'm growing in VIRTUE. I'm PART of a COMMUNITY. I have HOPE & PLANS FOR THE FUTURE. I'm healing my relationship with mom. I'm FREEING MY LIFE.

Pick one thing you are willing to let go of, if only a little bit. Write it down. Name one small step you can take in letting it go.
1. Let go of OBSESSING OVER MY STOMACH SHAPE. IT DOESN'T DEFINE YOU, OR CHANGE YOUR PERSONALITY.
2. Let go of LABELING FOODS AS "BAD/ WRONG." IT DOESN'T DEFINE/CHANGE YOU EITHER. ROMANS 14. ALL OF IT IS GOD'S GOOD CREATION.
1a= Start ACTIVELY PRACTICING GRATITUDE & ACCEPTANCE for it: half-smiling, willing hands, positive qualities, etc. IT'S KEEPING YOU ALIVE. Also, it's FUEL FOR STRENGTH! It's your NATURAL BODY SHAPE too, STURDY & SOLID & GOOD!
2a= KEEP A FOOD GRATITUDE JOURNAL, & RECOGNIZE THE "INGREDIENTS" AS ART? "CREATIVE COOPERATION" WITH GOD! DO NOT CONDEMN ANY FOOD, EVEN the ones you dislike. THERE'S ALWAYS STILL SOMETHING TO APPRECIATE AND GIVE THANKS FOR.

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