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[prismaticbleed]

✳ We had a MASSIVE panic attack over the peanut-allergy challenge today, and we realized that DIFFERENT HUED FONI WOULD COMFORT ANXI DIFFERENTLY!!!
RED = "You can do it! I believe in you! You've done tougher things than this. We'll win this one too!"
ORANGE = "We're here with you/ for you, no matter what happens. You're never alone. We'll help you!"
YELLOW = "I'm excited to try it! Think of all mom's good desserts we can enjoy afterwards! It'll be fun!"
GREEN = "Peanuts are nutritious; here's all the healthy benefits of eating them! They're a GOOD thing."
AQUA = "Don't let fear of the past/ lies blind you to the beauty of this moment & the freedom we've gained."
BLUE = "Think of what characters/ people we know who DO like/ enjoy peanuts! Get help/ inspiration from them!"
INDIGO = "I understand how scared you are. It's okay/ makes sense. But it won't last forever. You'll be okay."
VIOLET = "Use your wise mind. It's not gonna kill you. We've tried them before. Let me talk you through the fear."
PINK = "I'm proud of you for being so brave! I know you're scared, but you're strong. You'll grow from this."
BROWN = "Relax. Getting worked up won't help. Look, we've proved we're not allergic. You can calm down."
BLACK? = "Don't let the fear define you or the food. Challenge it. There's a pure reality beneath that lie."
WHITE? = "No matter what happens, God will take care of us. We're doing our best & He will take care of the rest."
✳ These are all "INTUITIVE/ TENTATIVE" & MUST BE FELT/ HEARD FURTHER/ FULLY (when we're not in the literal situation stress).
✳ To Anxi, from me, summing all this up: CHANGING THE "CONTEXT" OF THE PEANUT DOES NOT "RESET" THE ALLERGY! If we ate peanut BUTTER and we were FINE, TWICE, then eating a PEANUT will ALSO BE FINE! And we NEED the EXPERIENCE to PROVE that TRUTH to our poor mind!!
✳ ↑ remember this = telling Anxi I would never do something that would hurt her. I took her hands & asked her, "do you trust me?" I remembered my own trauma & those words hurt to hear in echo, but then I remembered my own love and those words still held that original truth, even more strongly-- and that is what I meant now, so sincerely. And she looked at me, scared but hopeful, her gorgeous green eyes fixed on mine, and she said yes. I wish I could remember the tiny details. I kissed her forehead. I embraced her so tenderly, carefully. I marveled at the little motes of orange light emanating from her. God I LOVE her SO MUCH. She is SUCH A BLESSING IN MY LIFE. And you know what else? HER spark of love has REKINDLED ALL THE OTHER ONES. I can FEEL LOVE AGAIN and it's BEAUTIFUL. THIS IS WHAT TRUE LIFE IS ABOUT.

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For my new roommate's sake, I picked up the Book of Mormon this morning & flipped it open at random to read it. I landed at Moroni 7 and BOY LET ME TELL YOU, I will never convert to LDS because the organization itself is cultish & their core theology is ENTIRELY BLASPHEMOUS & NONSCRIPTURAL, but this bit of their holy book IS TRULY BEAUTIFUL & EDIFYING and I DO BELIEVE IT IS INSPIRED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT! After all, Joseph Smith DID SINCERELY LOVE GOD & CHRIST & WANTED TO RIGHTLY SERVE HIM. And the devil only took advantage of that & sowed seeds of lies & confusion to SABOTAGE that faith of his. BUT GOD CANNOT BE MOCKED, & JOSEPH WAS STILL HIS BELOVED CHILD, and so YES, there IS TRUTH & BEAUTY & GOODNESS IN THEIR FAITH & BOOK! It just NEED to be read with CAREFUL DISCERNMENT, using SCRIPTURE & TRADITION AS THE TEST. But the point is, STOP BASHING THE LDS FAITH. THEY STILL LOVE GOD & GOD DOES SPEAK TRUTH TO THEM. They're just ALSO VERY CONFUSED ON KEY ISSUES. It doesn't "invalidate" their faith, OR the Holy Spirit's ACTUAL speaking to them-- as I am SURE He speaks to ALL sincerely faithful & God-loving hearts, be they LDS or Hindu or Muslim or anything else, EVEN when those hearts ARE STILL GREATLY DELUDED BY THE DEVIL. GOD DOES NOT ABANDON OR REJECT THEM. And in the end, when those hearts DO see Christ, they WILL RECOGNIZE HIM AS EVERY TRUTH THEY SOUGHT, and THEY TOO WILL BE SAVED THROUGH HIM. So there is ALWAYS HOPE. DON'T EVER HINDER THAT!!!